Roy Keane Rhapsody i.e to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody. Mama, I just kicked a man. There's a screw loose in my head, Because I tried to break his leg, Fergie, the seasons just begun, But now I've gone and thrown it all away! Forlan! Ooh -ooh - ooh, Makes me want to sigh! We'd score more goals with Sid James or Kenneth Williams, Carry On, Camping, The whole teams just in tatters. Too late, my crime is done, Tried to mangle Alfies spine, Now he's aching all the time, Goodbye Mick McCarthy, I've got to go, Got to leave the squad behind, cos I'm a t**t! Veron! Ooh -ooh - ooh He doesn't seem to try, I sometimes wish he'd never been bought at all. (guitar solo) (Opera Section) I see a little packaged sandwich filled with prawns, LAURENT BLANC! LAURENT BLANC! HE'S JUST SLOW, OLD AND USELESS! Brown & Neville fighting, very very frightening indeed!!! WHERE IS RIO?, Where is Rio?, WHERE IS RIO?, Where is Rio?, Because Laurents far too slow! He's far too slow-ow-ow-ow-ow..... I'm just a head-case, nobody loves me! HE'S JUST A HEADCASE, WALKED OUT ON, HIS COUNTRY! SPARE US THE WHINES FROM HIS GAFFER IF YOU PLEASE! Here it comes, Open goal - Forlan must score. HE WILL NOT! No! He's simply got to score! HE WILL NOT, NEVER, EVER SCORE! No! He's simply got to score! HE WILL NOT, NEVER, EVER SCORE! NEVER, EVER SCORE, NEVER, EVER SCORE, NEVER, EVER SCORE......... NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Oh where is Rio? where is Rio ? Has he really stubbed his toe ? Beelzebub take the Nevilles from my side, Oh Please ? Oh Please, Oh Pleeeeeeeaaaase? (Guitar riff) So you think that I punch refs and spit in their eyes? Would I kick Alan Shearer and leave him to die? Oh baby, Even though I seem crazy, I'm Roy the Red, rich, thick and madder each year. (Slow bit)
I've come to the conclusion that it's more pitiful that I took the time to even respond to this, than it is pitiful somebody spent any time writing that crap.
I think it's freaking hilarious. You try writing something like that Motterman. Funky, did you write that yourself, or get it somewhere else? And, just to piss off Motterman some more: THE DAY TAB RAMOS SIGNED (To the tune of "American Pie") A long long time ago I can still remember how the Cosmos used to play But some billionaire's saw their chance Knew they could make us supporters dance And maybe we'd be happy for awhile Charlie's mustache seemed to quiver With every foreigner he delivered Bad news on the doorstep Lothar wants one more cap I can't remember if I sighed When I saw Lothar's teenage bride But something hurt me deep inside The day Tab Ramos signed Did you dial the call-in show Did you complain on the radio And have the DJ tell you where to go Do you believe what Subotnick said It's not the same crap all over again When Vega was too fat and real slow We all knew Sunil was in love with him But not with Kerry Zavagnin The match kicked off to boos Man, I dug Sasa's tatoos There was a lonely fan in the upper deck Hiding his face with a paper sack Because he knew he was out of luck The day Tab Ramos signed He started singin' {Refrain} Bye, bye Nansha Kalonji Drove my Chevy over Leahy And Leahy just died Them borough boys were dissin' Foudy and Ty Singing this will be the day that I die For ten year's we'd been on our own Til the Metros came to Hoffa's home When El Ferry played in New Jersey In a kit he borrowed from Pele And moves that stunned you & me Oh, and while the Kluge was looking down Donadoni snuck out of town Metros supporters were spurned While its players got carpet burns Do you recall who was the narc When the quartet practiced in the park And we drank Guinness in the dark The day Tab Ramos signed We were singing {Refrain} What the hell's this silly crap Some lawyers call the "Super Draft" Sasa's high and rollin' fast Oh, Tanque's shot landed in the stands The Galaxy ventured a forward pass But Palacios put Cobi in a cast The halftime restrooms need more ventilation No toilet paper's an aggravation We all queued up to piss And the floor was wet cause some guy missed When the players tried to take the field The cheerleaders refused to yield Who won the Supporter's Shield? The day Tab Ramos signed We started singing {Refrain} There were forwards with no pace And midfielders with no sense of space With no time left to start again Lexi be nimble, Lexi be quick Meola ate all my sausage sticks While Branco took some savage kicks And as I watched Diaz-Arce on the tube I screamed in rage, "We were screwed!" No angel born in hell Could break Stillitano's spell And as the score reached 0-8 I saw Satan laughing with delight The day Tab Ramos signed He was singing {Refrain} I met an Ultra who hurled abuse And I asked him for some allocation news He just slurred and stumbled away I went down to the Jersey shore Where I'd seen footy played before But security said the drummers couldn't play And in the stands the children screamed While supporters cried, and their parents dreamed But not a word was spoken Young Americans were just tokens And the three players I admire most Ezra, Roy and Gio's ghost They got traded by the dolts The day Tab Ramos signed And they were singing {Refrain} -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (c) 2000 By Preston McMurry Brew City FA http://www.execpc.com/~pvmiii/brewcity/brewcity.html Distribute freely. Just don't change it or remove my credit. This is my ticket to being an internet soccer legend and I don't want to miss out!
Lets all do the keano! No Lads, unfortunately not! As motte says its been printed else where. I received it at work from some mates (who are great united fans) they thought it was classic as well and with the way Roy is going at the moment it is quite fitting one thinks! Have you all seen the latest news? ‘The Sun’ newspaper has released another extract from Roy’s book, and in this quote he says ‘that he deliberately stamped on Garth Southgate during the 1995 FA Cup semi final against Crystal Palace because he was in his way?’ The bloke has lost it! Hes on a one way ticket to life long ban from the FA! A great football player who seems to have snapped? or is he just like any other player who has just admitted what goes on when the players are out there? I personally don’t think that every player is as dirty as ‘Roy the Red’, take a look at Gary Lineker? Could you see him stamping on a defender for being in his way? Funki )
I imagine 8-year old Keene probably elbowed gramps when he didn't get what he wanted for Christmas ...
Before coming down to the breakfast cave every morning, Osama bin Laden would look into his magical mirror and ask, "Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the worst, the baddest of them all?" The mirror would reply, "You are Osama". The Lord of Terror would smile a grim smile, give silent thanks to his God and begin his day. Not a day went by when he wouldn't ask the mirror, and every day the mirror would confirm his question. Yes, he was in fact, the biggest arsehole of them all. One day, however, Osama arrived at the breakfast table with a a quivering rage on his face. His eyes bulged, his fists clenched and unclenched, he paced across the room looking as if he as about to explode! One of his eleven wives finally summoned up the courage to ask him, "What's wrong Osama?" Osama replied, "Who the FUCK!! is Roy Keane!?!?"
It's a joke, you hapless shitwit. Do you get some form of endorphin charge from being a sulky little wannabe Manc tosspot?
No they haven't. The Scouser and the wannabe nobodies from the other side of the planet have started. Motterman wouldn't know a Manc if he really did have Gary Neville's dick in his mouth. Motty - why don't you go off and take a look at this, then come back to me and give me some more of your moral lectures, you spineless, thick hypocrit. This man is your God
Because he's an abject moron. Only an insanely thick person would fail to appreciate that, if anything, that joke is a parody of the vilification of Roy Keane. Only someone whose smack wouldn't wake a baby would try and turn this into an issue of disrespect for the aftermath of the World Trade Centre attacks.
Ho-ho-ho keep 'em coming. If you can't see what a tosspot Clark is, I can't help you. The venom he spouts is truly something to behold, especially when you compare how much he talks about us, rather than his own club. But that's to be expected from pikey cnuts like that...
It's not about "them", you sad little man. It's never been about "them". "Them" and I live in happy harmony here in the Northwest of England. I've got one of "them" sat next to me as I type. He thinks you're as much fun sport as I do. This is about gimpy little despos with "us" delusions and the very great amusement that is to be had from winding you up. Successfully. Constantly.
Obsessed with what? You? ROFL! You do make me laugh. I either help myself to some laughs whenever you show up, or you even provide them for me. Comedy gold.
I dont need your help I am in denial! And that is not a river in Egypt! Pikey? Matt, do you live in a caravan?