Two things I've done to help with these type of situations 1. In any form of check-in and again with the captains, explain that you have a slow whistle because you like to keep the game moving and reward advantage. Say that you'll come back to fouls if an advantage is not established. 2. Yell "let go!" or "don't grab!" during the leadup to the advantage. This lets the fouled player know you're seeing it and, in my experiences, tends to get the player who is grabbing to either soften their grip or completely let go. It also makes it really easy to then proceed with "Play on!" or come back to the foul They're not fool proof, but they've helped me remove (at least from my perspective) those retaliatory type moments. I also make a point in those to say "it is not your job to handle that foul, it is mine" should they retaliate. That helps a lot in a yellow to each player situation, too.
1. There is one regional I work with who says this. I personally don't think there's really a point to it because in the competition of games, no one is going to be getting fouled and say in their head "it's okay buddy, remember the ref is playing a slow whistle to watch for advantage, he'll call this". They will all still act the same way. 2. I already do all that. My main question with this situation (it has never happened to me before) wasn't advice on how to prevent it, just if it was the right/legal thing to do to issue a YC for his presumed retaliation despite going back to give the foul I should have called a second earlier. Another learning experience that I don't forsee happening again.
I remain unconvinced that players hear anything we tell them in pregame. (The only thing I include is asking them to remind their team, especially defenders, that flags are for me, not them and they shouldn’t stop play for a flag. I don’t do it because I actually expect them to do so, but so if there is a flag I wave down, I can remind them that it was discussed in the pregame. But even that I’m thinking of dropping as pointless.)
Does the referee also have to raise the AR's flag before whistling offside? He is in charge after all
I am fully convinced that don’t even remember if they elected to kick off or not. I never say anything in the pre game conference besides “Heads….Tails….call it in the air”. Ball or direction….see you in a minute.
The long pregame that referees give at u15 at the coin toss drives me insane. They aren't the leaders of their team it's just the kid the coach sent up for the toss. Don't lecture them for 2 minutes because they aren't paying attention anyway.
Yup. Don't take time to write down the captain's #, explain to them they are the 'leader of their team' , Its not 'your responsibility to keep your teammates under control' etc. You don't get any extra leeway. Like the rest of your team, if you are an ass, we'll have a problem. If you are respectful, great. We'll get along famously, even if you disagree with me.
The last level of play I actually did a pregame with players during either the check-in or the team captains at coin toss was adult leagues....and that was about 8 years ago. When I was a newbie ref and didn't know any better, I followed the advice of some (unfortunately) with the pregame. You're talking to the team captain who might actually be the most immature of the group for all you know. You're also lucky they're even listening to their names being called during check-in and some referees are actually thinking they'll remember what you said during a pre-game?
It was even worse where I started (uhh, 40+ years ago . . .) . . . we talked to both full teams together at midfield and even did things like demo TIs . . . I shudder when I think back . . .
Along these line, and a thing heard, I had a boys middle school dual a few weeks back. Green vs yellow. We were checking in green. Head referee: Who's the goalkeeper? (A kid with a red pinny on raises his hand.) Head referee: Do you know how long you can hold onto the ball? Goalkeeper: Six seconds? Head referee: Very good! How did you know that? Goalkeeper: I play a lot of FIFA.
PIAA mandates us to recite a "sportsmanship" to captains and coaches before each game. It's silly, both for the referee who has to recite it a billion times and for the coaches and captains who have to (pretend to) listen to it a billion times and affirm the players are properly equipped. I'm sure the captains relay the sportsmanship message to their team before each game, and we are not just wasting our time.
A while back, I was team teaching a referee class in a distant part of the state, essentially an upgrade to 7, high school sub-varsity to varsity training type of thing. There was a very self confident guy in the class whom we knew as the high school commissioner (i.e. assignor) in that part of the state, who will always remind you that he is a NISOA referee (in a part of the world where small, liberal arts D3 schools are the highest level of soccer.) My partner, the SDI, is talking about the meeting with the captains. When he pauses, the commissioner guy pipes up about how the players need to know "how he's going to call the game." "Now, you might not want to do that....." "Oh, no. They need to know!" A high school girl in the class, who was going to be playing tiny college soccer that fall says, "When you guys talk like that, we aren't listening." Drop the mic. At one time, the NCAA rules specified some things that the referee was supposed to address with the captains at the coin toss. Not swearing and not violently fouling the goalkeeper while they were in possession of the ball come to mind. I worked a few times with an excellent referee, who had been the first person to have the whistle for the NCAA D1 national women's championship two years in a row. Her way of handling it was to wait until the captains were walking away. Then she would say in a soft voice, "oh, and don't swear.' I always found it interesting that, when the NCAA rules committee took that out of the rule book, it was never announced as a rule change.
On rare occasion, I might ask a "captain" to pass along a message to coaches -- home teams in most leagues here are responsible for game balls, so I might ask the captain to ask the coach to toss one out if I don't already have one. Aside from that -- at the ages I ref, the "captain" is just whoever the coach sent out to do the coin toss that day.
We are supposed to mention sportsmanship at the coin toss in Alabama. One center said "All I want is three Rs. Respect for the officials, respect for each other, and respect for the game." One players said "What about respect the coaches." CR said "I don't care if you respect the coaches or not. Not my concern."
I coached u10 boys this last year I had a very well intentioned ref who took 10 mins at check in to go over all the laws and how they were modified for their age. The boys tune out after 15 seconds every single time.
I actually do this if I have to do a full size, supposed to be full crew game solo. I call both entire teams with coaches to midfield (either center circle or touch line), explain the situation, and ask the teams to please respect each other, me as the referee, and the game as a whole. It seems to work decently as a way to make sure everyone is on the same page and the games go pretty smoothly. But yeah the captain stuff is BS. I tried telling them to help manage their players before the refs have to. Cautions were piling up and they don't do crap. And then pregame check-in all I do is ask them to be properly equipped and keeping subs organized especially if we have to record them. I used to tell them "if it's your set piece, you don't need a whistle unless we stopped the game. If it's not, leave the ball and give distance". They don't listen to that so I scrapped it too.
I was at a tourney one time. Probably U13 or 14. Second or third game of the day. CR goes...Ok, we're going to play a game of soccer and we're going to use a ball...and I don't remember what he said after that because I stopped listening. Thankfully I dont believe I worked with that individual again
I don’t know how many times I’ve seen my son’s coaches have a 10 minute post game talk with the team, only to get to the car and ask him what they talked about after the game - blank stare, shrug and ‘I dunno’ ♂️
A friend of mine was coaching a boys ODP team. After the game, the state director of coaching came over to "talk to the boys." The DOC had a very heavy Dublin accent. After he walked away, the confused boys asked my friend "What did he say, coach?" "He said you played like crap."
Parents do the same thing. I’ve posted this before, but I think this Ted Talk should be mandatory viewing for all parents who have kids playing sports.
to be fair, when I've had regional referee's get roped into doing a u9 or u10 game, they tend to struggle because the game is so chaotic to what they're used to...
New York High School also has a sportsmanship card that is supposed to be read at every game for every sport. In NY, we use a dual referee system for all regular season games so I usually have my partner read the card. One time, I had a partner give a 10 minute pregame talk to the captains. I lost track of what he was saying so I know that the kids did too.
There is a story that floats around about a FIFA ref being a nice guy and doing a 12U game. Fifteen minutes in, he calls over his teenage AR and tells her to take the whistle and he takes her flag, as he decides she is more in tune with that game than he is. I rarely do anything below 14U anymore, and it is definitely a challenge to calibrate to those younger games, especially if I've just done an older game.
I'm that partner who just starts with the eye rolls when the lecturing of the captains starts. Its usually not the soccer referees that do it. Its the multi-sport officals. And don't get me started with the New State High School Athletic Association requires... reading.