Oh DC United, please come to my aid. It's a family matter, you see. My father, resident of the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex is a casual fan of the Dallas Burn. His main interest in MLS, however, is to check the scores each week to see if United has lost. And he never fails to call and rub it in each time. So, I think you can imagine my plight. If United lose and the Burn knock us out of the playoffs, I will be taunted mercilessly for the next six months. No mercy, I tell you! Can you imagine Christmas at the albionroad household this year? It will be pure torture. Oh please DC United! Please help me! You're my only hope!