I must be getting crusty as I age because as I encounter more and more of that type of nonsense, I've also been emailing the rec league with the subject, "Coaching Education deficiencies to address." I can deal with it, but like you said a lot of the younger or newer ones don't yet know to nip it in the bud.
Rec tournament U12 boys semifinals. 0-0 at half. The field marshal asked what happens if the game is still tied after regulation. I said two full five-minute halves, then kicks from the mark. Then I said "I have been told a good referee never lets a game go to overtime, and a decent referee never lets a game go to kicks." One minute into the second half, black team scores. Ten minutes to go in the game, black has a high kick in front of a white player's nose. I call for the dangerous play, IFK right outside black's PA. My arm is up and I loudly say "Indirect!" White player shoots and the black keeper gets a hand on it, but goes in the net anyway. I signal goal. No argument from the coach. He told his keeper "If you just let it go in the net, we would have a goal kick." Final ten minutes are up and we go to OT. Two five-minute halves later we go to kicks. The field marshal approaches me, grinning, saying "since they are going to kicks, you must suck!" Thanks, girl.
That was my line to the parents on Saturday (yes, I know we aren't supposed to talk to parents, but there wasn't a field marshal in sight and I'm all good taking care of myself). I'm AR2. AR1 is a solid young referee - juco college player who knows his stuff. Center is a second-year referee who is still finding his bearings a little in the middle (he's a fantastic AR - I'd take him on my substate final line in a second), but is going to be a solid high school center for us. AR1 calls an offside as White attacker is chasing a ball to the corner flag. He's the only attacker close to the ball, and he isn't giving himself up. On the flag and whistle, White's coach comes unglued screaming that he has to touch the ball for it to be offside (obviously not true). First caution. That obviously gets White's crowd riled up and they start griping about every little perceived injustice. At one point, I call down the sideline to let us officiate. Cue the "well then start officiating!" nonsense that I expected to hear. Next stoppage, I call the center over and tell him from about 15 yards (in other words, loud enough that everyone at the field can hear it) that he needs to let the coach know his parents are all in jeopardy of going to their cars if they don't stay quiet. Center goes over to the coach, who just says, "Yeah, I heard him." Mission accomplished - the parents stay quiet the rest of the game. Seven minutes left, center calls a push against Blue. White's coach says in a sarcastic tone, "Great, NOW you finally start calling that. Good job!" Whistle, second caution, red. Coach walks off. As he walks by my corner flag, his comment (loud enough for me to hear) is, "Well, that's just par for the course with the second badly officiated game we have had in a row." My response, loudly enough for him to hear, is "I'll be sure that goes in our game report as well. I'd advise you to stop before things get worse for you." He wasn't happy with me in the second half as he felt I missed several offside calls. Unfortunately, he was on the other side of the field as Blue was threading well-timed through balls and carving his defense to shreds. As I told the center after the game, the coach knows I work high school and college and was just upset his defense fell apart.
Even worse. We had a knucklehead referee make such a public statement, in hihis "inside" voice that can only be heard a county away, and then call a PK in the last minute. Whether the call was easy, correct, soft, or flat out wrong was irrelevant. The losing team was convinced that the call was only made so that he didn't have to ref OT/kicks.
A few years ago, a fellow ref told me "This game isn't going to OT." There was a legit handling in the PA with less than a minute to go. The kicker booted it over the crossbar and we went to OT anyway. And KFTM. The soccer gods do have a sense of humor.
I had zero problems in my tournament this past weekend and I never wore red at all. Well, except this one The coach and team I had the issue with wore red.
I did a USL-2 game as AR2 last night. There was a guy in the stands with an English accent that was more creative and entertaining with his heckling. He's having a laugh! It's like a stand-up show out here That's soft, he's like a teddy bear The center managed a player at one point by calling out to me "[DaytonRef] do you have anything else" leading to more gems [DaytonRef], you can help him out (ck/gk decision in opposite corner) [DaytonRef], don't let him talk to you like that, send him off (for throw in complaints) There were others, but those were the most memorable.
HSBV first round playoff game last night. I'm AR1 in a game where Red dominates the game 5-0 and has about 85% possession. Unfortunately, our AR2 tweaked a hamstring early in the first half, so given the possession disparity I ran AR2 in the second half with the blessing of both coaches. We are using comms for the game. Red is getting their timing down on their runs. They get it down about 7 minutes in, and Red's right winger times a run perfectly with White #4 (right in front of me) holding him on. Per our pregame, I call out "Go, go!" to indicate he's onside. #4 was caught ball-watching, so by the time Red's winger has the ball he's 10 yards downfield. #4 looks at me with the classic "bail me out" raised hand as I'm calling into the comms, "4 kept him on!" After Red scores, 4 looks at me with the "Me? Really?" look. My response to him is, "Yes, 4 - you held him on." Comms are awesome!
I get that it wasn't your pregame, but when you get to the point that you are giving instructions, I suggest using "on" as "go" sounds too much like "no". Additionally, I encourage vocalizing things like; "On", "Number X", "In", etc when not on comms. It helps the players, takes some heat off of you, and if you say it loud enough, helps the center. It is hard to do consistently at first, but it really helps the game and then it is second nature when the headset goes on.
I'm not sure what comms added to that situation. Walking the dog -- or the more standard flag down non-signal -- would have worked perfectly well there.
I hear you; separate from the fact that in PA I would not have a flag to (not) raise, probably the most I'd do would be to shake my head with the universal facial expression that says "Dude, c'mon." I salute @RefIADad for continuing to strive toward successful communication with HBV players.
I have two teenage sons myself. I should start laying odds which group will listen to me first . . . To @DaytonRef 's point, I do usually try to verbalize as much as I can, with or without comms. It seems like the players respond to that more than I originally thought they would. In our association, we've usually used "go" instead of "on" because if the mics cut out, "on" and "off" can be confusing. But I see the point of confusing "go" with "no". Overall, I do like using comms. In my pregames, I always tell my crew that comms never replace the usual eye contact, subtle hand signals, etc. We are to referee in the same manner we work without comms. The biggest time they do come in handy is when there is an offside in the referee's quadrant and maybe his/her back is to me as play moves to the far sideline. For me, that's by far the most common time that I miss an offside flag.
For those that don’t know me, I have rather long hair. While officiating, I wear it in a pony tail. Last night, I had a junior college game where I was AR2 near the fans side of the field. At one point during the game, I heard a female fan yell, “Ref, I just love your hair!”
I have a 10 inch scar on my right knee. I got a “How are you even walking…” once. the calves are a good one, though. Mine was sympathetic.
When I first started reffing HS (about a decade ago) I was on the younger end of the spectrum. A player gave me her coaches number on a roster after the game.... *face palm*