I don't normally write lyrics and I'm not that good at coming up with chants, but this came to me while listening to the radio on the way to work (to the tune of Roxette's 'Listen to your heart'): He makes commotion when they brush past his side He hits the deck and then he covers his eyes He wants that Free Kick so he jerks and he writhes Maybe make you pull out that red card Listen to Lenhart When he sprawls before you Listen to Lenhart As he acts like a douche I don't know why he's rolling Around on the floor Listen to Lenhart Don't show our player the door
Bravo. Very, very well done. However.... ...as a 'why-reinvent-the-wheel' addition to my lifelong quest for luxurious idle and minimum exertion of any sort, I offer for this purpose the perfectly suited, fully 20-second composition by those melodic raconteurs The Angry Samoans.