The quintessential 'ugly American' leaving the country

Discussion in 'Food & Travel' started by amerifolklegend, Mar 7, 2003.

Page 1 of 4
  1. amerifolklegend

    amerifolklegend Member

    Jul 21, 1999
    Oakley, America
    #1 amerifolklegend, Mar 7, 2003
    That's right, 3rd world, I'm invading you in May.

    England, I suggest you be on high alert, as many a terrorist in many a land has it out for me. I shall hide from nobody, and walk freely among the dirty people for a few days. My flight is booked and my passport is ready. The United Kingdom better be ready for me.

    Does anyone have an American-to-English dictionary I can borrow?
     
  2. SoFla Metro

    SoFla Metro Member

    Jul 21, 2000
    Ft. Lauderdale, FL
    #2 SoFla Metro, Mar 7, 2003
    Just assume they're making fun of you and give everybody a good cockpunch.
     
  3. HalaMadrid

    HalaMadrid Member

    Apr 9, 1999
    #3 HalaMadrid, Mar 7, 2003
    Uh oh.

    France has changed its status to "White Flag Alert".

    This is an upgrade from...well..."White Flag Alert".

    The armistice papers granting you control of the country will await you upon landing on UK soil.
     
  4. amerifolklegend

    amerifolklegend Member

    Jul 21, 1999
    Oakley, America
    #4 amerifolklegend, Mar 7, 2003
    Re: Re: The quintessential 'ugly American' leaving the country

    I shall use the advice my father handed down to me on travelling abroad:

    If they don't understand you, repeat yourself s-l-o-w-e-r and LOUDER.

    If they still don't understand you, they're just imbeciles.
     
  5. nicodemus

    nicodemus Member+

    Sep 3, 2001
    Cidade Mágica
    Club:
    PAOK Saloniki
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    #5 nicodemus, Mar 7, 2003
    I might have to drive all the way to Ohio just for a drink in your bar for this one. :D
     
  6. amerifolklegend

    amerifolklegend Member

    Jul 21, 1999
    Oakley, America
    #6 amerifolklegend, Mar 7, 2003
    :D Hee hee hee.

    We'll be staying North of London, as the only two hotels that met my approval in London were on the South Side of the city. And since you can actually smell france's stink through the chunnel if you're on the South side of London, I quickly nixed both of those places.
     
  7. Jeff

    Jeff Member

    Apr 14, 1999
    Alexandria, NOVA
    #7 Jeff, Mar 7, 2003
    Please bring me back a case of cask conditioned ale. Thanks.
     
  8. amerifolklegend

    amerifolklegend Member

    Jul 21, 1999
    Oakley, America
    #8 amerifolklegend, Mar 7, 2003
    I will have plenty of room in my suitcases for it. I am bringing only a limited amount of clothing and filling all the unused space with toothpaste to hand out to all the little boys and girls in England as a gesture of goodwill from their American big brothers and sisters.

    I will then explain to them exactly what it is.
     
  9. HalaMadrid

    HalaMadrid Member

    Apr 9, 1999
    #9 HalaMadrid, Mar 7, 2003
    Brian, you MUST go to an Arsenal game while in London if for nothing else than the pure comedy value of such a trip.

    Take lots of photographs.
     
  10. amerifolklegend

    amerifolklegend Member

    Jul 21, 1999
    Oakley, America
    #10 amerifolklegend, Mar 7, 2003
    I'm currently awaiting word on if I can get tickets to a game - any game - while I'm there. I get in on a Wednesday afternoon and the wedding I'm going to is on a Saturday afternoon/evening an hour north of London so my options are limited at best.
     
  11. fidlerre

    fidlerre Member+

    Oct 10, 2000
    Central Ohio
    #11 fidlerre, Mar 7, 2003
    you need me to watch your bar while you are gone? :D
     
  12. amerifolklegend

    amerifolklegend Member

    Jul 21, 1999
    Oakley, America
    #12 amerifolklegend, Mar 7, 2003
    Heh heh heh.

    no.
     
  13. fidlerre

    fidlerre Member+

    Oct 10, 2000
    Central Ohio
    #13 fidlerre, Mar 7, 2003
    how about i watch one bottle of scotch for ya?
     
  14. amerifolklegend

    amerifolklegend Member

    Jul 21, 1999
    Oakley, America
    #14 amerifolklegend, Mar 7, 2003
    Places I plan on visiting that aren't pubs:

    Belgos
    Wagamama
    Speaker's Corner. (is that what it's called? I can't remember - it's been a while since I was over there last.)
     
  15. CHICO13

    CHICO13 Moderator
    Staff Member

    Oct 4, 2001
    SECTION 135
    Club:
    The Strongest La Paz
    Nat'l Team:
    Bolivia
    #15 CHICO13, Mar 7, 2003
    Hey, aren't the Brits about the only allies we have left? ;)
     
  16. amerifolklegend

    amerifolklegend Member

    Jul 21, 1999
    Oakley, America
    #16 amerifolklegend, Mar 7, 2003
    In all honesty, I don't sell any scotch that is worth drinking. We just don't get many scotch drinkers in there. We have Queen Anne (our well), JWred, Chevis, JB, and White Label, but that's it.
     
  17. amerifolklegend

    amerifolklegend Member

    Jul 21, 1999
    Oakley, America
    #17 amerifolklegend, Mar 7, 2003
    Not for long. :D
     
  18. fidlerre

    fidlerre Member+

    Oct 10, 2000
    Central Ohio
    #18 fidlerre, Mar 7, 2003
    okay then, you have any good malt liquors?
     
  19. amerifolklegend

    amerifolklegend Member

    Jul 21, 1999
    Oakley, America
    #19 amerifolklegend, Mar 7, 2003
    Heh heh heh.

    Contradiction of terms, ain't it?
     
  20. amerifolklegend

    amerifolklegend Member

    Jul 21, 1999
    Oakley, America
    #20 amerifolklegend, Mar 7, 2003
    The best thing about England - at least from the last time I was there - is that they still used the blue styrofoam containers for their Filet-O-Fishes at McDonald's.

    That's awesome.
     
  21. fidlerre

    fidlerre Member+

    Oct 10, 2000
    Central Ohio
    #21 fidlerre, Mar 7, 2003
    true.

    what is the name of your place AFL?

    you can PM me if you dont wanna post it.
     
  22. CrewToon

    CrewToon Member

    Jun 13, 1999
    Greenbrier Farm
    #22 CrewToon, Mar 7, 2003
    I'd be surprised should AFL not be able to worm his way into Highbury. :)
     
  23. CHICO13

    CHICO13 Moderator
    Staff Member

    Oct 4, 2001
    SECTION 135
    Club:
    The Strongest La Paz
    Nat'l Team:
    Bolivia
    #23 CHICO13, Mar 7, 2003
    That and Liz Hurley, ummm...That's about it.
     
  24. ElJefe

    ElJefe Moderator
    Staff Member

    Feb 16, 1999
    Colorful Colorado
    Club:
    FC Dallas
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    #24 ElJefe, Mar 7, 2003
    The thing that shocks me most about this thread is that AFL spelled "quintessential" correctly.
     
  25. amerifolklegend

    amerifolklegend Member

    Jul 21, 1999
    Oakley, America
    #25 amerifolklegend, Mar 7, 2003
    I'm glad someone finally gave me credit for that. :D

    If it's in a thread title, I actually will look up the spelling on anything that's questionable.

    In a regular post, however...
     
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