Soccer in 2 Halves: Heresy!

Discussion in 'Politics & Current Events' started by needs, Oct 16, 2005.

  1. needs

    needs Member

    Jan 16, 2003
    Brooklyn
    I'm amazed that no one has started a thread on this yet. The NYT published a fatwa against the established rules of soccer from some crazies on the op-ed page today (to illustrate a Saudi crackdown on frivoulous fatwas, which is hilarious in its own right). In addition to the above, it contains gems like "Don't build goals using a crossbar" and my personal favorite...

    Here's the link so everyone can enjoy the comedy gold. Pay particular attention to the rules about post-goal celebrations and why 45 minutes is the time of the Jews.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/16/opinion/16porter.html

    (I don't think this is hidden behind their stupid TimesSelect barrier)
     
  2. Revolt

    Revolt Member+

    Jun 16, 1999
    Davis, CA
    Club:
    San Jose Earthquakes
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    When I read it the first time, I thought it was a joke - poking fun of frivolous fatwas, but after reading the intro a second time (I can be slow that way), I realize this IS real.

    Now I'm not laughing anymore.
     
  3. russ

    russ Member+

    Feb 26, 1999
    Canton,NY
    Club:
    Liverpool FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Some of the talking points with commentary-

    6. If you have fulfilled these conditions and intend to play soccer, play to strengthen the body in order to better struggle in the way of God on high and to prepare the body for when it is called to jihad. Soccer is not for passing time or the thrill of so-called victory.

    Straight out of the playing fields of Eton,that....


    9. If neither of you beats the other, or "wins" as it is called, and neither puts the leather between the posts, do not add extra time or penalties until someone wins. No, instead leave the field, because winning with overtime and penalty kicks is the pinnacle of imitating heretics and international rules.

    Comment:Someone has a problem with this?They're right you know!

    10. If you play soccer, do not appoint someone to follow you called a "referee,"

    Comment:Good players can ref their own matches and police themselves.

    11. Young crowds should not gather to watch when you play because if you are there for the sake of sports and strengthening your bodies as you claimed, why would people watch you? You should make them join your physical fitness and jihad preparation, or you should say: "Go proselytize and seek out morally reprehensible acts in the markets and the press and leave us to our physical fitness."

    Comment:What would of course be better is if you got them to play with you and then all went out to find some morally reprehensible acts to do,preferably with hot chicks.

    12. If you finish playing soccer, do not talk about your game and say, "We were better than the opponent," or "So-and-so plays well" and so on.

    Comment:Smack talkin's for losers,we all know that right?

    13. You should spit in the face of whoever puts the ball between the posts or uprights and then runs in order to get his friends to follow him and hug him .... you should punish and reprimand him, for what is the relationship between celebrating, hugging and kissing and the sports that you are practicing?

    Comment:Like Tom Landry said,"If you score,act like you've been there before."


    15. Do not do what is called "substitution," that is, taking the place of someone who has fallen, because this is a practice of the heretics in America and elsewhere.

    Another "modern" trend that has destroyed the beauty of the game.

    I only wish they added something about more than three minutes stoppage time and long throwins...
     
  4. bigredfutbol

    bigredfutbol Moderator
    Staff Member

    Sep 5, 2000
    Woodbridge, VA
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Well, I just read it, and all I can say is--you can't make fun of people who write nonsense like this. This is beyond parody. Unreal.
     
  5. russ

    russ Member+

    Feb 26, 1999
    Canton,NY
    Club:
    Liverpool FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Why?Because it's about soccer?

    Why is this any more "senseless" than the Wahhabist take on everything else?

    And if it's all "senseless" to us,then why is it appearing* to make sense so many Islamic believers ?

    Do we think that Muslim fundamentalists are of inferior intelligence or impaired in some way?





    *Maybe it doesn't make sense to many Muslims,but in that case,that should perhaps be a bit more publicized.
     
  6. topcatcole

    topcatcole BigSoccer Supporter

    Apr 26, 2003
    Washington DC
    Club:
    Arsenal FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Of course we do! After all, they worship an inferior god!! Isn't that an impairment? :rolleyes:
     
  7. YankBastard

    YankBastard Na Na Na Na NANANANAAA!

    Jun 18, 2005
    Estados Unidos
    Club:
    AS Roma
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    They worship the same god as Christians and Jews.
     
  8. Scarecrow

    Scarecrow Red Card

    Feb 13, 2004
    Chicago
    Club:
    Chicago Fire
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    It is just them getting ready for the AQ inquisition. I mean Christans had the Spainsh Inquisition, now the muslims are going to have theirs I guess.
     
  9. YankBastard

    YankBastard Na Na Na Na NANANANAAA!

    Jun 18, 2005
    Estados Unidos
    Club:
    AS Roma
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    4. Do not follow the heretics, the Jews, the Christians and especially evil America regarding the number of players. Do not play with 11 people. Instead, add to this number or decrease it.

    ROFL!! Do people actually follow this crap? Who's the moron who actually wrote this? Probably somebody who never even played the sport.

    This one's my favorite:
    13. You should spit in the face of whoever puts the ball between the posts or uprights and then runs in order to get his friends to follow him and hug him like players in America or France do, and you should punish and reprimand him, for what is the relationship between celebrating, hugging and kissing and the sports that you are practicing?
     
  10. ElJefe

    ElJefe Moderator
    Staff Member

    Feb 16, 1999
    Colorful Colorado
    Club:
    FC Dallas
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    That'll be news to Christians, Jews, and Muslims, I'm sure.
     
  11. IntheNet

    IntheNet New Member

    Nov 5, 2002
    Northern Virginia
    Club:
    Blackburn Rovers FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    It should take much longer for the Terrorist Lexicon to creep into our vocabulary! Further, Webster's Minions should have to officially approve such words before they are used and gain credence.... Just the other day I heard two kids talking and one said,"Your mom's on a jihad against me." :(

    If we adopt their words the terrorists have won!

    Join the Americans For Better Verbiage Campaign and refuse to patronize the terrorist's lexicon... it's the absolute least we can do!
     
  12. Matt in the Hat

    Matt in the Hat Moderator
    Staff Member

    Sep 21, 2002
    Brooklyn
    Club:
    New York Red Bulls
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    And I assume that our president would be a charter member of that group?
     
  13. needs

    needs Member

    Jan 16, 2003
    Brooklyn
    You didn't read the article, did you?

    I called it a fatwa because that's what it is: A religious instruction composed by a Muslim cleric. That's the entire point of the op-ed.
     
  14. Metroweenie

    Metroweenie New Member

    Aug 15, 2004
    Westchester, NY
    American soccer has finally made it!
     
  15. needs

    needs Member

    Jan 16, 2003
    Brooklyn
    Exactly. We will send them all to hell!

     
  16. lobtuf

    lobtuf New Member

    Oct 13, 2005
    brilliant!
     

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