State Cup game abandoned

I don't have any other information on this game but....... I absolutely LOVE seeing:

- the coach trying to help the referee rather than working against the referee
- the players saying "You're wasting our time!" and "Just leave!" to the parent
- the players making visible motions indicating that they want to play to the referee and not attacking the ref crew
- Another parent acknowledged that he's been asked to leave and then starting to leave without argument AND THEN trying to get the other parent to leave as well.

This shows me that everyone was done with this particular group of fans and were glad when the referee found the opportunity to do something about it. Not a single person argued with the referee except for the 1 stubborn idiot who caused the game to be abandoned. I thought all was handled well by this referee.

 

I’ve noted this before—at least half the time I’ve had parents removed, parents from the same team have thanked me. We make the world a better place when we toss those who need tossing.

 

Based on the fan reaction, obviously the poor behavior was going on for a while. Having said that, a deranged adult is not going to take marching orders from someone he perceives to be a "kid". It's irrelevant that the coach approached the fan(s) after as the referee is still lingering.

Without knowing if there were any stoppages prior to this, the referee should have gone to the coach first, told him who had to be tossed and that he wasn't restarting the match until then and not engaging the fans. Again, without knowing what happened before, it's hard to tell if everything possible was done to curtail the behavior without terminating the match.

Nobody won here.

 

I hope that his kid is absolutely humiliated and takes it out on him. Maybe he'll tell his dad to never go to another one of his games again. Guy probably said "ha, no way he'll terminate a state cup semifinal match over this". Well he messed around and found out. Huge props to that referee for having the guts to do it.

 

A field without proper markings, and a parent is going ballistic about a throw-in. Youth AR confidently signaling to referee that he saw deflection. Youth center referee seemed to be positioning himself well, not being lazy in the center circle.

Would some of you once giving the warning he had to leave before the game restarted, have given longer? What is a good length of time? Tell them they have 5 minutes, we'll let the kids have a water break until he's gone?

 

How long depends on the demeanor of the person. If they are indicting that they are not going to leave, there's no reason to wait any longer.

I had a coach at a rec game, U10 or U12, tell me once that she wasn't going to make a parent leave. She told me she never heard that was her responsibility. Sorry coach, we're done. Game over. The fact that the coach wasn't being the most cooperative earlier in the game probably led me to be less willing to wait for her to change her mind.

 

I don't know the ins and outs of the competition, but if the competition has rules about match abandonment, the other team probably won because of the spectators inability to behave themselves.

Also I agree with what i think you're trying to say, the referee did an exceptional job, the coach was on his side, and this is a great first step towards making other referees feel brave and safe enough to use their authority correctly in our country's current massive referee shortage. Especially since spectators aren't required and who cares how much they pay. I'm sure that's what you meant.

 

This is why youth comps like to put it in the rules that the coach is responsible for the behavior of their spectators. As a referee, we want to, but we don't actually have the authority to dismiss a spectator. We do have the authority to terminate a match due to an unsafe situation. That authority will either influence the coach to act in a responsible manner and attempt to get the spectator to vacate the premeses, or it won't and you have to exercise it. Game over, indeed.

 

I know coaches are responsible for the spectators but I think that sometimes if you can handle something with a spectator quickly, it’s okay to deal with yourself if it will cause a big delay in the game (I.e. coach is on the other side of the field from the spectators. Tell spectator to be quiet. As in, quickly tell them to get out and they leave. Any sort of refusal, then you’re going to the coach. In this situation it was unnecessary because the spectator was directly behind the coach. Obviously don’t stand there getting into a big argument with a spectator, but a quick resolution can sometimes not require the coach.

One of the few times I was going to throw out an entire spectator section was when an unknown parent on AR2 side yelled out Spanish profanity directed towards my AR1. I was standing right there so I asked who did it, no one took responsibility, so I said “then you’re all gone, I’m going to the coach” and then as I started to walk away the person fessed up and left.

 

The very last words on the video are about making sure the referee is able to leave safely. Also nice to see.

 

Yes, absolutely. Stop the match. Inform the parents that the match will not resume until the troublesome parent or parents have left. Have the teams go to their benches. Walk away and don’t engage. These kids don’t deserve to have their match abandoned bc of an ill behaved parent. We are out there for the players, not the parents.

After a few minutes the troublesome parent will leave or be forced to leave by the other parents and or coaches.

If there is a match scheduled after this match, then be cognizant that you don’t want to push into their time, but do what you can to give the kids who are behaving as much time as possible to complete the match.

 

It is a tough situation. On the one hand, supporting the referee for having the courage to end a game due to a disruptive parent like that. On the other, the kids lose out and get punished. Maybe it would have been better for the referee to wait a few minutes to really see if he wouldn’t leave before ending the game. But sometimes drastic things like this may be necessary to get the person to change which will help future referees who have to deal with him being at games. Just waiting for him to leave to restart might not change his behavior

 

Our responsibility is to the players and to the game. We can send messages to parents while keeping the players at the forefront.

I am not critical of the ref here. He is a young ref and it took courage to do what he did. Kudos to him for not tolerating bad behavior.

But an even more mature approach is to simply wait out the parent. That puts the onus on them and doesn’t leave the players without an outcome dependent upon them.

 

You say that the coach or other parents will force them to leave, what if they don’t want to be confrontational so nothing happens? What if they do try to be confrontational and a fight in the stands is about to occur as a result? What if a few minutes go by and the non-offending coach is pressuring you to start and is getting frustrated with you?

Are you going with the call to police and waiting for them to arrive to remove him before terminating the match because he kids don’t deserve to have their game ruined? Or perhaps the police threat could be what finally gets him to leave

It might seem ridiculous to assume the worst like this, but you never know what can happen with these psychos in the stands.

 

I would say you have never seen parents take care of this. This method works most every time within a few minutes of clearing the players to their benches. And if you have to escalate to having the police called, so be it. I’ve seen it threatened and I have seen it done and in fact I have directed others to call the police when we have had a parent who refuses to leave.

In some states, being told to leave by the competition authorities (which can include sports officials) and not leaving constitutes trespassing.

 

This was far from an exceptional job. Despite 90% of the posts supporting the referees actions, this is a training video on what NOT to do:

1) He “ejects” the fans directly, which is a no-no.
2) He goes to the coach next, when the damage was already done.
3) He doesn’t step away to give the coach a chance to deal with the parent individually. This bully was not going to leave with the youth referee 10 yards away.

I’ve been officiating for quite some time and only had to terminate ONE game in my career (another one was an adult game when the red carded player refused to leave the field of play). This was the year of COVID-19 when many seemed to have behaved like caged animals and I did everything humanly possible to try to prevent it.

I don’t expect him to have the management-skills that I and everyone else here most likely have because of his lack of game and life experience, but this young referee has matched my total of abandonments (ONE) in only his first few years as a referee and took the same initial training to become an official that we all did to handle these situations.

While it’s possible an abandonment would still have been needed even by following the correct steps eventually, we will never know since he didn’t follow the simple initial procedure of approaching the coach first (to the best of our knowledge) before this play.

No one won because the kids didn’t get to decide the match on the field.

 

Yes, luckily I have rarely had to experience throwing spectators out in a youth game, but in one of the few experiences I remember that I posted above, the parents had no plans to identify the parent who yelled out the profanity and instead pretended that they didn’t hear anything at all. If stopping the game and waiting for people to identify the person or making them throw him out usually works, then that is great. Or if they clearly don’t plan to leave, or the parents and coaches have no interest in helping you deal with he person, then calling or at least threatening to call the police. I’ll have to keep that in mind for the future.

I agree with all that, the only reason I support what the referee did is because it’s a younger looking referee who had the courage to terminate a match, an important match, rather than the usual case with younger refs which is being too scared to deal with unruly adults and simply tolerating the abuse all game long and then having it be a factor in them quitting.

The only youth match I ever had to officially terminate and call the cops was when (as a solo ref) a coach stormed into the opposing technical area threatening to fight players after they yelled ot to injure his player and that teams parents ran across the field trying to fight him.

 

4. (actually should be #1): He chose to start the game on a field which wasn't marked. There was no sideline much less a penalty area. Game should never have been played; especially if this was a state cup level.

 

It was marked.

Initially, I thought it wasn't either. If you look carefully, they were using these one yard vinyl-type strips about 5 yards apart that served as the penalty area, touchline and sideline.

About 8 years ago, a referee crew in our state would not play a game for this reason. The state office (or one of the assignors?) sent a mass email indicating that these strips in the video are deemed acceptable by USSF.

The referee crew had no choice but to play. Reading the comments on FB, it appears there have been multiple small-sided games at that location.

 

"What if they don't leave?" Then you leave. It's unsafe.

Not that many years ago, I had a men's league game, O-50 IIRC, where there was a fight. I have no idea what made a routine foul for a tackle that missed the ball into an all out, on the ground punching each other fight. Two reds, of course, and I waited for both of them to leave. Restarted, with no on going hostility apparent. A minute or two later, I hear shouting in the parking lot. (Parking lot was outside a good sized fence, at one end of the field.) I ignored it. Then I see a few players at that end of the field leaving the field and walking towards the parking lot. And then a few more. I terminated the game. Didn't bother with yellows for leaving the field without permission. I pulled the red carded players' player cards from the stack. A few minutes later, team leadership came to me to reclaim their player cards. I returned them with the admonishment "Guys, we're too old to be fighting like this." So, in this case, the perps did leave but that didn't end their misconduct.

Apparently, this became legendary amongst the players because earlier this year I was approached by a player, pre-game, with his player card to check in, "Yeah, you're the guy that told us we're too old to fight."