Did an AR on a U12 boys premier game last weekend, and it was the most enjoyable experience I have had in a long time. The coaches sat on the bench 95% of the time. They were not yelling at everything, and both coaches were acknowleding good play by both teams. After the kids exchanged handshakes with each other, they came over to the crew, shaked our hands and thanked us. Kinda floored all three of us.
I have have this happen several times each season. Maybe it's more prevalent in the midwest than where you are (I'm assuming pacref means you're near the pacific?). Recently in a U13 boys game, I had 4 parents come over after the game and state that it was the best refereed game they'd had all year. Those are the game that keep you coming back for more !!!
I get that all the time in my league. I have not made an effort to find a better league/higher level because of the partents/coaches/players reactions.
I'm seeing more and more of the above sporting behaviour - particularly with rec leagues more so than select teams. I like the trend.
social vales can change for the better itf we let it IF we want it to be better it will be. Keep repeating the positive only good can come from it. Social behaviour wants to laugh and enjoy and play the game. Let it be! Let it be!
In the Great Northwest this is standard behavior from Rec to U-19 premier - the players shake hands and then peel off to slap palms with the ref crew. The most important part of my pre-game to the kids when I am checking rosters and equipment is telling them that I have two important reasons for being there (1) to keep them safe, and (2) to help them have fun. I comment on good plays by individual players and look for ways to keep a light touch (i.e. when player tried to take a throw-in and dropped the ball, kicked it it down the line trying to picl it up and then tried to throw it in 15 yards down the line I blew the whistle and yelled "You can't recover your own fumble if its been advanced forward in the last 10 minutes" adverting to pointy football rules. Good chuckle from all. If we don't act as though we love the game and are having fun out there why are we there? Jim
I actually have a very similar attitude and find that it works very well with the kids but not adults. In the same vein as your pregame comments, my standard post-game reply to parents or coaches who offer praise for my work (if they offer praise) is, "Hey, it's their game, I just try to stay out of the way until they give me a reason to step in." That attitude goes a long way in reffing youth soccer.