Notice to all Patriots

Discussion in 'Politics & Current Events' started by dfb547490, Sep 21, 2003.

  1. dfb547490

    dfb547490 New Member

    Feb 9, 2000
    The Heights
    ATTENTION: A NOTICE TO ALL TRUE PATRIOTS

    The Taliban and Al Quaeda cannot stand nudity and consider it a sin to see a naked woman that is not one's wife. Therefore, next Saturday afternoon, at 2:00 p.m. PST, all North American women are asked to walk out of their houses completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.

    Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this important anti-terrorist effort. All men should position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their homes to prove that they think it's OK to see other women nude and, therefore, are NOT terrorist collaboraters. Furthermore, since the enemy does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is highly recommended as further proof of your anti-Taliban/Al Quaeda sentiment.

    Finally, in order to signify that your neighborhood is indeed terrorist-free, please forward photographic evidence of your patriotic act to http://www.bigsoccer.com for intense analysis.

    Notify the appropriate authorities of any people who do not participate. Your efforts to root out terrorists will be greatly appreciated and indicate your desire to demonstrate your true patriotism. To achieve 100% participation, forward this notification to other similar-minded patriots.

    Remember: Be Patriotic - Be Safe - Be Naked!
     
  2. BenReilly

    BenReilly New Member

    Apr 8, 2002
    I thought you were limiting your drinking to the evenings.

    By they way, most women (and men, I suppose) you don't want to see naked. Really.
     
  3. yellowbismark

    yellowbismark Member+

    Nov 7, 2000
    San Diego, CA
    Club:
    Club Tijuana
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    most of the conservative patriots in this country don't like to see naked women either.
     
  4. dfb547490

    dfb547490 New Member

    Feb 9, 2000
    The Heights
    Wish I could take credit for this, but I found it on another message board.

    True, but I live on a college campus that is known for having some of the hottest chicas anywhere in the country. I'll take my chances.
     
  5. MikeLastort2

    MikeLastort2 Member

    Mar 28, 2002
    Takoma Park, MD
    The Taliban and Al Qaeda? I thought we already smoked all of them out of their holes. Who cares what they think?
     
  6. champmanager

    champmanager Member

    Dec 13, 2001
    Alexandria, VA
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    Kazakhstan
    Especially most American women (and men, I suppose).
    Shut down Mcdonald's, and Krispy Kreme, and come back to us with that idea.
    Its hard enough to look at most people with their clothes on.
     
  7. mannyfreshstunna

    mannyfreshstunna New Member

    Feb 7, 2003
    Naperville, no less
    Liz Hurley....scrumtrelescent

    What did she see in that Hugh Grant?

    I heard his upcoming movie is titled "What's My Appeal?"
     
  8. RichardL

    RichardL BigSoccer Supporter

    May 2, 2001
    Berkshire
    Club:
    Reading FC
    Nat'l Team:
    England
    well you could just try looking at the young women rather than the 40 plus-ers. Still, if middle-age spread is what gives you your kicks, and you like your women to have boobies all saggy to give you something to hang on to, then go for it. At least we don't have stupid laws banning topless sunbathing over here in europe. Perhaps you enjoy the 'fetching' bikini-top headlights look your girls get when they sunbathe. Of course with your longing for the over 40s, you'd probably just be pleased with a woman who can peg hers out to use as a windbreak on the beach.
     
  9. GringoTex

    GringoTex Member

    Aug 22, 2001
    1301 miles de Texas
    Club:
    Tottenham Hotspur FC
    Nat'l Team:
    Bolivia
    Sunbathers in England? Link, please.
     
  10. Nico Limmat

    Nico Limmat Member+

    Oct 24, 1999
    Dubai, UAE
    Club:
    Grasshopper Club Zürich
    Nat'l Team:
    Switzerland
    Getting really desperate, eh? Another freshman girl tell you the following?

    "Please don't breathe on me, you're bleaching my eyebrows."
     
  11. GringoTex

    GringoTex Member

    Aug 22, 2001
    1301 miles de Texas
    Club:
    Tottenham Hotspur FC
    Nat'l Team:
    Bolivia
    True, but you're in ROTC, so they think you're a fucking dork.
     
  12. mannyfreshstunna

    mannyfreshstunna New Member

    Feb 7, 2003
    Naperville, no less

    Yea but Alex has cornered the ROTC girls market.
     
  13. bostonsoccermdl

    bostonsoccermdl Moderator
    Staff Member

    Apr 3, 2002
    Denver, CO
    paging the MILFHUNTER.......
     
  14. chibchab

    chibchab Member

    Jul 8, 2002
    New Jersey
    Nat'l Team:
    United States

    I'm all for solutions guys! Let's import some Brazilian, Colombia and Venezuelan girls to complete this important National Security task.
     
  15. firstshirt

    firstshirt Member+

    Mar 1, 2000
    Ellington, CT / NK, RI
    Club:
    New England Revolution
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    [​IMG]


    Hows this for patriotic.
    I wrote this on the side of a 250 pounder on its way to Iraq during the war a few months ago
     
  16. RichardL

    RichardL BigSoccer Supporter

    May 2, 2001
    Berkshire
    Club:
    Reading FC
    Nat'l Team:
    England
    Mike, I like your style too. You have originality, a sense of humour, and as you've displayed already on this thread, the guts to come clean about your preference for wrinkly skin. It was not anything as base as 'smack' I was attempting. I was merely showing my admiration for you in owning up to your unusual appreciation. You want to bang an old prune - you go for it! Don't let the stunned silence and retching of your friends put you off. So what if your dates are so saggy you have to use car bodyfiller rather than lubricant to make the intimate moments more enjoyable? You shouldn't be ashamed, and I'm glad you're not.

    Well it's hardly surprising it is in girls so young? We know you search for perfection, but for you teeth are only perfect if you can take them out and put them in a jar to soak ovenight, so they're bound to not match up. It must have been frustating as you browsed that site and realised they were all a minimum of 15 years, preferably 30, from your ideal range, but we just have more sadly conventional tastes over here.


    One of Victoria Beckham's little toes has gone solo. Apparently it's the bit of her that has all the talent.

    why? was that the one that interested you most? I have to admire you. You play the percentages really well. There is a chance that the picture might have really been taken 20 years ago. I say you have nothing to lose.


    The secret is out. maggie thatcher was a mad old cow, probably the original source of BSE.

    But I'd bet you still show her a thing or two, eh?

    the English had several hundred years of crapping on everyone in the world from a great height. Why should today's youngsters be denied their fun?

    I didn't look but I'm sure she's hideous, as most women who need to beg for a shag probably are. I've no problem at all with having mingers in this country. There's that old saying about how if you feel a bit down, you should always remember that there's someone worse off than you. It's great being able to walk down any street and being able to point those people out, because lets face it, if you live in a world where you think most people are attractive, that means that most of them think you're ugly. Put in that sort of situation you'd be likely to become desperate and go for oldies instead. Oh.
     

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