I have shared this story before. No, it was not a coach (although he behaved like one), but a parent was vociferous throughout an EDP game last year for a "hand ball". When I informed the parent after the game that the CR was a Former FIFA Referee and officiated in MLS the first few years, the response was "So What?!?". No offense to being an instructor recognized by the state, but if folks are not impressed with a guy being a former high-level official (although obviously up in years now), what do you think they will be impressed with?
What is your point with your posts here exactly? On the one hand, it seems you are sympathetic to referees, saying you fear for their safety. On the other hand, your entire first comment was ranting against unfair decisions the incompetent referees made against your team, which makes it seem like (even if you didn’t mean to make it sound like this, or maybe you did) you would say “well gee, I don’t condone violence against referees, but with how bad our referees have been, I wouldn’t blame the kids for doing it”. Your first step should be demanding your players stop making threats against the referees, and if they continue, kick them off the team. Period. Full stop. That is your first action if you actually care.
You play the cards you are dealt. Do some refs suck? Yup. Do some refs have a bad day? Yup. Do you sometimes get the wrong order at the restaurant? Yup. Do you sometimes get a huge estimate on your car repair? How do you respond to ALL of these? Hopefully with as much grace and dignity as you can. And as a coach/leader, you teach the kids this concept. Guys, the only thing we can control is ourselves. Play your best and try to have fun. If we get a bad hand, we just gotta suck it up and work through it. Or you can be the person who is caught on video as the bad example. Or worse, the guy who shoots up the school/church/neighboorhood. Teach your children well. And of course, encourage them to become refs and part of the solution.
Let’s not jump all the way to the “shooting up the school” conclusion here. That’s just gonna lead this guy to have the opinion of “all I did was ask the refs a question and they said I was gonna shoot up the town! They can’t take any criticism!” and make him hate refs even more.
And yet I keep dealing with parents who pull the, “hey, I played in college!” line whenever they question things like, say, which lines we’re using on a U-9 field. People are happy to respect experience if it backs up their own ignorance.
1. Some teams are going to pull some shenanigans at all levels, and what I’d suggest is that you ask your club or league to institute a rule on checking player passes. That’s really the only way to deal with it without telling financially disadvantaged kids they need spiffy new uniforms. 2. All … the … time. Some rec players in particular just don’t foul at all. 3. That’s a really easy call to miss. It’s unlucky. Not a reason why anything should escalate. 4. Sounds like a badly missed call. But you do realize the ref has to see it happen, right? You can’t walk up afterwards with physical evidence. 5. Yelling “the AR’s flag is up!!” is one of the things I don’t mind a coach yelling. 6. This very much sounds like the escalation is on you, not the ref. To an extent, I get it. As a parent and coach, I saw plenty of occasions in which the ref didn’t leave the Circle of Excellence and barely made a call. I saw one ref suffer what could only be described as a one-minute blackout while a kid was down with what turned out to be a concussion. I even saw one ref I would confidently describe as racist against the one Black player on the field. And I played in an indoor league where the racial undertones were … yeah, kinda bad, but I’d note that the one time it looked like a fight was going to break out was when the ref MADE the calls. But in my transition from parent/coach to ref, my perspective has changed dramatically. What from the sideline appeared to be obvious fouls by an opponent against my team now look like cases of two players shoving or impeding each other with contact, and it’s difficult to see who started it. The shot through a broken side netting that I would’ve tried to fix if I had time for a proper walkthrough isn’t as obvious as it seemed from the sideline. All the life-or-death throw-in calls that made me groan were a lot easier to call as a parent with the play five yards in front of me than they are as a center ref with no ARs and an obstructed view. So I’m not totally dismissing your complaints here. What I’m telling you is that if you take up the whistle yourself — and it sounds like you’re desperately needed — I guarantee you’ll have a shorter list of complaints about refs and a much longer one about players, parents and coaches.
Also were you really on the field before you were beckoned, or did I just misunderstand? 6) My kid is down from a slide tackle, right at the centerline, I get to him as play stops and I am waved on
Back to the MLS Next fees / expenses discussion ... This cracked me up ... come to this orientation meeting (on your own time) ... and pay for parking yourself. Sigh.
We have clubs of all levels that rent out colleges and other facilities where the parking is as high as $20, depending on the number of matches (I am sure you guys do as well). In most cases, I already know the contact person since I've done their matches and reach out for "vouchers" or am told they'll compensate at the field. They are under no obligation to do so, but it's the right thing to do. I'm always the "bad guy" who has to reach out. My partners are uncomfortable to do so, but aren't as uncomfortable to reach out their hand when I give them their share of the parking expenses. Here's the distressing parts to me: 1) Folks I know on local club boards refuse to add in the ROC that referee expenditures for parking should be compensated by the home team. The teams and clubs are big money makers for both the leagues and the assignors and they're not going to rock the boat. 2) I've had teams tell me they've reached out to assignors on how to reach referees in advance for these vouchers so there's no shock at being greeted by a parking booth, but are usually ignored. And yet, no one will blame assignors for anything on this thread. It's a topic that can't be touched with a 10 foot pole.
All employees who work at my company’s home office get a parking pass for one of the two downtown parking ramps near the building. We can use them 24/7, no matter what events are happening downtown. I can even use mine to walk a few blocks in the city skywalk system to the arena. Yet referees have to pay for their own parking. Unreal.
Hold your meeting at a Waldorf Astoria, luxury $300 a night hotel, ballroom where the refs have to pay $8 to park (saw their website, 0-4 hours in the garage is $8). Force referees to come in a day early to attend this meeting and pay for an extra night in a hotel. Give them zero lodging money, zero transportation money, probably a few games a day. But according to the discussion we had on here weeks ago, the majority of this forum thinks that this is just refs “paying their dues”, no pun intended, and is no big deal. For a tournament hosted by the nation’s soccer youth developmental league. And since I didn’t see any desperate emails from them, I’m sure refs around the country fell over themselves to ask to do this. Just the cost of doing business
everyone signing up to be selected for the tourney knew the sunk costs coming in and expectations. The opportunity to work in front Rick eddy and a bunch of national referee coaches outweighed the extra $120 to come in early + $8 for parking, $50 for a rental/round trip uber whatever it may be. Sucks but if not game attend ECNL, GA or have your state subsidize.
Yes I'm aware, that was my last sentence addressed. It's not great treatment for the referees, but when likely top referees still fall over themselves to attend, why do anything different?
https://www.cnn.com/2023/12/06/business/chipotle-attacker-sentenced-to-fast-food-job/index.html We need this for all referee assault cases
No, you put them on low level adult amateur coed or men’s games and tell the players that dissent is encouraged
I don't think you would need to get them on the field. The punishment of trying to create the correct passwords when registering for the first time as a referee (even though you met the password requirement), screens and videos that freeze on you, ridiculous exam questions and the wonderful SafeSport requirement would be sufficient.
Make them do SafeSport. Twice. And make sure they watch every slide by giving mini quizzes periodically. Any incorrect answer adds a week in jail.