I've got a few more minutes to kill before Ali G comes on, so I figured I'd start this thing. I think most of us can agree that the Grammies mean next to nothing in the great scheme of things, so we can have a bit of fun with our predictions and sarky comments. I'll put a list of major nominees up in a moment. Off you go.
Well, here they are - the nominees for some of the more prominent categories in this weekend's Grammies. I've almost died of boredom and stupefaction just looking at them - you can imagine how bad the actual ceremony is going to be. Come on and plumb the depths of irrelevance with us! Feel free to add your predictions in other categories, i.e. Best Alternative Instrumental Female Jazz Pop Recording, as you please. Best Alternative Music Album Sea Change Beck Walking With Thee Clinic A Rush Of Blood To The Head Coldplay Cruel Smile Elvis Costello & The Imposters Behind The Music The Soundtrack Of Our Lives Best Rock Album When I Was Cruel Elvis Costello C'mon, C'mon Sheryl Crow Dreamland Robert Plant The Rising Bruce Springsteen Head On Straight Tonic Best Hard Rock Performance All My Life Foo Fighters I Stand Alone Godsmack Youth Of The Nation P.O.D. No One Knows Queens Of The Stone Age Aerials System Of A Down Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal Girls Of Summer Aerosmith In My Place Coldplay My Sacrifice Creed Hero Chad Kroeger Featuring Josey Scott When I'm Gone 3 Doors Down Take Me As I Am Tonic Walk On U2 Best Male Rock Vocal Performance Slow Burn David Bowie 45 Elvis Costello The Barry Williams Show Peter Gabriel Darkness, Darkness Robert Plant The Rising Bruce Springsteen Best Female Rock Vocal Performance Steve McQueen Sheryl Crow The Weakness In Me Melissa Etheridge Sk8er Boi Avril Lavigne Gnawin' On It Bonnie Raitt Alone Susan Tedeschi Best Pop Vocal Album Come Away With Me Norah Jones Let Go Avril Lavigne Rock Steady No Doubt Missundaztood Pink Britney Britney Spears Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal Everyday Bon Jovi Girl All The Bad Guys Want Bowling For Soup Where Are You Going Dave Matthews Band Hey Baby No Doubt Girlfriend *NSYNC Best Male Pop Vocal Performance 7 Days Craig David Original Sin Elton John Your Body Is A Wonderland John Mayer Fragile Sting October Road James Taylor Best Female Pop Vocal Performance Soak Up The Sun Sheryl Crow Don't Know Why Norah Jones Complicated Avril Lavigne Get The Party Started Pink Overprotected Britney Spears Best New Artist Ashanti Michelle Branch Norah Jones Avril Lavigne John Mayer Song of the Year Complicated Lauren Christy, Graham Edwards, Avril Lavigne & Scott Spock, songwriters (Avril Lavigne) Don't Know Why Jesse Harris, songwriter (Norah Jones) The Rising Bruce Springsteen, songwriter (Bruce Springsteen) A Thousand Miles Vanessa Carlton, songwriter (Vanessa Carlton) Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning)Alan Jackson, songwriter (Alan Jackson) Record Of The Year A Thousand Miles Vanessa Carlton Without Me Eminem Don't Know Why Norah Jones Dilemma Nelly Featuring Kelly Rowland How You Remind Me Nickelback Album Of The Year Home Dixie Chicks The Eminem Show Eminem Come Away With Me Norah Jones Nellyville Nelly The Rising Bruce Springsteen
This is the only category that I care about this year.... Best Rock Instrumental Performance (For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances, without vocals. Includes Rock, Hard Rock and Metal. Singles or Tracks only.) Approaching Pavonis Mons By Balloon (Utopia Planitia) The Flaming Lips Track from: Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots [Warner Bros. Records] Sco-Mule Gov't Mule Track from: The Deep End Volume 1 [ATO Records] Apollo Tony Levin Track from: Pieces Of The Sun [Narada] Starry Night Joe Satriani Track from: Strange Beautiful Music [Epic Records] Love Theme From The Godfather Slash Track from: The Kid Stays In The Picture (Jeff Danna) [Milan Records] I'm hoping Gov't Mule wins, since they're one of my favs. Plus, that is a smoking instrumental with John Scofield, Bernie Worrell and Chris Wood.
I think he meant that the terror alert was up because the terrorists are going to bomb the grammies thusly eliminating the 900 hyper-pretentious non-singing "singers" (kid rock, this means you), non-instrument playing "musicians" (nsync, you're it), non-entertaining entertainers (paging Christina Aguliera) and all of the other would-be "artists" (Mariah, your therapist is calling) that currently pass for the crop of musical luminaries eligible for grammies this year, not to mention the sycophantic morons that are needed as seat fillers for this self-congratulatory 4 hour televised disgrace to why music was invented in the first place. I am just guessing that is what he meant. While I hope that no bombs go off, I do hope Elvis wins every award he is up for. Nothing beats sending as many people home as possible knowing that they just lost to a guy who has been dead for 25 years. Stick that in your pie hole, Sheryl Crow. Coldplay doesn't suck, so I wouldn't mind them winning "summit" as they say in dear old blighty. Also, I am loosely rooting for the following: - Bruce Springsteen to lose in every category. 3,000 people died and you got a theme album out of it? Born in the USA was 20 years ago. Shut the phuck up already. - I am hoping Bonnie Raitt wins. I don't like her music (not my style), but I like the fact she isn't out there trying to be the 55 year old answer to Britney Spears (yes, Madonna, we remember you thinking you invented selling sex with music, you can die now). Also, any time we can get the phrase "Gnawing on it" said on TV, I'm for it. - Did anyone else know Robert Plant was still alive? I didn't. - I'd like to thank Avril Lavigne for making Ebonics safe for white people. "Sk8er Boi"? Please stop trying to spell like you are writing the "shout out" section of the liner notes for the Tupac greatest hits CD, okay? - Any win by Creed, in any category, may be taken as a sign of the apocalypse. If you are going to watch, consider bringing canned goods. - Anyone see the nominees for best male pop vocal? Craig David, Elton John, John Mayer, Sting, James Taylor. Are these not the 5 people that most barely qualify for the categorization of "male"? Please, Jesus, make sure the fate of the free world never relies on these five people in a fox hole. - The nominees for Best Pop Vocal Album remind me why I don't listen to FM, except to catch NPR. Yikes. Enjoy the show. I know I won't.
I know for sure that Bowling For Soup, Clinic, and The Soundtrack Of Our Lives got at least one vote each . I had an amazingly hard time giving a pair of tickets away to the ceremony...seems people are finally hip to the fact that these things suck badly in-person.
I pray to god Eminem doesn't win any Grammys. The fact that he uses so much foul language and is excepted as a mainstream artist and getting critical acclaim is very sad to me.
Yes! Someone is finally getting in the spirit of things! . This is more like it, finally. Watch the show? Who's gonna waste a Sunday night actually watching the damn show? Not I - but just looking at these nominees again, as I did for the first time in a while last night, has its morbid appeal. I haven't yet decided if I want the musicians I like to win or not - it's so much like winning a contest for the poisoned credibility chalice nowadays, innit? I hear your point about Bruce, especially with all the press's fawning pronouncements of him being America's Post 9/11 Poet Laureate (for my money, America's Post 9/11 Poet Laureate is much more likely to be, say, Wesley Willis) but I like The Rising a bit. Not with wild-eyed fervor, but a bit. He'll probably soak up a bunch of awards just on the back of sentiment; well, anything to keep crap-assest of the crap-ass Nelly, as well as that po-faced musical sleeping pill Norah Jones out of the running is fine by me. I've got the feeling she's going to win a few things anyway, which should ease the passage of her future recordings into the Excruciatingly Boring Adult Contemporary bin at Best Buy quite nicely. By then, no one will really care that she won 5 or 6 awards, beating out the Avril Lavignes and Britneys of the world. Thank the good Lord these awards don't half matter in the end, other than giving us something to laugh at years from now, when we're still listening to the really good albums of this crop like 'Behind The Music' and 'A Rush of Blood...', as well as the handful of truly remarkable ones, like 'Home'.
Ooo exciting stuff. Well... eminem is gona be like, dude, a real rebel by saying phuck and stuff like that eventhough he was told not to. Real mayhem folks.
They said on the news that one artist is gonna make an anti war statement. My money's on Sheryl Crow.
Next year, if you've got 'em and they're still in NYC, send them to me. I'd go for the hell of it. With regards to Bruce & "The Rising" -- more than half the album was written before 9/11, and the song most linked to 9/11, "My City Of Ruins", was written in 2000 about Asbury Park. Of the songs that are post-9/11, two ("Worlds Apart" and "Paradise") are sympathetic to the hijackers, which somehow has been totally missed by the mainstream media. Lyrically he's in Steve Earle territory. It's not his best album, it's not a great album, but like Born In The USA it's a lot more complicated than a lot of people think it is. Then again, I grew up at the Jersey Shore, where the local government bought every household a copy of Born In The USA and it was dropped off on your doorstep the day it came out. By the way, if anyone has tickets to Atlantic City on March 7th, PM me.
I'd put the over/under at 3 verbal/apparel protests IF CBS doesn't play the offending people offstage or kill the mics first. I can't believe I'm quoting off the Drudge Report, but here it is. http://www.drudgereport.com/cbs.htm CBS EXECUTIVES WANT NO 'ANTI-WAR' STATEMENTS DURING GRAMMYS **Exclusive** Top CBS executives are deeply concerned that Sunday night's GRAMMY Awards may turn from a celebration of music -- into a giant anti-war political rally, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned. **** During this week's BRITS award show, Coldplay's Chris Martin yelled out to the audience: "We are all going to die when George Bush has his way. But at least we are going to go out with a bang." The CBS executive warned microphones may be unplugged on Sunday night if live performances turn political.
It seems there's one established act that dominates the night (U2, Santana) and a new act that appeals to the Academy's sensibilities (Alicia Keys). So I'm expecting a big night for The Bruce and Norah Jones. Rap categories are a joke as always. Does the Academy really think they're reaching the yurban audience by randomly picking names and songs and nominating them for awards? The Eminem Show is about the only album that's close to being worthy of consideration, and they pick "Without Me", the worst and most uncharacteristic song in the album. Next year, The Roots, Jurassic 5, Talib Kwelli and Common will be up for consideration, but I have a feeling they will be ignored. Here are my picks for who should win and who I think will win: Best Alternative Music Album Should: A Rush Of Blood To The Head - Coldplay Will: Cruel Smile - Elvis Costello & The Imposters Best Rock Album Should: The Rising - Bruce Springsteen Will: The Rising - Bruce Springsteen Best Hard Rock Performance Should: Aerials - System Of A Down Will: All My Life - Foo Fighters Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal Should: In My Place - Coldplay Will: In My Place - Coldplay (I thought Creed might win here but I'm afraid it will happen if I pick them) Best Male Rock Vocal Performance Should: The Rising - Bruce Springsteen Will: The Rising - Bruce Springsteen Best Female Rock Vocal Performance Should: None. I can't pick Avril and I haven't heard the other ones. Will: Alone - Susan Tedeschi Best Pop Vocal Album Should: Missundaztood - Pink Will:Come Away With Me - Norah Jones (I could've picked No Doubt here as well. I thought both Pink and No Doubt had better "pop" albums than Jones) Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal Should: Egh. Will: Hey Baby - No Doubt Best Male Pop Vocal Performance Should: Hmmmm. Craig David? Will: Your Body Is A Wonderland - John Mayer (Great, he's now going to be "Grammy Award winning singer/songwriter. Ugh.) Best Female Pop Vocal Performance Should: None. Will: Soak Up The Sun - Sheryl Crow Best New Artist Should: Norah Jones by default Will: Norah Jones Song of the Year Should: The Rising - Bruce Springsteen, songwriter (Bruce Springsteen) Will: The Rising (Q: It took how many people to write an Avril Lavigne song? A: Four - Lauren Christy, Graham Edwards, Avril Lavigne & Scott Spock.) Record Of The Year Should: Ugh. Will: How You Remind Me - Nickelback (How did Nelly end up here?) Album Of The Year Should: Tie between The Rising and The Eminem Show Will: The Rising - Bruce Springsteen
Always here to take a shot at those more successful than I, you know that. On Jimmy Sturr, he looks like a creepy version of a 50 year old Robert Hayes (of Airplane fame) with Brent Musburger's toupee. (George Zipp said that?). And I dig the satin shirt with matching tie. Regis would be very put out see that he was beaten to the one color shirt/tie tacky scene by 30 odd years. My few remembrances of watching "who wants to be a millionaire" were of his metallic shirt/tie combos, but I digress. I take it special guests like Arlo Guthrie and Rhonda Vincent didn't perform at the wedding?
I hope some of you are watching Joan Rivers on E! right now. She's like a totally unwitting (or maybe a totally witting totally unwitting) Stuttering John with her schtick, and it's hysterical.
To the surviving members of TLC: "So, Left Eye, as we know, is dead. Do you plan on bringing in another singer?" To Nickelback: "There's 4 of you. How did you guys decide to stop at four?" To Queen Latifah: "Do you have groupies?" To the Dixie Chicks: "We all know how important producers without a gun can be to a project." To Kylie Minogue: "They love you in Australia, you know." Kylie: "Well, I am Australian."
I once read something that explained why Jimmy Sturr won every year. Apparently there are two different types of polka, and people are very provincial about the Chicago polka style that Sturr plays. Since he's the only Chicago polka nominee every year and other noms split the non-Chicago votes, he wins by default. I know nothing about polka, but it's fascinating to me that politics plays a role even in who wins the polka Grammy.