The All-American XI: Week 29

The “Debates” Edition. The nation sat rapt at attention this week and watched an event that may well determine the shape of short-term history, as contenders vied for position in the public mind. We speak, of course, about the final week of the MLS “Regular” season. With us to wrap up the final week, as well as preview the playoffs, we have assembled many of the nation’s finest soccer journalists. We also invited some other guys.

MODERATOR JIM LEHRER: Thank you, and welcome to the first-ever MLS post-season debate. Due to network standards this debate will be implementing the five-second delay. Our first question goes to Mr. Jeff Bradley.

JEFF BRADLEY: OK, here are my First XI reasons why the Dallas Burn will win MLS Cup this year. Number XI is Eddie…

LEHRER: Jeff, although we respect your right and inclination to choose the Burn each and every year, surely you must be aware that the Burn was eliminated this weekend. Apparently Eddie Johnson used up too many of his goals playing for the Nats. Feel free to pick the Burn next year, too; I’ll even give you 1,000:1 odds.

The next question goes to Mr. Eric Wynalda: DC United clinched home-field advantage this weekend against the Metros, who will actually be their first-round opponent. The question is: How does this affect Freddy Adu.

WYNALDA: First, you shall address me as “Hall of Famer Eric Wynalda.”

LEHRER: I’m not apologizing to you, punk.

WYNALDA: What people don’t realize is that I was WAY more important to the development of US Soccer than Freddy Adu. Maybe if I had been born in Ghana, or manufactured a phony age controversy…

LEHRER: I’m sorry, your time is up.

WYNALDA: The red light isn’t flashing.

LEHRER: Electrical difficulties. Besides, no one wants to hear you finish that sentence.

The next question goes to Mr. Sean Wheelock. The Wizards got a goal from Josh Wolff to clinch home-field. Are they healthy enough to win MLS Cup?

WHEELOCK: I’m from Kansas City. I like soccer. I’ll just sit here and defer to “Harkesy.”

HARKES: Thanks, Sean. Jim, here’s what I think about the Wizards chances for MLS Cup 2004, after a season that saw them lose last year’s MVP, Preki Radosavljevic, as well as this year’s potential MVP, Chris Klein, to injury, plus Tony Meola and Igor Simutenkov, but my man Bobby Gansler knows how to pull a team together, make them work, keep them trying hard, play solid defense, organize the squad, make a good game pla…

LEHRER: My God, you can go on even longer than Wynalda.

HARKES: Funny, that’s what his wif… *beeeeeeep*

TRECKER: May I interject? Kansas City better win this year, because I have it on good authority that they’re moving to a new Anschutz-built facility on Mars. I read it in a fortune cookie.

LEHRER: I’m relatively sure you weren’t invited.

The final question goes to Mr. Paul Gardner. The Revolution pulled out a late win to eliminate the Fire from the playoffs. Was that game just to determine who would get crushed by the streaking Crew?

GARDNER: You’ve got to be kidding. Look at the Crew’s starting lineup. Not a single Hispanic on the squad. They’ll never be able to make a run through the playoffs like that.

LEHRER: I’d like to throw it to Kenn Tommasch for some closing comments.

TOMMASCH: I’d just like to say that I found tonight’s debate both informative and validating. Exactly what American soccer fans should refuse to listen to in droves. By the way, attendance for tonight’s debate was 15,936, which is 14% above the median for a Monday in October. Adjusted for the Freddy factor, that’s as expected.

LEHRER: Well, that’s going to have to do it for our MLS Post-Season Preview Deb…

KERRY: Hey, wait, don’t we get to say something?

BUSH: Yeah, I thought the debates were our chance to talk to the American people.

LEHRER: Sorry, Mr. President, no. Frankly, we’re all sick of both of you. Have your election; nobody gives a *beeeeeeep* at this point; especially me, because I’ve got Metros Playoff Fever. Though I’m told that it’s very likely to be cured in either DC Land or through the prescription of…ahem…let me see if I get this right, “more cowbell.” **


How about the “Forwards, we don’t need no stinkin’ forwards” Edition? Yes sports fans, this week not a single forward made the list, but the midfield is pretty damn strong, especially since there are eight (8) guys in it. I guess the lineup is something along the lines of a Frankensteinesque 2-4-4-0. Now technically the two of the first four can help out on defense, and two of the second four can, and have played, forward.

In addition to another crazy formation, we have an announcement to make. The AAXI is proud to announce that Eddie Gaven is the winner of the ‘Golden Eddie’ award for being the most nominated Eddie in the league. On related notes, Steve Ralston wins the ‘Silver Stevie,’ Jim Curtin edged out Jimmy Conrad for the “Bronze Jimmy,’ and Freddy Adu wins the newly renamed and sponsored ‘Budweiser Freddy.’ Congratulations to all of them.

• Henry Ring (4) Despite the loss he made some good saves and some great saves. The Revs knocked on the doorstep all night and Ring did everything he could to keep them out of the net. In the end it wasn’t enough as everyone who has played this games knows, it takes more than one guy to win a game.

• Jim Curtin (6) Despite being one of the goofier looking guys in MLS, you have to love his game. He spent his day winning balls in the air and disrupting play through the middle of the final third, making the Revs work for everything they have. He did what he could to keep Twellman in check and just had one of his typical solid games. He played every minute in every game for the Fire, and it’s obvious why he was an All-Star.

• Jimmy Conrad (5) Kept under pressure all game by LA, but stood his ground and helped KC finish with a shutout. He'll probably lose defender of the year to Fraiser, but Jimmy had a career season, with performances like this one game in and game out. With him continuing to play as he has, KC is the team to beat.

• Chris Wingert (1) Another piece of the Crew's incredible SuperDraft. Wingert is the perfect winger for this team, serving in excellent crosses, and as the season has gone along he's shown an incredible ability to take a defender on one-v-one and beat him along the wing. He did it countless times against Colorado and looks to be ready for the playoffs with his offensive and defensive abilities.

• Steve Ralston (7) In the end, the only thing that needs to be said is that his goal got the Revs through to the playoffs. That alone earns him a nomination, however, there’s more to the guy than that. Like Mulrooney for the Quakes, and Armas for the Fire, Ralston is one of these unflashy guys who serves as the glue for his team. Some think Ralston should be a candidate for MVP, and they aren’t off base in the least. When you look at the Revs close games, Ralston seems to be the one who always finds a way to keep them in the games or even win them. Last night, he found a way to get them into the playoffs.

• Ricardo Clark (4) He played very well tonight; and what a brilliant goal. He tracked back and broke up numerous attacks and scored on a hell of a shot that you could see coming, it was just a matter of time before he struck it well enough to hit the back of the net. Fantastic long shot to make the game awfully interesting. Fantastic hustle and covered a ton of ground. Clark held that difficult battle to at least a draw, and was one of the main reasons the Metros had a shot at a road result.

• Danny Szetala (1) Say what you will about Freddy Adu, this young kid is the real deal and was ready to step in from day one. He's been given a chance in the Columbus midfield with the medical emergency resting of Ross Paule and he's has shined like the coaches said he's been doing since day one in practice. Incredible assist on the goal from Oughton and constantly terrorized the Colorado defense. I totally understand the "hype" now.

• Clint Dempsey (7) Speaking of big, strong, fast and skilled, Dempsey had another performance that has made him a regular here (when he wasn’t broken). Despite getting an early yellow, Clint played a great game. He helped out on defense, but was always ready to make surging runs forward. He won headers, shot well on goal, and finally opened the game up with his short-range blast. Dempsey is one of those guys who can fool you because sometimes it doesn't look like he's putting out much effort. Amazingly though, wherever the ball is, and regardless who has it, he always seems to be lurking around. To always be that close to the ball requires an awful lot of work. The next great midfielder for the US got the Revs going and Ralston finished it off.

• Eddie Gaven (12) Was the second best player on the field for the Metrostars. The little juke he made to clear space for the first cross that led to the goal was spectacular. He constantly ran at the DC defense and created problems, but he didn't create enough chances without Guevara in there to get the Metrostar's a victory, still was a force to be reckoned with.

• Nate Jaqua (7) He battled on offense and defense all night and pulled the Fire back to the brink of the playoffs with his header. Wynalda once said about Jaqua, “he needs to find his proper position.” Whether that's on the wing, in the center of midfield, or as a forward, has yet to be seen; but this kid is big, strong, fast, and skilled. He seemingly was better on the right wing than normal, and he sent in several dangerous crosses and also making some nice moves on the dribble, particularly for someone of his size.

• Freddy Adu (6) Drew three cards, two of them on Ziadie to put DC a man up and protect the lead, and one on Clark that made the Metros' most aggressive player slightly less aggressive. A pair of assists, some very well struck balls, at least four skill moments that made people say "Oooohhh..." and dealt with some physical punishment from the Metros very well. This might be the best way to say it: after this performance, Metrostars fans might not want to see him in the starting lineup this weekend.

**header provided, once again, by Casper

 

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