Okay, so many times out of the mouths of goofy sports announcers do you hear the words, "the gods of (insert sport here) smiled upon them, and the (insert team name here) pulled off an amazing comeback." Or something like that. So, imagine that there is such a thing as the gods of sport. If you were the god (or goddess) of soccer, what would you use your incredible cosmic powers to achieve. Myself, I would do this. I would invade the minds of all the people in the US who love soccer, but don't support US teams, all the eurosnobs, mexican soccer snobs, etc., and I would plant the thought in their head that they should support their local MLS team, because if they all did so, in a matter of no time, their local team could be competitive with the likes of Real Madrid, Man U, and the rest. It's so amazing what a load of money coming in can buy you. Look at the Yankees and the Lakers and see.
I'm not sure if the people of BS should be trusted with the power you are attempting to give them here. This could get SCARY.
and look at the marlins and pistons to see you don't need a boatload of money to win. anyway if I was the allah of soccer, i would put myself in at forward for USA and score the winning goal at the world cup 2006 final and I'd be in commercials and date supermodels. well I already date supermodels but in this fantasy i'd be dating swedish supermodels. then i'd buy bigsoccer and ban all the idiots, leaving only 6 members. and also i'd promote world peace by telling everyone we don't need to fight eachother, we need to focus on the real enemy: martians.
In select derby games (LA-SJ etc...) I'd outfit both teams with steel-toed boots, and take the referee's whistle and cards away. Needless to say this would be me playing the role of spiteful soccer god. Being the benevolent one would be boring.
as soccergod, i'd take on the form of heather mitts' sports bra and defer all soccer related decisions to saint sigi.
There are some vengeful people on here. Hmmm as Yahweh, God, Allah, Buddha, the Almighty One, the Higher Power, Zeus... I'd have David Beckham serving Gatorade to MLS players, Greece would win the Euro Cup (ok I had a little something to do with that), DC United will win MLS Cup 2004 (just wait and see), and MLS will become the premiere soccer league in the world. Hmm... Can’t be too far off, I guess I have until infinity to make it happen, after all I am "Yahweh, God, Allah, Buddha, the Almighty One, the Higher Power, Zeus!"
Soccer-specific stadiums for every current and expansion soccer team in the U.S. (MLS, A-League, etc.), all paid in full. -G
And in My Benevolence: A full house in San Jose every home game regardless of where they play (Up THE Rivalry)
If I were the God of Soccer I would banish club teams to the depths of hell and international soccer would reign supreme!