The Adventures in Parenting Thread

My oldest is the straightest of arrows. He dropped an F-bomb in front of my wife and I when he was in kindergarten and was extremely horrified when we told him that was a potty word that only adults should use. Ever since, I don’t recall him swearing and he has an annoying habit of calling out my wife and I when we swear...

The youngest, on the other hand, is a potty mouth, but I’m not sure he knows he’s doing it. He’s a self-talker and we caught him swearing at his ipad once. After we told him not to swear and after he recovered from the meltdown he had, he spent the next few minutes talking to himself about how he wasn’t supposed to say “sh*t” or “f*ck”. For awhile there every time he heard someone swear, we’d hear him talking to himself about how the person wasn’t supposed to use <swear word>, how <swear word> was a potty word, and how he wasn’t supposed to say <swear word>. He also continues to swear at his ipad, but for the most part he’s just talking to himself about the game, he’s trying to figure something out, and, most importantly, he absolutely nails the proper use of the various swear words, so how can you be mad at him?

 

Oi, what the sexist ******** is this?!?!

 

Kid has figured out how to climb the stairs (which he first did when Spassapparat left him alone for five seconds to let the dog in). Babies are terrifying daredevils and I am not prepared.

 

How'd you get kicked out of a rugby forum? I guess I figured those guys were willing to say anything, anytime.

 

There's an old saying, the British version of which is "Football (soccer) is a gentlemen's sport played by hooligans. Rugby is a hooligan's sport played by gentlemen."

There's actually a higher standard of behavior expected in rugby than in soccer.

Still, getting thrown off a rugby message board... that's a feat.

 

No worries. Yeah, I'm still lurking about.

He definitely had a phase where he loved to lean over the edge or back of the couch to stare at the dog/cats, and we had to watch him to make sure he didn't lean too far and fall. Also a favorite was throwing shit off the couch onto the floor. But throwing shit onto the floor is his favorite game regardless of where he is. Sitting with mom at her desk? Open the drawers and throw all the shit in there on the floor. High chair? Drop food onto the floor for the dog to eat and then cry about being hungry. Bath? Throw duckie out and then stand up in the f@cking tub to stare at it and laugh and then slip and almost drown.

 

10 and 6

 

Just wait until he's walking. Even though he's crawling, he's at least somewhat contained. It gets exponentially worse when they start walking around. Our youngest is a ninja. We'd put him in front of a pile of toys get distracted for half a second, then find him in the kitchen digging through the drawers in the kitchen.... I will say tho, he finds lost things like no ones business. I lost a pin a couple of years before he was born, but one day he walked up to me with it in his hand... Covered in drool, mind you, but still in his hand. I have no idea where he found it.

 

Perhaps try not to let him shit on the couch. Then he’ll have no ammo to throw.

My kids are prolly older than most of the the posters here and were perfect angels.

 

Not helpful.

Shut up grandpa!

 

Obviously my grandkids are older than you.

One plays rugby in NZ. Anymore shit throwing and I’ll sic him on you.

 

Not only are you older than dirt sinko of Mayo is just around the corner!

 

Got it wrong this time Dad. Russia celebrates my day not Mexico.

 

Pipe Down Mrs. God's Precious Incubator / Weaker Vessel...

 

He's playing rugby in his 40s?

 

You try squeezing a kid out, and we'll see who's the weaker vessel.

 

My eight year old after a night of games in a remote cabin in the PA woods, no cell service*

Guys...I just had a thought. This is literally how they lived in the.....nineteen eighties



*they haven’t found the spot yet.

 

You want to compare episiotomy scars or something?

That post hernia surgery turd made me pass out and bust my eye open on the men's room floor

 

Didn't work - but the magnesium citrate did...

Violently...

Without remorse