Spurs

I know it has nothing to do with Ireland but its funny all the same..Dont know about you but I am sick of my Spurs mates talking to me about what players they are chasing!

Closey

TEAMTALK.COM

Spurs have made an audacious double swoop to strengthen their team by almost signing Ronaldo and Vieri.
Boss Glenn Hoddle said "I think this will prove to everyone how ambitious we are and that we are the top club in Europe. This continues the good progress from when we almost signed Schevchenko last year and only last week we almost signed Rivaldo. If any of the top players in the world become available will can guarantee that we will almost sign them.Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson was quoted as saying " I just don't know how we can compete with Spurs. We signed Rio Ferdinand and straight away Spurs respond by almost signing Rivaldo, Ronaldo, Morientes and Vieri." Arsene Wenger stated "Spurs are ruining the game with their monopoly on almost signing people. The rest of us just don't stand a chance. I would have loved to have almost signed these 4 players but we are just not in a position to compete." Commenting on the subject Harry Redknapp said "Give us 50 quid and you can quote me as saying anything you want." In the meantime Spurs confirm that they have signed Chinese squad player Qu Bo, but this will not stop them from their policy of almost signing many more top class players.

Press Release of Rivaldo's letter to Hoddle

Dear Mr Hoddle
I just thought I'd write to let you know why I chose A C Milan over your club but first may I say how honoured I was when my agent told me a big North London club had come in for me. Clearly there was a misunderstanding as when I phoned Arsene Wenger he didn't have a clue what I was on about. I must say I was tempted to join a club with your great traditions, after all I have never won the Worthington Cup, particularly as I would have enjoyed the challenge of playing with such talents as Taricco, Sherwood and Richards. I was almost poised to sign when someone told me Chris Armstrong had left your club and I realised I would not have had the opportunity of linking up with him. Finally when my agent told me I would have the opportunity of playing under the guidance of a succesful and esteemed former England coach I was flattered. That is until I realised who he was talking about when I again became confused as I don't think you are either succesful or esteemed. So because of my confusion I signed for A C Milan. I realise you will probably see the San Siro as a poor substitute for White Hart Lane but I have made my mind up for better or worse. I think it is unlikely we shall meet each other in a professional capacity for many years, if ever, so let me again thank you for your interest.
Yours sincerely

Rivaldo

P.S. My agent also represents Titi Camara and he has asked me to pass his name on to you as he may be seen as a more appropriate signing for a club with your stature and aspirations.