Here are a few of my humble suggestions for new rules: 1) The back of Roy Keane's shirt, instead of saying "Keane," would say "Village Idiot." 2) Women's teams playing on the road will be designated as the "skins." 3) Instead of merely printing a logo of the team's sponsor on their shirt, they must carry, in their hands, a sample of their sponsor's product (This would, of course, give, say, Blackburn a unique advantage over WBA.) 4) Nicky Butt's name, instead of being printed on the back of his shirt, would rightly be printed ont he back of his shorts. 5) De Kock's name, similarly, would be placed on the front of his shorts.