Congrats to this year's winners of the Wooden Spoon, the Chicago Fire! Well done and well deserved, Mr. Hauptman! Mr. Atul, your best business practices have paid off handsomely! You must be so proud of your success! Career posthumous congratulations are also in order to Mr. Potat... er, Yallop on a fine example of creating crappy soccer for the ages.
And it's not just that, let us also note that the Fire have uncovered new ground in Major League Soccer history as the first team ever to finish 20th.
Andy and Atul must be so proud of the results that their best business practices have achieved this year! I'm so proud of them, I may weep openly at any minute.
Sunday October 25th Chicago Fire versus Who really cares! Time to celebrate the only team in MLS history to finish the season 20th out of 20 teams. It's not as easy as it looks folks, really! Replica wooden spoons to the first 50 or so fans in attendance. Renew your season tickets and receive an additional wooden spoon! Each will be personally signed by our very own Andrew Hauptman. This is an event true Chicago soccer fans should not miss. HOW LOW CAN YOU GO? We just found out.
You're all forgetting: we're guaranteed less than a one point per game average! We can still hit 20 losses, too.