Look, I know you guys will freak out at me over this, but I have to say it anyway: Have any of you considered the possibility that the Columbus Crew is the real-life version of "Major League"? That Sigi is really Lou Brown, and Clark "Rachel Phelps" Hunt interrupted him while he was quoting some whitewalls one day and asked him to come coach the team? That what they're really hoping is that they can wreck this team so badly that attendance will dwindle to nothing and they can move the team to Florida? Just remember: it's very bad to steal Jobu's rum.
from MLSNet 17 and 18 will have to pony of $40 mill. If owner number 19 offers anywhere close to $40 mill for the Crew's spot, we're done.
Yeah, we get a really great striker with a rocket of a shot, but he always misses the goal, until that day that they get him the BCD's and then we win the MLS Cup!
SCENES FROM FLORIDA.... Clark: "Here is a list of players I will be inviting to camp." McCullers: "I never heard of half of these guys, and the ones I have heard of are way past their prime." Bliss: "Most of these guys never had a prime." Sigi: "This guy here is dead! Clark: "Well, cross him off then." ------------ Sigi: "How is the knee Duncan?" Duncs: "Great! Never been better!" Sigi: "Mobility's good? You can get stuck in?" Duncs: "No problems, mate." Sigi: "I need a d-mid, Duncan. Somebody who can keep this team together on the field. So I want the absolute truth here-- are you 100 percent?" Duncs: "Would I bulls*** you?" Sigi: "You'd better, if you want to make this team." ------------- McCullers: "Hi Lars? This is Mark McCullers, GM of the Columbus Crew." Ricken: "Ja..." McCullers: "I'd like to say that our organization has very fond memories of your time at Borussia Dortmund, and we'd like to invite you spring training as our designated player." Ricken: "Who is this?" McCullers: "What?" Ricken: "Is that you, Torsten? This isn't very funny, you know. I'm hung over. My knees are killing me. And if you were going to pull this s***, at least you could have said you were from D.C United." -------------- McCullers: "Here's Eddie Gaven." Sigi: "Wasn't he an All-Star in New York?" McCullers: "Yeah." Sigi: "I wish we had him two years ago." McCullers: "We did." Sigi: "Four years ago then." --------------- Sigi: "You may run like Mays, but you cross like s***. Every time you hit a cross out of bounds for a goal kick, you owe me 20 push-ups." Frankie: "No worries, dude." (Frankie hits cross behind the goal.) Frankie: "S***." (Frankie starts doing push-ups.) -------------- Sigi: "I'm not much for inspirational speeches, but I just want to point out that every forum on BigSoccer has picked us to finish dead last. The local BigSoccer posters seem to think we'd save everybody a lot of time and trouble if we just went out and shot ourselves. Me, I like to waste anonymous internet dorks' time. I'm for hangin' around and seein' if we can give all these guys a nice big shitburger to eat."
Every single person on these boards currently eligible to give rep to Sirk needs to do so now. Was there any doubt that Sirk would be the one to see this topic and fill in all the blanks? Well done.
from a couple of weeks ago: https://www.bigsoccer.com/forum/showthread.php?p=13771348#post13771348 nice post, by the way, sirk
You know, screw Sirk. It's all his fault that no one has rep for him. If he'd write some crappy stuff once in a while, then I wouldn't get the "out of rep" message for him all the time. No, but he has to be funny every time he writes. What kind of life is that anyway? Am I funny all the time? No! But he has to be so special. So, screw him.
Scene: KC Training Game Jason Garey attempting to score a goal on a diving header, goes into head first slide. Unfortunately, he comes up two feet short of the ball and the ball slowly rolls to Kevin Hartman. Hartman waiting for Jason to get up makes a motion for him to keep coming. Garey flips him the bird.
MAN - "What team do you play for, Will?" WILL HESMER - "The Crew." WOMAN - "Here in Columbus? I didn't know they still had a team. HESMER - "Yeh, we have uniforms and everything. it's really great."