But you don't know if a kid will like it unless they try. Usually there is some sign that a kid might have a propensity for the activity, otherwise, why sign them up? My kid at times seems to like toying around on the piano, he likes to cook, he likes to engage in various "sports" like throwing frisbee or kicking a ball. So then, sign the kid up for piano lessons, or soccer, etc. For one "season" of whatever activity, I think it is best to require the kid to try. If he doesn't like it after that then he doesn't have to continue. But whatever the activity, there's no reason the kid can't try (it could be a painting class, a dance class, whatever)... the kid has to try for a season. Yes, if they don't "try to kick the ball" I will take away TV time. He must try, I don't care what it is. We (parents) are too soft on kids these days.
In this case, where the dad has already put the kid in camps and the kid has played a lot and is still not interested, I would not continue putting him in soccer. I believe you can guide, and nudge, kids into certain things, but if it's not a good fit then it's not a good fit. Try some other activity. Not everyone will be a soccer player
As long as you aren’t just teaching him to avoid trying new things… I don’t think anyone disagrees with having our kids try new things and a desire/hope/expectation that they “try”…
Even at the extreme young ages, I think parents should ask kids before they sign them up "hey, do you want to play soccer/t-ball/dance/karate/whatever?". If they say "yes", then let them know they can't quit until the season is over. If the kids is repeatedly picking daisies every game, it doesn't take much to realize they don't like the sport. Why frustrate both of you by saying "try kicking the ball or you don't get to watch TV"? How about "If you try, we'll go get ice cream after."? Or whatever they like. Positive reinforcement vs. negative. Maybe you think that means we're too "soft". Our deal w/DS when he was young was he got a pack of Pokemon cards for every goal.
I think the parent should kick the ball around at home with the kid to determine if there is any interest or talent, and then sign up the kid based on that. There is a kid on our team who picks daisies and I know that they should not have signed him up. He's never played a lick of soccer. Kids don't always know what they like/dislike and they are also fickle; they may like soccer today and not tomorrow then like it again in 2 days. I guess yeah the kid's "opinion" should be factored in but the decision should be made by the parent. Kids are just too ignorant to know better. Why tether ourselves to the whims of kids, at some point it's too impractical. If a kid is picking daisies, they probably should not have been signed up in the first place. But if they are signed up, they need to try. At least that's what I would tell my kid. Luckily I haven't had to worry much about it personally as my kid likes to play soccer. I think positive or negative can work, might take some experimenting to see what gets better results, each kid is different.
You're right. Their interests can change day to day if not hour to hour. I think after the parent kicking a ball around and seeing interest, the next step would/should probably be getting the child signed up in a class/clinic and seeing how they do with other kids.
Unbelievable Well done for making the coach's job harder. Hopefully, all the other parents weren't encouraging their children to be completely goal orientated.
This should be fun… In any case, I once offered my son $20 a goal…he was 12, being pigeonholed as a CB, and had been for a while, and while at the time I wasn’t practically upset by that, I did have some understanding the even defenders need to know how to score…unfortunately, I never had to pay out….
So bribing a player to score goals teaches them how to do it? Not quite sure your motivation for doing that. It obviously didn't help your kid.
Not the point....as I wrote earlier, as parents we always have the best intentions, yet we don’t always get it right…if we are lucky we’re helpful, sometime we cause harm, most of the time, it's rather ambiguous… I was trying to encourage him to more aggressive in the opponents goal area, especially with corners and set pieces…was I wrong to try and encourage him to do so? I never played soccer and as such have zero ability to teach anyone how to score a goal or even how to properly kick a ball…
Yea, because those U6/U7 coaches (and that's when this was going on) really had a problem with it. I've seen parents offer kids (and I'm talking teenagers) money for goals in soccer and home runs in softball. And wait, you're complaining about encouraging kids to get goals when you've posted gleefully about running up the score against poor quality teams?
To add on to my own post, in hindsight, it is clear to me now, I was attempting to “fix” a problem that didn’t exist….the offer lasted less than a season and was forgotten mostly because my son just wasn’t interested…for better or worse, my son is a defender; he doesn’t care about scoring goals; he cares about stopping goals and clean sheets…ultimately, he’s going to be the player he wants to be, not the player I want or wanted him to be…
I think you are on to something here. I have seen this before in my buddy's son. He would complain that his son had seemingly zero interest in the game and would zone out at times in the game sometimes saying he didn't know what the score was. This looks like the same issue. I think they come up with the idea that they cant fail at something if they make it abundantly clear to everyone watching that they are not trying. The dad was also an enthusiastic sideline dad and was a very good soccer player. Maybe the kid realized he would never live up to expectations but still wants to play the game dad loves.
That's not true in the slightest. These are young children/youths who are learning about so much within the game. Having a strong work ethic and a growth mindset are two of the numerous attributes that a good coach (and parent) should be looking to instil within the young player. Writing a player off as either, having it, or not, is ridiculous.