Alert: The Maps Thread

Came to post the exact same thing. My married life is dealing with towns that have dueling Family Dollars and Dollar Generals across the street. So we go to the co-op, which is up by the airport and the ********ing prison... where I have to go every morning because there's no flight that gets in to Kinross except 2 times a day. And usually before I'm up. And the entire ********ing idea is that this is the exciting thing for the day.

The cheese and beef jerky selection is not great, and they'd really attack me for that hard time.
Oh I'm really looking forward to the holidays.

I hope folks understand this is why I will always defend them. I know - I look like them. I'm not them. Let's freaking go, together!

 

The year between college and grad school, I lived at home with my mom. She had to work on Halloween so I fulfilled the role of 1) giving out the candy and 2) keeping track of how many trick or treaters came by on a piece of scratch paper.

It had been a rough past year for my mom: my Dad died 10 months before, and her mother, who had been living with us, had a series of strokes that landed her in a nursing home very recently.

We had a record number of trick or treaters, obliterating the previous record. With ten minutes to go on the allotted time, we ran out of candy. And yet, maybe a dozen kids were coming into the yard before I could turn out the light. What could young master Wankler do to insure that he sent no one way with nothing?

Well, the freezer was full of frozen food my grandma liked. So I gave out frozen chicken and beef pot pies and about a half dozen Hungry Man TV dinners. The kids were like, "uh, thanks." I mean on the one hand, it wasn't candy. On the other hand, it was a huge haul.

I turned off the light, tallied up the total (it was around 120 kids) and headed out to a movie. Mom came home and was really upset at my skillful emptying of the freezer. About a week later she came home from bingo and said, "I hope you're happy." I'm like. . . well, reasonably so, WTF?

"Mrs. Crane told everyone at bingo that someone gave her grandchild a chicken pot pie for Halloween. Everyone was shocked. I was embarrassed. What would I have done if they knew it was from our house?"

I can't remember what I said, but I suspect I pointed out that Mrs. Crane was such a well known looney you could have denied it.

 

That's what I said on Halloween night. It wasn't good enough.

 

Having watched the Charlie Brown halloween episode it is pretty obvious what the solution was - give them each a rock!

 

A coworker lives in a Union County town where there's one long block that half the kids in town descend upon on Halloween. He showed me a pic of a friend of his and it was two big folding tables piled high with candy and he had more in the house. No Dollar General dog poop

Pro tip - Costco has giant bags for like $20

 

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Wlm-H-Ast-250ct-70-54oz-Dsp-4/15907362421?classType=VARIANT

70oz (250 pieces) Hershey's assortment at Walmart for $25.

 

I’ve seen multiple versions of this kind of map and this is probably the most accurate I’ve seen, at least as far as the areas I’m familiar with go (though I don’t know if I’d lump the North Coast of California in with Jefferson).

 

When Spassapparat was 14, Halloween had finally sort of made its way to Austria, so for the first and only time, he and some buddies went trick-or-treating. Some of the houses were prepared with candy to hand out, but not all. One guy felt bad leaving them empty handed, so he gave them a 6-pack of beer. As one does.

 

compare the map to this dialect map. Obviously not identical but some similarities.



https://aschmann.net/AmEng/#LargeMap3Left

 

Cultural regions, not necessarily physical. I’ve only been to a couple Hawaiian islands (Big Island and Kauai) and they felt very similar, and very different from any other part of the US I’ve been to.

 

Billionaires by university

 

Oahu is a different world from most of the rest of Hawaii. I've lived on Molokai and in Honolulu, and the only similarity is the weather.

 

All I'll say is that I am eternally grateful for the fact that social media and smartphones did not exist when I was a young, stupid college kid.

 

We had a little stage and a stripper pole in the living room. As glad as I am that scant evidence of my debauchery exists, I do wish that I had more than my internal highlight reel of memories.

 

Film photography was bad enough.

 

The struggle is real, we are now prepared, but when the euro invasion of that commercialized U.S. holiday first commenced, we were caught off guard the first year our hood had trick or treaters. Thankfully I have a bit of a sweet tooth, otherwise we'd have had a lot of disappointed kids at our door.

 

I'm glad that all, or at least most, of the VHS tapes from high school are gone.

 

There was VHS evidence of our lacrosse team getting hammered and going out in the woods, in the snow, and taking the end caps off the butts of our sticks to use them as launchers for a bottle rocket fight.