The Man U/Arsenal "brawl"

The Daily Express says: "Arsenal are facing 20-match ban over shameful Sunday. The players could face a combined 20-match ban for their part in the brawl at Old Trafford on Sunday."

The Daily Star reports on Patrick Vieira's amazing threat to Ruud van Nistelrooy

Ian Wright has shocked his former club Arsenal by blasting the Gunners for their harsh treatment of Manchester United's Ruud van Nistelrooy, in an exclusive report in the Daily Star.

Brawl? Amazing threat? Harsh? I have to admit that I'm a bit surprised and dissapointed at the shock and outrage expressed by the British press.

I mean, I sat down to watch the game on replay last night and was ready for some real fireworks. But all they did was bitchslap him in the back of the head a couple of times. It didn't even seem to bother Ruud that much. He merely looked a bit bemused, like Gregg Louganis after a good ass-slapping in the sauna.

So does all this overreaction suggest the English have lost their edge? I remember the good old days when an English "brawl" usually included a knife, a Turkish flag, and a .76 alcohol blood level. Where shaved heads, flack jackets, and a Leeds chant were all you needed to guarantee a paddy wagon and 12 soiled hospital beds. When a jealous Europe banned you not because you were the only one that brawled, but because you were the one that brawled best.

Have you really turned your back on that legacy, England, that tradition? Is the FA really going to dock points and hand out multiple-match bans because a couple of frogs gave a diving horse from the Netherlands (and after what they did to Ann Frank!) his due? Are you really prepared to do permanent insult and irreparable damage to the great art of brawlery, an art that you perfected?

Say it ain't so, England. Say it ain't so.