MLS has begun an investigation into match fixing by DCU. According to sources, the league office found it incomprehensible that a "playoff quality roster" augmented by additional signings this window could have such a poor record.
Allstate has yet again declared that DC United doesn't qualify for their safe driver discount after too many wrecks this season.
I honestly can't figure out why DC United tries to have a webpage. I mean, does anyone here really think they can string three W's in a row?
Yeah. A friend who's a ManU fan was drowning his sorrows in a pub yesterday, and some guy came up to him and said "hey, it's still early, there's a lot of matches left to play this season." My friend replied that at this point, he wasn't sure that was very reassuring, and the other guy said that it wasn't meant to be.
Did they drive another plane off the runway or something? Crashing a plane with the whole team on it is a strategy DCU should consider too. Just think of all the TAM we'd get!
The best thing about being a DC United fan is how it's almost completely eliminated our need for sleep. After all, who needs sleep when you've been dead inside for years?
Wayne: You guys. You lollygag the ball around the backline. You lollygag your way back on defense. You lollygag on and off the pitch. You know what that makes you? Chad! Chad: Lollygaggers! Wayne: Lollygaggers. Wayne: What's our record, Chad? Chad: Six, Fourteen and Four. Wayne: Six, Fourteen … and Four. How'd we ever win six? Chad: It's a miracle. Wayne: It's a miracle. This... is a simple game. You pass the ball. You trap the ball. You shoot the ball. You got it?
Won't happen until we get a proper roof. Who remembers the rain delays at the Racoon's Lair with the 3 hour drum circles in the tunnels....?
If an alien landed in my back yard and demanded someone to eat, I'd drive straight to Dave Kasper's house with a net.
Wayne "Curt Onalfo" Rooney Rooney has 1 more point earned from his first 18 possible than Onalfo, but less goals scored!
Originally from South Western New York, being a DC United fan is starting to remind me of growing up following the Bills.
Someone on Reddit posted, "How long does it take Rafael Romo to learn from his mistakes? At least 13 times."