Been awhile since I've been around, but with the fall season cranking up, I feel drawn back to these fine boards---lol. My U15 daughter is doing well on her new ECRL team, which had a runner-up tournament finish this weekend. Mind you, this particular squad didn't have much success at all in '20-'21, but they are a good group and they are showing signs of becoming an outstanding passing team. She played all along the back line (CB, RB, and LB) during the weekend matches, and was performing quite well (imo)---good defense, awareness, and high pass-completion rate. Did an occasional mistake occur? Well, sure...an errant long ball in the second match, to name one that resonated with her...but overall, she did her job and then some. She played for a high-end RL team last year, and this new one is scrapping to get to that level. Her presence on the squad is a major reason why this new team is dreaming of bigger things. Well, here's the point of the post: My daughter isn't happy with how she's performing in matches. She thinks that the player that she is in practice isn't translating over to the matches. She longs to be a dominant force on the field. From what I'm seeing, she is affecting the matches in very pronounced ways, but she has that other player---that supercharged version of herself---in her imagination who's bugging her to be better. Obviously, there's nothing wrong with having that "higher self" singing in your ear, but as her parent, I see the suffering that comes with it. Aside from telling her to keep doing the work and stay positive, I've got nothing. If I tell her that there's no way to predict when those higher-level characteristics will manifest themselves (hard work offers no guarantees about such timetables), the frustration just spills out everywhere...and who needs that, right? From past experience, I know that huge jumps in performance can/do happen overnight, particularly when one is obsessed with improving one's self, regardless of discipline or pursuit. And she has a healthy obsession with the sport. What I cannot tell her, though, is that there is no guarantee that such jumps will happen any time soon (or rather, "soon," as the 14-year-old mind interprets the word), or that they'll necessarily happen at all. It's a tough juncture to navigate. I'm aware that someone like Robert Johnson (blues) would advise a visit to the "crossroads," but I'm not sure that that's entirely healthy for the seeker in question. Ha!
Perhaps it's taking longer for her to see it because she's playing on a team where making a good, smart play doesn't reap immediate dividends as often? Maybe let her know that she's not doing anything wrong, it's just that soccer is a team sport and her teammates just need to catch up to her a little bit? Not sure your daughter would be receptive to that argument, but I had similar conversations with my son when he went through a somewhat different but related phase (he was doing some good stuff but his more aggressive, Type-A teammates were either not seeing his movement off the ball and therefore not passing to him, or were wasting good passes from him because they were dribble-loving ball hogs who wanted everything played to their feet instead of into space). FWIW.
She's playing with a unselfish group of girls, who---for the most part---know their roles, so the show-off factor isn't in play. The great thing about this team is that no one's trying to be a star; rather, there's a real feeling of camaraderie and an understanding that they all have to play together to get where they want to go. I am very impressed with the coach---level-headed, intelligent, friendly guy (ex-ACC player), who also has a pronounced, yet calm competitive streak. Daughter's problem is, I think, related to a desire to be one of those do-everything, offense/defense outside backs. When she was younger, and played at a lower level, she was able to play those OB positions and dominate defensively and offensively, regularly leading her team in assists and getting her fair share of goals. Her motor doesn't quite have those higher gears (yet) that she would like to have in her arsenal, but that's not for lack of training time. Patience is the key word here, imo, but as you know, the teenaged mind is a heckuva thing. She also has a personality that isn't ever truly satisfied with herself---a blessing and a curse.
I'm just shooting from the hip, but can you ask what exactly she'd like to see herself do better in games? Playing faster? Better passes? Better decisions? Communicating? Getting into space? Receiving the ball? Better shots? Better runs? Etc. Maybe find one or two things and say "let's just work on these two". Focus on one or two items until they're "mastered", then move on to others. EVERY player will have some bad plays in a match. I saw plenty of them in the USMNT game last night. The trick is to cut down on the number of bad plays.
1. My wife tells me that wtih girls, sometimes they just want to talk out loud ... depending on the mood. Not really looking for a solution. 2. I think it's good to wind down after a game as in not think about it. Look forward to the rest of the day. If it helps, maybe have a routine.
Have you talked to her coaches about this? Do they do assessments of the players? It sounds like you have the right mindset. But perhaps an experienced coach/trainer might be able to pin point the exact areas and provide some specific drills that could help her improve in the areas that she feels are holding her back from being the player she envisions.
Thanks for the replies, everyone! I've been a bit busy with---what else?---travel soccer. I'm also the team manager for my son's U11 squad, so finding time to think/ruminate is sometimes a luxury. All of the suggestions have merit, and indeed, I am applying bits and pieces of them as needed. Where player evaluations are concerned, her new club does it very effectively. This past week was the first time that I was able to see the system in action, and as it does a good job of employing feedback from players, she will have a solid season-long outlet for such things. The club also makes a concerted effort to cultivate good mental health in its players, which I appreciate. My daughter is a very intense kid, and this characteristic is something that she'll have to learn to manage as she gets older. Daughter's squad took a 1-3 loss to her former team (lol) yesterday, but she played very well at LB. Overlap runs, employment of dribbling/technical skills, and short passes were outstanding, while her defense was solid and reliable. She was happy with her performance, while noting that her long passes need more work. The problem yesterday was that she didn't play as many minutes as she felt she deserved (based on match/practice performance)---of the 6 goals scored against her crew in the last two matches (against good teams), 5 were tacked on while she was patrolling the bench instead of the back line. It was hard to argue with that assessment, but as I reminded her, her coach is new to this league, so he's adjusting just as much as the new players are.