Fantastic thread that I had stuck in my mind coming home today from playing. Bobby Ball-Changer This guy insists that the ball be changed every time he plays, even if said ball is an optimally inflated, neutral, match ball that everyone else agrees is perfect. Typically calls for the change after he takes a horrible touch unrelated to the specifics of the ball and substitutes an over-inflated $8 Voit rock for the dreamy-creamy ball that was in use.
that indirectly reminds me of a pain in the ass who's been in our group for years now, a multiple of the different PPYMIH already cited. he also has a fixation on field dimensions. after it's all set up and we start playing he decides it's too wide... then a couple of latecomers show up and it needs to be longer. then longer again. which means it also needs to go back to the original width. and of course for him the goals are always too small because he likes big scores. and he does all the changes while play is going on without getting an opinion (which would naturally be "JUST ACT NORMAL AND PLAY FFS!!!"). it even happens that someone is going to shoot and there's mr. OCD with the goal cones in his hands. we ought to make a rule that when this happens, hitting him right in the huevos counts double.
I hate the guy who i will call... Tommy Tricks-A-Lot. Listen here you flog, you dont need to try a billion step overs, try and nutmeg everyone and play the impossible pass EVERYTIME YOU GET THE ********ING BALL. HOW ABOUT YOU JUST CONCENTRATE ON YOUR SHIT FIRST TOUCH, AND THEN DO THE SIMPLY THINGS BRILLIANTLY INSTEAD OF THE BRILLIANT THINGS SHITTILY.
Larry Loose Lips was one I knew in school, talked a BIG game pre match then got shown up as a poser who could do the occasional step over.
I never understood why people get so upset about this. I've never seen a game that was cancelled because someone didn't have both a dark and a white shirt.
...And now me as well.... Took my son to a local park to just kick the ball around and take some shots, as he loves playing GK. Next thing I know, he's rounding out the roster in an impromptu 6v6 game. Told him no one was gonna go easy on him (while secretly hoping they might), and he just smiled. Gotta say he handled himself admirably; went in hard, came out sliding a couple of times, etc.
Half-Ass Harry. If their chronic resting bitch face is not enough, they never learned that soccer is a competition where two opponents compete to bring the best out of each other. They lack complete grasp of the concept of serious fun and prefer to keep it mellow. They dont close down on defense, they display no urgency, and generally bring the level of play down despite the fact that they often have decent touch on the ball. Then they wonder why they get two footed.
the worst is the guy who one week is one, the next week the other. we have one of those, who is without doubt one of the 2-3 best players we ever have in our extended group. so you obviously build one team around him. and if he's on one of his "i can't be bothered" mornings it's a slaughter.
Franky Faff About today, pass the ball to him, and all he has to do is look up and put it into space for a striker to run onto, instead holds onto the ball for what feels like an eternity to make the wrong decision which usually leads to the ball going out into touch. Bonus points if it goes out off him.
That's one guy I play pickup with. He's always either the best player on the field or the worst player on the field, nothing in between. On his good days he's an instinctive goalscorer with plenty of speed to burn, great touch, and good enough vision to see when someone has a better look at goal than him, and makes good runs into space all day and tracks back and defends too. On his bad days, he hangs around in front of his own goal, doesn't close down anyone, just halfheartedly tries to block shots, and every time the ball goes to him he just hoofs it upfield.
We just started an adult rec co-ed league. Made up of mostly AYSO coaches around the age of 40. Some in good shape. Some with good skill. Not many with both. My team is just there for a good time. While we have some decent players, I wouldn't say that we have any "ringers." Team we played last night had Joy Fawcett on it. Another team has a player that was in the Womens United Soccer League in 2000. Another team has a Serbian National Futsal Team at the age of 15 and then played with the New York Express and San Diego Sockers. There was also a younger girl (mid 20's) last night that was lightning fast and the dirtiest player I have seen. Must have stomped on at least 4 sets of toes last night, elbowed a guy in the face and whined every time someone got near her. 50/50 ball, guy on my team lets up and she tries to run through him. She bounces off and starts swearing at everyone around her.
I've often heard in our town that the co-ed league has the most fights. The typical scenario goes girl hacks guy (either in retaliation or not). Guy hacks girl (either in retaliation or not). Girl gets mad. Boyfriend or husband comes to her defense. Fistfights galore.
+1000 I don't even mind Hall-Ass Harry if he passes. If someone two-foots me in a pickup game, I'm going to stomp. My nemesis is a sub-species of Tommy Tricks-a-lot. Tries to dribble everyone, at all times, and would try to beat three guys and dribble the keeper before making a simple square ball for you to tap into the goal. Spends the rest of the game grazing and giving teammates looks of disgust whenever he screws up or a teammate passes to someone else. His acts of disgust and dramatic reactions when he's dispossessed will increase in intensity if he recently watched Cristiano Ronaldo play for Portugal. Sounds awesome. I might have to join one just for the entertainment value.