(NCR) Coaching Youth Soccer

Been lurking for a while but thought this a good place to dip a toe in the BS water. Lots of really good advice and a few things that are well meaning but maybe not the best path for 4-6 year olds. First, kudos to you (ChElsey) for stepping up to work with a youth soccer team (and several others who are obviously coaching as well).

Understand that this is a journey & learning experience for you and the other parents as well. It should be fun for all of you as well as the kids. Involve the parents when possible (snacks, coordination of team functions, help with training if needed, etc.) and ask them to be active in their child's soccer life. Just a few minutes of kicking the ball around with their child at home makes a huge difference. Soccer is a family thing, a friend thing, a community thing, a FUN thing. My children still have many strong friendships with the kids they played soccer with years ago. We have many family friends forged at trainings and games. Sure, some come and go thru the years, but you'll be surprised at how many are still on your journey together thru high school and beyond.

Second, understand the children and their age. Markus and the kids are in the FUNdamental stage of development. Stress fun above all else and then fundamentals. Know that they are in the "Me and MY Ball" stage and accept it. They are not adults, nor even close mentally, biologically or psychologically even to puberty. They don't want to share the ball nor should we put that restriction on them. A 3v3 game is actually a 1v5 game. Everyone wants the ball and that should be encouraged. This is not to say you shouldn't explain why taking the ball from a teammate isn't the best option. More along the lines of "if Johnny loses the ball and can't get it back, then I want you to try and get the ball back and dribble to goal. When you have the ball I hope your teammates give you the time to dribble to goal too." If Markus (or any child for that matter) is good enough that you feel a restriction is necessary, then the restrictions should be placed on Marcus dribbling, not asking him to "share" the ball with a teammate. "OK Marcus, you must now perform a perfect pull-back before you can shoot." OR "Marcus you may only dribble with your non-dominant foot before going to goal (get creative)." This can present a problem when other parents don't understand these concepts and view the activity thru and adult lens and not a child's perspective. Children have not yet learned the skills of compromise and team play. Some (most) will be several years away from understanding and implementing these skills.

Finally, motor skill development is of paramount importance in this age group. Crawl > Walk > Run > Jump > Hop. Like learning to dribble the ball is a process, learning to control our body is a process as well. Controlling a round object with our feet is incredibly difficult even for adults. Children need emphasis on the use of body parts, motion, coordination and balance with and without the ball. Try to incorporate these physical components into all training.

Seems daunting right? Not really. You, the kids, the other parents will make mistakes along the way. No worries, learn from it, then forget it and move on. Enjoy it. Last bit of advice. Always be positive. The general rule has been 5-7 positive coaching comments for any 1 negative comment. At this age I would suggest NO negative comments ever. 1 negative comment will be remembered by the child even though you have given 20 positive. TRY to only give positive feedback and reinforcement. It is very difficult to do but a young child's response to "that's not right" is very different to "can you do it this way next time?"

 

I had them do it where each team could score on one goal (basically threw a pinny in each goal to match each teams pinny)

They absolutely loved it.

I probably should have tried to teach with it a bit more than I did, but, whatever at age 7 i want them to have fun and enjoy the game, not feel like it's a drill they have to do (though I do try to get them some touches and foundations every day, which is a bit drill like for them).

 

The only time I ever intentionally "went negative" was when they would tease or harass one of their own teammates (more than the usual joking amongst kids). We did not want that happening on our team.

 

Yeah I agree there.

Unfortunately our team (U7 Girls) played a team with a coach with an opposite philosophy yesterday. I’ve never been so close to pulling my team off the field as I was yesterday.

Other team had two coaches constantly calling our girls cheaters, yelling at and putting down their own girls, and at one point their coaches yelled at one of my team’s parents to shut up (because he heard a comment about how negative he was being).

Reported him, but I’m sure nothing will come of it. Gotta love when grown men prop up their egos by putting down 6 year old girls. Real classy.

 

I depends if they know what they are doing.

Ex 1)

Kid has their arms out and is trying to get in front of another kid because that is what coach says to do.

I tell them not to grow wings. They put their arms down and there is no more pushing.

Ex 2)

Kid is way bigger than other kids. His momentum knocks other kids around.

Teach him to dribble into space, with his head up. He might get called for fouls, but they are not his fault and teaching him to be hesitant in challenges will only set him back later.

Ex 3)

Kid is just pushing or kicking kids without concern for their well being.

Time to talk to the kid’s parents about what is expected. Talk to the kid as well about what it is you would like to see him do. But communicate with the parents that if he acts in a way that is dangerous to others you will substitute him out of the game.

 

Well at least you won't get yelled at by the parents for benching a kid.

Some people's kids...

 

I have the opposite problem. My girls are too nice and complain when they get pushed a little by the opposing team. I've had a few chats with them. I make it extremely clear to them I do not want them to cheat or foul. But I tell them they have to play through it and I tell them what they are allowed to do and not allowed to do and how I want them to respond/play.

When it was U6 req, I repeatedly had to tell one girl to keep her arms down. Although in retrospect, I probably should have been more lenient on her, I think that made her too timid.

 

Thanks, I'll use Chesley going forward.

Haha, well teaching is in your blood sooooo. It's been a few years but I think the site is Positive Coaching Alliance. A nice resource for coaches, especially those coaching young players or new to coaching. The basic idea that kids can easily grasp is the ELM tree of mastery and the ROOTS that hold up the tree. ELM stands for Effort, Learning and Mistakes, the 3 components needed to move toward mastery of a sport. Then ROOTS which deals with respect. Honoring the game begins with respect for Rules, Officials, Opponents, Teammates and Self. Everyone will commit fouls at some point. However the difference between an intentional foul and that which occurs in the natural flow of a game (unintentional) is based upon respect.

 

Try this video for some ideas. First game they demonstrate is Everyone’s it , and that sounds like something along the line of what you are looking for!

 

Chelsey, hard to say with kids at this age. Could be many things and it's usually not the drills/games. Could be an "off" day for them (not enough sleep, didn't eat well, tired from daycare, etc.) Could just be their nature at this age. Some children just don't have an interest in soccer or sports (maybe they will grow into it, maybe they won't). I've literally (no joke) had kids stop dribbling a ball (during games) and leave the field to chase a butterfly that went fluttering by them. Or refuse to play because someone else has the same cleats or ball that they have. That's part of the wonder and joy of coaching the U-Littles. First, make sure to enjoy it a bit. They will never be here (this place and time of their lives) again and you probably won't get to experience it with this age group in the future. As much as you are the "coach" and "in control" ... you are not. They will do as much "teaching" as you do, and will only give you as much control as you earn from their perspective.

So what to do? Be the adult, but think and act like a child. Your foremost job is their safety. If all else fails, explain that their choice NOT to participate, means you MUST remove them from the field for their safety and the safety of the other children. They may sit near the beach or bags or other safe area so they won't be hit with a ball or run over by a pack of kids. This removes them from harm and additionally removes them from what they probably seek ... attention. This is the tricky part, you want to engage them, but not to the point where they get the reward of attention for actions that are counter-productive. Lavish attention on the behavior you want to promote and lessen attention on the other. They will see this and figure out which is the better option for getting what they desire. Of course, continue to try and reengage them. It's a fine line between ignoring them and rewarding the counter-productive.

Now think like a child and give them the attention they crave in ways that promote their participation. Switch roles. This is where a good relationship with the parents pays dividends. Let the kids become the coach/teacher. Have the kids teach their parents a skill or perform a drill. They will start to understand your role and the frustrations/joys you experience. Make sure the parents fail a bit and also succeed a bit. Maybe after a bit one of the parents sits down and refuses to play. What do the children do? How to they resolve the issue? Ask them to come up with a way to get parent X involved again. You just might be surprised with their creativity. You might see them mimic your coaching style to both pride and/or embarrassment. The kids get a voice in their training and a measure of control. They get the attention and focus of the parents and you as well. They get to problem solve from an unexpected position and work together as a team. Surprise them ... think like a kid ... you got this!

 

This is brilliant advice. It really does speak to how many different things impact the way kids perform on any given day. Try to look at each kid on the team and get a feel for what motivates them, and in some cases who motivates them. I've got a girl on my team that never plays well when her real dad shows up. Sad but true, and not much that I can do about it other than being extra encouraging to her on those days.

For my daughter what works is ICEE's from Speedway. Want one? Score a goal. Want the really big one? That'll be three goals. I make sure to reward her for effort too though. So if she doesn't score, but she dives in and saves a few goals I tell her that was as important as scoring so those count too.

Motivation! It works. But it is different for everyone!

 

I was going to ask if you tried bribery. I had a parent on my indoor team bribe her daughter and it worked pretty well.

Granted, you can't bribe all the kids on your team.

 

sharks and minnows can be a good warm up.

you can join in with them. They always seem to like when they're all sharks against the coach.


One thing I've done to encourage more physical play is ball wrestling. two players start with their hands on one ball. When you yell go they try to wrestle/rip the ball out of their opponents hands.

Then I graduate to what I call "Coach Says". 2 players stand on either side of a ball. I call out a body part for them to touch (Head, shoulders, knees, shins, toes, etc.). When I say ball first to grab it wins. If they both grab it at the same time they have to wrestle it away. I stole this from another coach in our U7 academy, i was surprised how much the kids loved it, it was a good short way to end a practice on a high note, but it may also be a way to get your kids raring and ready to go for a game.

 

Thanks for the kind words. And you touch on an area I was avoiding. Parents and family life have a big impact on the kids at this age. Overwhelmingly positive on the whole, but as you mention, sometimes in negative ways. Additionally you mention motivating on an individual basis. Absolutely true. And at this age children don't really grasp the concept of a team and what that means. Sure they know they are ON a team, but don't comprehend what "playing together" really means. Their satisfaction and enjoyment is equated to want they did or didn't do on an individual basis regardless of how the team performed.

Ha, too much in your head I think. That's actually a fine quality and points to how much you care. But don't overthink it or doubt your ability. It takes years and years of the finest quality of coaching and education before we are able to break them from being kids. LOL Kids will be kids and if you think for a moment your inability to change them from their ways, in less than a season, reflects on your ability ... well ...

Just keep doing your best and leading them to the water ... they'll drink when they are thirsty.

 

I appreciate this. Now that I'm technically a "professional" club coach (again U8 Girls), my girls often lose focus, talking about school, singing and dancing, etc., and my assistant coach get's rather upset about it sometimes, I tend to think he expects too much and it's 7-8 year old girls acting like 7-8 year old girls. But I always wonder if I'm too lenient on them (granted it could be both).

 

I've been enjoying this thread quite a bit. I got roped in to being an assistant coach of my son's 3rd and 4th grade rec team for the spring season when the head coach and his son quit after the fall. It's frustrating due to the WIDE range of skill level. One kid is a dribbling phenom, but can't seem to get the ball out from under his feet to make a pass...so he doesn't (he can crush a shot though for some reason). My son is a jack of all trades, is starting to read the game better, but lacks some bite and confidence. The rest of the team is a hodgepodge of kids who can't use the instep and have no understanding of the game at all. Our last 2 games have been crushing defeats. We're trying to incorporate fun into practices as much as possible because the games have not been fun at all and this thread has been helpful.

This brings me to my next thought. We're going to dip our toes into club soccer and tryouts are coming at the end of month. I'd like my son to have a chance to make a team. I think he'd get much more out of it if he could actually pass to a teammate with some confidence that they can do something with it. Anything I should know or anything I should work with him on before the tryouts? We've got 3 weeks so I was thinking if we could focus on something that they're looking for we could see some improvement there if we put in some work.

 

Shortened version of a longer, now deleted reply. My advice for you and your son...

1. Be aggressive
2. Work hard and don’t quit - especially after making a mistake. He will make mistakes but tell him the best players & professionals make mistakes every game.
3. Relax a bit and have fun with it.

Tryouts IMHO are minimally about skill. Mostly about 1 & 2. It’s an imperfect process. That’s one of the problems with most youth clubs.

 

Girls are more social and it's an area that will require some skill and creativity on your part. U-6/U-7 is the Fundamental stage and it's all about "me and my ball". Everything is geared toward an individual relationship with the ball, movement and motor skill development and basic fundamentals with the ball.

U8/U9 begins the "Learning to Train" stage of development. It is also referred to the "Me and My Partner" stage. Focus is on learning fundamental soccer skills. Dribbling, passing, shooting, defending, etc. In addition you are teaching them HOW to train. In this regard, it isn't unreasonable to start placing expectations on them. I would suggest a quick team "meeting" before each session to briefly discuss what you expect. You should probably repeat the same basic "meeting" several times so they realize "how they train" IS important.

This isn't where you go Knute Rockne on them for 10 minutes either Simply explain that you expect them to:

Arrive on time, with water or some form of hydration, in the proper clothing/uniform, wearing cleats and shin guards, with a ball that is properly inflated.

They may goof around, talk with each other, play games or generally be kids all they want up until the start of training. At that point you now expect several other things from them:

They should be attentive and focused to the best of their ability, they should give their best effort in all they do that session, they should be ready and willing to learn something new or get better at what they do know, they should NOT be afraid to fail or make a mistake in front of you, their teammates or parents.

Now it's up to you to payoff on their commitment. Let them know if they can do those things for you, they will: Have fun, get better at their sport, get into good shape, become a team and form lasting friendships.

Of course this is training to train. Just like learning a new skill, they will have successes and failures. They will have times of distraction but if you keep working at it they will pickup the skill of "how to train". Just remember they are still young. 45 min to 1 hour tops for their ability to be focused. If you go past that then the problem is yours and not theirs Again, be creative and give them a 5 min "chat break" or "dance break" or "karaoke break" if you feel the need.

 

I just touch on this quickly. STL's advice is pretty good. Be aggressive, work hard, don't quit, be positive ... be yourself too. Best advice is to contact the clubs you are interested NOW. I assume you have narrowed it down to 2 or 3 based on location/proximity. Of course most clubs have their own "personality" as well, but that's another discussion.

Politely explain your situation (looking to possibly move to club from rec) and ask if they are able to have your son join them for a training session. If that isn't possible, can you (and son) stop out and just watch a training session. It may not be possible, but most clubs will try their best to accommodate you.

This serves several purposes, but most importantly it can answer the question: Is this the club for you (your son)? Is this the trainer/coach for my son? Is club soccer what we want? Ask the coach for some feedback. You will get a pretty good feel for: Where does my son fit? Do they have a team that works for him? Does he like the coach, kids, style of training and play? All important information to have BEFORE you go to a tryout cold. May take a bit of effort as tryouts are coming soon, but try and get to 2-3 different clubs for a training if you can.

Honestly, most clubs of any size will have a place for your son. More importantly, is it the right fit for your son?