Hopefully (or maybe not . . .), we'll have a few more of these this season. I'll start with having a day today. Game 1 of an indoor tournament - 55x30 fields, 7v7, 40 minute games. I toss a parent who never thought his kid ever committed a foul. When I carded his kid for his fourth foul in about 20 minutes (right in front of him, which was even more enjoyable), he continued to yap. When I asked him to stop his behavior, his response was, "You've been terrible at best all game." The worst part of this was when I asked the coach to remove him, he asked me what he said. His response was, "You need thicker skin than that." Well, OK then. Game 6, U12 (note it's U12) semifinal. I have a clear view from 10 yards away for a classic case of a defender playing the ball into his arm that is in a completely natural position. I wave off the penalty appeal as the parents go crazy. It's U12, they still all think any contact with the arm is handling. Following the game, a parent from the team (same club as in Game 1) confronts me and won't let me pass as I'm trying to leave for the referee room. He obviously doesn't have the foggiest idea of Law 12 as he kept saying it was a penalty and I missed it. I finally had to slide past him with a final request to sign up for an officiating class if he thinks he knows the Laws so well. I've already filed my reports with the competition directors, and I'm anticipating the executive director of the club getting a phone call this week as the state has had other issues with this club during the fall and now into the winter.
Getting ready for my first high school season, I ran across this manual from the Alabama High School Athletic Association. Maybe it was originally written decades ago and was never updated. "Every crowd will include a number of people who heckle an official. Many persons believe that to do so is a legitimate part of a game. Fans not only lose respect for an official who in anyway reacts to criticism, but if the official gives evidence of being conscious of heckling, their criticism becomes more intense. Officials must be “deaf” and “thickskinned” and ignore any and all spectator comment." https://www.ahsaa.com/Portals/0/Officials/Soccer Officials Manual 2019.pdf?ver=2018-09-25-091527-437
Like so many things of yesteryear, that advice is outdated. I completely get the typical stuff that's 99% of what we hear. But when it is specifically directed and personal after 20-25 minutes of whining, I draw the line. My request to him (which I did because there was no administrator present near the field) was extremely polite and a request. His response was direct, personal, and not needed in a U12 game loud enough for all of the players on that sideline to hear. This guy was very likely one of these parents who had never been told to be quiet, and he didn't react well when he was actually called out for his behavior. My guess is he won't change his ways - these types of parents usually don't.
Depending on who is asking and where the wall is, I may either take 10 giagantic or 10 smaller steps. If they don't like my eyeballed 10 yds, they will like my stepped off line even less. I have never had a repeat request - particularly if I move the wall closer.
Thanks. The repartee around my error is funny, though. I don't mind it if I'm the source of some good humor!
Years ago, I did a game where one team turned to me on their free kick and said, "I demand that you give us our full ten yards." Since the defensive team was 15 years away, I walked it off and moved them closer!
I assigned and coordinated a large 140+ game tourney this weekend. Parents were not exactly quiet. At least 4 that I know of were sent to cars including 2 in one game by a referee who decided the best way to handle it was to show them each a red card and point to the parking lot. YMMV on that choice of action.
To add, this same tourney I found out after the fact that a referee (with several years experience) gave a PK on GK handling in the penalty area in U11. I wonder what they actually pay attention to in recerts. If anything. I suspect many now just fly through the online part as fast as they can without paying attention to anything.
I have to ask - was one of the parental red cards related to calling the penalty kick on the passback?
Nope. Two different refs. And to clarify I originally wrote pass back because I was thinking of something else. The handling was: GK collects a shot, puts the ball down as though to play it with their feet, changed their mind and picked it back up. I spoke with the coach afterwards who said he agreed 100% handling and he tried to get the ref to make the right restart happen. They wouldn’t budge. Thankfully he wasn’t upset and said it didn’t alter the outcome. I wish they were all that nice.
If a younger (or just newer) referee, I'm for it. I wish I could have done that my first year, but I was 45 then.
Young or old I think the coach needs to do it. Stopping a match and making a coach perp walk across a field to them perp walk a parent that they know off to the parking lot is a public shame. That parent belongs to the coach in the same way the players do and it’s the club and coach as the club representative that deserves that public shaming.
This is actually a good "things I heard". I had a very productive and reasoned discussion with a coach that actually is making me focus on an area we need to focus more - undercutting. Blue is attacking. There's a high ball, and Gray's defender is jumping decidedly forward for the ball, Blue is trying to judge the ball and moving backward. Since both were clearly going for the ball (Blue had no idea Gray was coming), I called it a coming together, but then called Gray for a trip as she rolled onto Blue's foot in a careless manner. Gray's bench has an outburst. After the game, Gray's coach asks me, "What did you see?" I explained what I saw. The coach thanked me and said, "I understand why you called what you called." However, after that, I told her that our discussion made me realize I need to be a lot more on the side of calling the undercutting. That's the more dangerous play, and if I'm in doubt I should make the call on the side of safety. I thanked her for the discussion and told her if I had a call to take back in that game, it would have been that call. She thanked me for being open to the discussion and said, "Hey, it's part of the game. You called a good game, and it was really the only call we had an issue with."