Parents vs. coach: Battle goes wild

The article doesn't come right out and say it (just implies it) but the financially well-to-do parents are paying thousands of dollars to have their kids play on private club teams and then, based on the sales hype from the clubs, they expect that their kid will be a star on their high school team. When that doesn't happen then its the high school coaches fault of course. If only the coach had given their kid more playing time, she would have been all-league or all-state and had a college scholarship guarenteed.

Yes I agree it may apply to soccer as well.

 

Which it well might be; it's not as if high school coaches are immune to politics.

The idea of filing a lawsuit is absurd, but the notion that a high school coach might be playing favorites and/or bypassing better players, is certainly not.

 

Its a public high school.

The only distinction that needs to be made here is that in the case of a public school system, parents who believe their child is being (...fill in the blank...) by a coach use the old "but I am a taxpayer..." routine.

An underlying premise that lurks at or below the surface in many a public school environment is the threat (perceived or otherwise) by the district of some kind of legal action and/or bad publicity originating with these parents. The parents believe that the taxes that directly or indirectly wind up in their school district give them the right to act out to whomever, whenever. I've seen it first-hand as a spectator and as a former HS soccer referee.

There is a reason why some HS sports are facing shortages of officials/referees, and parent abuse is right up there at or near the top of the list. I've seen many coaches getting yapped at from agitated parents prior to the match, and the net result is that the abuse then gets redirected from the coach to the referees.

In a nonprofit youth club setting, the club can issue a refund and let the family seek exciting opportunities elsewhere. I've done that too.

 

I found the stuff about club coaches praising even the second-tier players "to the skies" to be quite strange, not in the least what I have observed in boys club soccer.

 

I remember reading this back when it first came out. A few things to point out:

1) It's CALIFORNIA - not the real world;
2) It's no worse than your garden variety club soccer program;
3) Did I mention it's California, and not the real world?

 

Castro Valley isn't really California, at least not when I lived there 25 years ago. Country music, pick-up trucks, and shotguns.

 

so it's texas?

i thought you guys said kids got to an age that they would tell their parents to quit the crap...not happening in this situation.

 

Pretty much, now that you mention it ... this whole thing feels Texas to me anyway. The land of cheerleader Moms.

True, I did. I can't see boys putting up with this, but girls apparently are wired a bit differently.

 

Maybe- but kids are changing- in an article on "helicopter parents" in college (!!!) the majority of kids said they liked their parents interfering. When I remember the rash of #$%^ I gave my mom for even contemplating speaking to one of my coaches...

 

i don't get it. my parents never misbahaved on the rail or in the stands but i got hurt pretty bad my jr year in a riding accident. my parents were told they had a winable lawsuit. remember, this was before everyoe was sue happy. when they mentioned to me that they were considerering sueing, i freaked out. end of lawsuit.

if all but one of the girls from last years team are trying out they must be okay with their parents behavior and or the coaches ways. nice mixed message to give. are these girls helpless or willing participants?

 

I see this is from 2006, so what happened ? I bet the parents were right and the girls team picked by the community won state, they all got D1 scholarships, or went straight to the WNBA....hehehe

 

got that right john..its more like "texafornia"...or nevadifornia

The only problem i have with this subject ..is that the "parents" should be more realistic...
over the last weekend..my dd played in goal for 2 games..the backup could "not" do what my dd was doing in goal..."so she didnt play"..if you asked the backup..why she was not in the game..she would tell you
"she is the starter..if she is hurt i will play"..but my dd is far better than her.
A couple of months ago..my dd's team played a boys team..scrimmaging...she was on the field and not in goal..when the score was 4-1..the coach said to the keeper

"Come on steph!"
The whole team almost turned around and yelled at him..
"put m****a in the boooox!!!"..and he did.
Its obvious most of the time who are the better players.
If a parent cant see that...its not the club nor coaches fault...its the parents for being close minded and not being practical.
Another thread was started last yr..called..
"delussional parents"..this could fall under the same title actually.
When the parents feel they are needed to help make the "critical" coaching and administration decisions for a "club" or competitive team....they destroy the experience the kids where going to recieve and deminish the potency of the club itself.

 

If that were true, California would be a red state, not a blue state.

 

There are so many of these helicopter parents on my daughters last team we ended up leaving at the end of fall season. There was so much jockeying and threats from parents that the coaches and DOC's gave in. I wanted my daughter coached by a coach, not a bunch of parents who thought they know better.

 

And if the surf's up next Tuesday I'm not wasting my time worrying about red or blue.

 

How to handle a coach that hands out captain bands then takes it back from the kids to give the whole team a chance to be captain? what kind of leadership are we teaching the kids?

 

Here is the follow up to the story.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/artic...DFMM7I032.DTL&hw=Nancy+Nibarger&sn=002&sc=776