Real how to become a referee thread

As a huge soccer fan for many years, I saw the game from a totally different perspective yesterday, as I reffed my first AYSO match.

Here in Davis, youth soccer is HUGE. We've got overbearing parents, demanding coaches, the whole lot. Though qualified to do so only on the strength of one game (and the ref course being fresh in my mind), I'll share one piece of advice: the center ref is always right. So when I (as AR) called a ball out-of-touch one way on a bing-bang deflection, and he confidently signaled the other, my flag changed hands and we were signalling the same direction. FWIW, I saw it clearly, but I feel that I made the right call twice: first, as the play actually happened, and second, to change the call to support the center.

In terms of scheduling, we have an on-line ref scheduler (password accessible) at davisayso.org. I haven't seen other AYSO web sites, so I can't say
whether Davis's is a model, but the site looks pretty good to me.

Already looking forward to reffing match two ...
~OG3

 

I referee in Davis as well, but mostly competitive games.

 

This is interesting. I'm tempted to looking into being a ref.

One question that came to mind: If a player (especially teen or younger) told you to "Fu*c Off," does he/she get ye old red card?

 

Yes.

 

Small world, Turin!


So folks, I reffed a pair of games Saturday, so my tally is up to three.

The parents have not been bad at all (or else I'm too focused on the game to hear it), but I'd like to hear your best one-liners for coaches/parents who are jawing at the refs. (If you think silence is the best strategy, I'm interested to hear your rationale.)

So far, I've got "I'll ref, you coach" all ready to go. Others?
~OG3

 

Well...humor can be very disarming, if used properly, but it can also get you into trouble.

Generally, you're probably better off trying to filter out the sidelines noise. You'll find it distracting...and if you feel the need to reply, you're likely only to escalate things. And unless the crowd is in a good humor --- and the easy banter with well-natured spectators is coming naturally and easily on that particular day --- I usually don't engage the crowed at all.

A better tactic, I've found, is to use the coach: a discreet word to the coach, asking for his help in reining in his spectators will probably work better than trading one-liners with hecklers (who, remember, don't have to worry about managing a game to serve as a distraction for their comedy-club auditions). And your biggest hammer, remember, is YOUR ability to solve the problem: you can, after all, make the problem disappear by banishing the heckler (or the entire crowd) from the sidelines: and I've found that reminding the coach (often in a voice loud enough to be overheard) that if you have to solve the problem, then NOBODY will like the solution, is all that it takes.

 

Wisdom is knowing the answer, but not always saying it. Trading one liners will get you in trouble eventually. Use your powers as a referee, and remain professional and composed at all times. Remember: a referee can never win an argument with an ignorant or overemotional spectator. Avoid the conflict, and if that is not possible, use the coach. You'll learn tricks as you go along to manipulating the situation to your advantage.

I did have the urge to use one yesterday though. After a perticularly rough match, a spectator came up to me asking where I had gotten my license. I wanted to say Wal-Mart just to say the look on his face, but instead I just walked away.

 

Thanks! This is good stuff. Like I said, I haven't had to deal with inappropriate parent or coach behavior yet... if anything, folks have been appreciative. Perhaps the reputation or stereotype is worse than the reality. Hope so.

Turin's real-world example is instructive. Anyone else have examples?
~OG3

 

At a U-17 girls match last fall, I was running the line on the parents side of the field, and the mother of the goalkeeper was hanging around behind me yelling at every call that didn't go her daughter's teams way. At one point when the center was down near me, during a stoppage, he called out to me (loud enough for all to hear) "Hey, I don't think we've given out the Most Ignorant Parent award today, have we?" I laughed and called back "I've got a nominee for you!"

After the game, two or three girls on that team walked up to the center and me and told us that what we said was "awesome!". You'll generally find that the kids hate behavior like that as much as the refs do, if not more.

 

Avoiding one-liners is probably some of the better advice you'll get. I've avoided them...although there was one time when I was tempted. A parent, disagreeing about my decisions about who would get throw-ins, started counting on his fingers..."That's five ref." I wanted to say that if the game kept going he was probably going to have to take his shoes off....but I didn't.

Every once in a while, there are good ones. My son, at 14, was an AR at a youth league game and the coach of a team that he had just called offside asked, "Do you know what offside is?" His answer was, "Yes, do you know what dissent is?" That was also the game that led to his decision that reffing wasn't something he wanted to do...so he just concentrated on playing from that point.

If you do youth games, particularly the really young ones, part of the job is teaching the kids what the laws are...and bending them a bit sometimes. For instance, at one game a little girl was having a devil of a time getting a goal kick out of the penalty area. After about four or so tries, I had her move the ball closer to the edge of the penalty area so she could succeed. The more you can teach at this level (not coach...just focus on the laws) the more you'll have parents and coaches come up after to thank you.

You'll also have a chance to educate some parents at the youth level. I remember one game (probably U10) where the player who had received a throw-in was under pressure, so passed back to the thrower. His mother called out that he shouldn't be kicking the ball away from his own goal. As we started off down the field I called to her over my shoulder that no, he had done exactly what he should have done.

 

Teaching parents at the younger ages is something that can work very well for us senior referees. During local tournaments, I will take some U10 games as an AR along with two young referees. I'll put the other young referee on the coaches side and I'll take the parents side for myself. That allows me to watch them both and keep an eye on both benches. But it also allows me to interact with the parents when necessary. First off, I can keep any parents from getting on the referee and when the mood is right (which is more often than not at these young games), I can also provide some feedback to parents when I hear things questioned.

 

I've signed up for a new referee grade 8 clinic later this month.

The idea of officiating my first match frankly terrifies me though. I'd feel less stress if someone told me that I had to single handedly land a fully loaded 747.

I'm wondering now if I can actually do it.

 

So, is there a standard uniform for officials in the U.S.? There are several color uniforms available. Yellow, blue, black being the most common.

Is it up to the official?

 

All colors are official and are acceptable to be worn, IASocFan. Yellow is the primary, but if a team is yellow then the referee will decide whether to wear black, red, or blue. Yellow first, all others second.

Then again, you watch MLS and the referees will wear any color they please regardless of if there is a yellow team or not, so I guess they are allowed to ignore that policy

 

Ah, well that explains why yellow is less frequently used when it is an option in MLS. Still, it is the primary uniform and the three others are equally secondary. That was the only real point I was making, the bit about MLS was more of a joke

 

I became a ref because of this thread.

Thanks.

 

Way to go, Laggard!

Safe, Fair, and Fun,
~OGx3

 

That and he has taste when it comes to supporting football clubs.

 

You too!

 

What really kills me particularly in the MLS is that so many teams have a hodgepoge of colors that make the contrast between the team uniforms and the officiating crews negligible.