Off season sucks: 2014/15 Edition

First offseason Haiku for this thread.
________________
Winter falls again
While broken dreams linger like
unpaved parking lots

 

Howling winds doth blow
As Raccoons do go upon
Yellow urine fields

 

Roses are red
The Fire are blue
Hauptman sucks
Lron does too

 

Malört flows freely
Drowning twenty fourteen pain
Pray for Hauptman out

 

There once was a man from LA
In MLS he wanted to play
So he bought the Fire
But the results were so dire
The fans wanted to send him on his way

 

The season is over
The cold has set in
So we drown our sorrows
In Malört and gin.

 

tradition honor passion
in Hauptman they are lacking
no transfer window action

 

As the racoons watch
The men in red do turn blue
Caused not by winter


In the ground heating
Cannot bring green to the brown
We can fertilize

 

Where do I get malrot

 

Many small mom and pop liquor stores in Chicago carry it. This map should show every liquor store or bar that carries Malort: http://www.malortmap.com/

Binny's carries it, so you could order it online (never tried ordering from them, not sure how it works) :thttp://www.binnys.com/spirits/Jeppsons_Malort_112991.html

 

Beware if you've never had / tried Malört. It's a bit of a shock the first time you try it.

 

Reading is fundamental guys

Alex quoted loonixx who wrote mal-rot.

What's red and white and blue all over?
Chicago Fire fans in their old jerseys.

 

Don't listen to these Jesters.

Malort tastes amazing. Don't mix it with anything. It's goes down so good that you don't even need a chaser.

 

Yes, Malört should never be mixed.

 

The Fire suck
There is no doubt
No reason to pout,
It must be "bad luck"

 

In Hauptman we trust
Oh yes, some say
We will win any day
Says iron81, aka rust

 

Okay, I need to stop drinking now...or drink more

 

I'm waiting for Hauptman
26 Dollars in my hand
Up to Skyway, 205
Feel sick and dirty, more dead than alive
I'm waiting for Hauptman

Hey, raccoon, what you doin' uptown?
Hey, raccoon, you chasin' our Fondy around?
Oh pardon me sir, it's the furthest from my mind
I'm just lookin' for a dear, dear friend of mine
I'm waiting for Hauptman

Here he comes, he's all dressed in navy
PR flacks and a MLSNEXT hat
He's never early, he's always late
First thing you learn is you always gotta wait
I'm waiting for Hauptman

Up to the Star Club, up three flights of stairs
Everybody's drawn us, but nobody cares
He's got fireworks, gives you sweet taste
Ah then you gotta split because you got no time to waste
I'm waiting for Hauptman

Sparky don't you holler, Magee don't you bawl and shout
I'm feeling good, you know I'm gonna work it on out
I'm feeling good, I'm feeling oh so fine
Until tomorrow, but that's just some other time
I'm waiting for Hauptman

I'm walking home

*Please note that "sweet taste" refers to ice cream nachos, not heroin

 

well fvcking done, sir.

 

By the way, I chose the latter.

 

Klinsmann's roster for two November friendlies was released and once again, Fondy was omitted.

 

I told you Klinsmann was a shitty coach.