OT:ya vodochki xlopnul...The Vodka Thread

Re: OT: Vodka appreciation thread

I got to say I’m not much of a connoisseur – having alcohol as the very last drug I’ve tried and the least favorite…. I will stand up for Grey Goose though’
– it is simply the best – it’s the only vodka that I actually can taste as different… well actually to have “no” taste – as should chilled vodka taste IMHO….

….Ahhh I remember the celebration of the turn of the century and me trying the old happy juice for the first time and for the first time vomiting on my friends boots because of his stupid suggestion: “why dontcha vomit – it will make you feel better” – so I instantly took his advice…

BTW if you have a hang over - activated charcoal is a must - they sell those pills in any GNC

 

Re: OT: Vodka appreciation thread

This is so much better than Grey Goose and less expensive...



If you like flavored Hangar 1 is the best:

 

Re: OT: Vodka appreciation thread

Razhdennim polzat ne dano letat. Ya planokur.

 

Re: OT: Vodka appreciation thread

See, Zenit, your basic failure is two-pronged and typical of a foreigner, though slightly surprising in such a cultured foreigner as yourself:

1) Assuming there is such a thing as a "quality difference" between different vodkas, while as an average Russian will tell you, even if there is one, he is in no condition to either notice or appreciate it. As a matter of fact, you will probably need to pour about 10 gallons of water over the average Russian's face to even get him to gurgle anything remotely coherent for any pigeons that may be passing by. Vodka, to put it in simple terms, is not consumed because of the nuances of its texture and bouquet. Remember, it was invented in a country where it's socially acceptable to drink scarecly diluted brake fluid and chase it down with nail polish remover.
A normal vodka's chief advantage over the above two substances is that it is slightly less likely to result in nuclear fission inside your digestive system.
It is quite a fascintating topic of discussion, to be sure, since it's generally the third question to be asked of any Russian by an American. After he's gone through the first two, which are usually "Wow, do you know the guy named Boris?" (The correct answer is "Yes, and tell the son of a bitch he owes me 2,000 bucks") and "So... Where in Russia are you from?" (The correct answer is absolutely irrelevant, because the American in question has never seen Russia on the map and knows no geographical names there besides probably "Siberia". Try it yourself and have a good laugh. Say "Oh, a place in the north-west called Mozambique" and see them nod understandingly), the third one will always be "So, what's the good vodka?"
The mere fact that this question is always asked reveals the basic mysterious appeal that our national brain-cell remover has over the more sane naions of the planet Earth. They see people drink it in large quantities, they assume there must be something good about it, but upon sampling it several times and invariably concluding that the taste, smell and effect on the nervous system is roughly similar to that of a radiation-sick mutant slug, they come to wonder whether they are having the right brand.
The correct answer, of course, is "Yes. Yes, you are. Always".

2) While there is no such thing as a "screwdriver", a Bloody Mary does indeed exist. You only have to drink it the right way, which was shown to me in Prague by a photojournalist whose idea of a quiet business trip usually includes places that end in "stan". Anyway, the key here is NEVER, ever, ever mix tomato juice with vodka. What you get this way is always a liquid that tastes like tomatoes that were left in a college-dormitory toilet for about 7 years.
Instead, pour yourself a tall glass of tomato juice (mixing in some pepper or Tabasco, if you feel like it) and carefully, very carefully pour a shot or two of vodka on top of it, making sure it floats effortlessly on top of the juice.
Then, if you are smart, pour it all down the nearest sink and go have yourself a Czech beer. But if you are Russian, drink it all down in one try. The juice will chase the vodka down nicely and provide a tolerable contrast in taste. Which you should always ask your friends to remind you of once you wake up next afternoon with your head wedged between the legs of your chair.

 

Re: OT: Vodka appreciation thread

but, I do like Inferno Vodka perzovka....oi, xorosha! Zenit you're all wrong about Inferno. It's kind of pricey but it's the best perzovka I've tried. It doesn't feel watered down. The only downside is the hangover (monsterous) and the insane farts the day after.


I think Skyy is probably the best American vodka. It has a very good quality to cost ratio, it's triple distiled (like Grey Goose) and it's only $15 per liter.

 

Re: OT: Vodka appreciation thread

Here's how to make a "proper" Bloody Mary.

1-make it with GIN. Vodka is a poor substitute.

Ok here goes:
fill the glass up with ice cubes

2 oz vodka
6 oz tomato juice
1/4 freshly squeezed lime juice
a few drops of Tobasco
a few drops of Worcestershire sauce

Stir, DO NOT shake, it will bubble if you do.



Garnish with a stick of salary or fried shrimps on a stick.

 

Re: OT: Vodka appreciation thread

A fine recipe, as long as your goal does not in any way involve getting the concoction anywhere withing three feet of your actual mouth.

 

Re: OT: Vodka appreciation thread

You make some good points Shurik, vodka is not a conneisseurs drinks. I drink it when I want to get ********ed up. There's little room for snobbery.

 

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Precisely the point! But we shall continue to convince Americans otherwise, since there are scant other opportunities to get them to spend money in Russia (the others being prostitutes and women's leather jackets).

 

Re: OT: Vodka appreciation thread

Imagine "Sideways 2: from Russia in a Coma" set somewhere in Voronezh visiting local distilleries.

 

Re: OT: Vodka appreciation thread

I had two of those and was able to walk out on my own power and chase it down with an enormous quantity of Urquell. Be warned, however, that the nervous and digestive systems of an overworked journalist on a European trip are not 100% related to those of actual human beings. I once wrote a 24,000-character article in about 10 hours with no sustinance other than a half-liter bottle of Slivovice, which was later discovered to have contained Stoli.
Your results may and will vary.

You are correct to outline the exact criteria, but truth be said, after you have sampled the Soviet "port wine", pretty much all commercial brands will easily fit it.

 

Re: OT: Vodka appreciation thread

As for the dreaded hangover, it can usually be avoided by the time honoured, yet extremely difficult to master secret technique of Not Drinking Yourself Stupid To The Point Of Being Positioned On the IQ Scale Somewhere Below Wall Plaster.

Vodka is very much a social drink, but one tends to become extremely intraverted when squatting over a toilet bowl, so do keep things in perspective. A loaf of Borodinsky, some sprats out of a can, cucumbers, sausage, good stories to tell and a bottle of Absolutely Anyting 40% And Above will make for a good Victory Day party. Retching from the balcony is really strictly optional.

 

Re: OT: Vodka appreciation thread

Well, sir, to be entirely honest I always thought it was a part of the ritual.

 

Re: OT: Vodka appreciation thread

Please to elaborate

 

Re: OT: Vodka appreciation thread

I love all salo, but I particularly favor the type of salo that has lots of red hot ground pepper on the edges..Yum.

My other favorites:
pickles
marinaded vegetables
scalions & salt
cold hard boiled eggs
shashlyk with hot georgian sauce

 

Re: OT: Vodka appreciation thread

marinaded/pickled mushrooms are great too

and don't forget Zavtrak Turista also known as Spam.

 

Re: OT: Vodka appreciation thread

Pelmeni. Definitely pelmeni.

 

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How come nobody mentioned Pizdyatina?

 

Re: OT: Vodka appreciation thread

Best brand of vodka? Why don't we have a thread on "best brand of fish fat"?

The only difference between vodka and fish fat is that the latter has some unexplained and frankly dubious health benefits, while vodka quite clearly provides great immediate improvements to one's previously depressed mood. Which is the only reason why I ever drink it, by the glass.

If one must drink vodka socially and outside of the company of macho Russians (say on a Cancun beach), it should be consumed in a taste-numbing mixture with orange or cranberry juice, or both.

 

Re: OT: Vodka appreciation thread

Someone should take you out to that cheerfull place featured in The Clockwork Orange for a few days.