Before you guys get lost with these points, Beckham injured a broken thumb when England beat South Africa 2-1 last night. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/funny_old_game/2931846.stm Ten things Becks can no longer do Becks' braiding no-no begins to sink in England and Manchester United fans rest easy - David Beckham's broken scaphoid doesn't mean that he will miss any important fixtures. To the man himself, of course, there are other worries. Sure, he can still play football - but what about all the other things he wants to do? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. Shaking celebrity hands No man was more relieved on Thursday night than Nelson Mandela. Good Lord - if the broken bone had happened just 36 hours earlier, the most popular man in South Africa would never have shaken hands with, erm, Nelson Mandela. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2. Braiding his barnet Say what you like about Alice bands, but at least you can adjust them with one hand. Braids? We're talking two hands, a couple of well-placed mirrors and hours of spare time. Expect them to go within the fortnight. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3. Signing new contracts It's not easy holding a pen when your hand is enclosed in a plaster cast - even if you happen to be in Madrid and the other hand is holding on to a suitcase stuffed full of pesetas. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4. Playing games on his mobile Great news for shoppers stuck in check-out queues. If you're left standing with your fruit and veg on your next visit to the supermarket, it's because the girl behind the till has lost the code for Braeburn apples, not cos of Becks and his Space Invaders obsession. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5. Changing nappies Sorry, Victoria - if Romeo lets rip at an inopportune moment, it's off with the wedding ring, on with the clothes peg and into the nappy nightmare you go. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6. Catching cans of drink The barman can slide all the drinks he wants down the saloon bar. With the cast on his hand, Becks will simply have to let the cola go. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7. Dressing himself Of course, Becks hasn't been dressing himself for years - Victoria's camp stylist has looked after that area since 1997. But expect to see slip-on shoes taking over from lace-ups and elastic-waisted tracksuit bottoms edging out the button-fly Armani jeans. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8. Gesturing at fans If you have any filthy chants up your sleeve, now's the ideal time to let rip. Sure, Becks might give you a nasty look - but there certainly won't be any fingers being stuck up in your direction. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 9. Taking money off Michael Owen You can't take part in a game of cards on the team bus if you can't hold your hand or deal when your turn comes. Which means if you want to win money off poor gamblers, you're going to have to find other ways - like I Spy at £50 a go - of doing so. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10. Stopping his wife Yup - she now has free rein to do whatever she wants. Expect the David Beckham single and album before September.
Cruel, but hilarious at the same time! So does anybody wanna take bets as to how long it is before a ManUre troll hits this thread and starts spewing stupidity?
13. Make 2 handed saves from flying boots to his face. Oh wait, he didn't do that with either hand the first time. Nevermind....
I would hope that no Arsenal fan would post anything on the ManU boards about this. A) We got mad at them, so let's not troll there. B) It's not cool to take joy in another's injury. Having a laugh at Sir Alex is one thing, rubbing it in over an injury is just bad karma.