Ah with the Memorial Day tournament the new season starts and I try to get the old aging Brain Housing Group back up to speed. I had a premiere GU-12 center yesterday and I was amazed at the intensity for early in the year. It may have been the most physical GU-12 game I have ever reffed but for the most part it was shoulder to shoulder or the raised arms were equal on both sides. With U-Littles "letting them play" is contentious often because the parents aren't experienced enough yet to understand that this is a game of physical contact and the fact that their little darling has done a face plant on the grass is not necessarily a sign of a foul. In addition, U-12 girls tend to be very "coltish" with their bodies sprouting and coordination not caught up yet. So there can be lots of contact that is just clumsiness. Both coaches had obviously taught their girls to play aggressively so I figured that so long as the contact was mutual, no one got an advantage by the mutual sloppy arms, and tempers didn't flare that I would pretty much blow only the egregious fouls. It turned out to be a good decision, I think because the losing coach said "Thanks for letting them play" after the game. The best part though reminded me why I keep doing this long after my kids are gone from the youth programs. The winning team (2-1 score) had a girl who had no arms - or just stubs of arms with hands at the end. She scored the first goal for the winning team and her screams of joy and those of her teammates and the parents (of both teams) were truly amazing. She was good with the feet but had trouble changing direction quickly becuase she has no counterwwights in the arms. But she was out there and there was no consideration offered by the opponents for her "handicap" - they treated her just as a player. This game has so much to teach and so many gifts to give for the kids. I consider myself fortunate to be able to contribute. Jim
We have a player in michgan who has only one arm and a very small part of another. He is one of the quickest young men I have seen at his age. In addition, His opponants have nothing to grab ahold of! Makes for a great combination. I have seen deaf kids where thier teammates had to raise thier hands to let them know that there has been a whistle. Two weekends I thought a U15 girl was going to cough up a lung her asthma was so bad. About every 10 minutes she would sub out to catch her breath. I remember a kid who had been previously burned so bad that he couldnt sweat properly and had to have water poured over him to stay cool. Anytime you start feeling down about your conditions, go to a soccer complex and watch the young people overcome stuff that most of us take for granted. Makes the things I have to deal with seem rather small in comparison.
Even at the recreational level, the intensity on the field can be surprising. At one point a couple of weeks ago, I had two girls going at it the entire game. They were two of the best players on the field and ended up facing off against each other most of the game. Right after the second half started, both of them collided and fell to the ground. I walked over and told them that they were both playing tough, but fairly, and I was going to let them continue to play this way as long as they were playing the ball and keeping their hands down. I asked them if this was okay by them, and they both looked up with a sort of excitement in their eyes, and I could just hear their brains saying, "Really??? COOL!!!!" I don't think I called a single foul on those two the entire game, beacuse none was warranted.
make your luck by acting lucky because we are Nice sentiments Jim, it is not a mechanic that can be taught so much as sensed by what the players will accept. Doublely if not triplely hard when you have parents and coaches with other expectations in direct proportion to the level of knowledge, protectiveness and general acceptance. To achieve a balance of "let them play to now we pray" is a intuition of sorts that defines the nature by which we guage both the spirit and passion of the game. It is a measure of our talent in understanding the principles that seem to be successfull. Success translates into an attitude of satisfaction that all connected with the game be it players, parents, coaches fans or officials leave with comfort and hope reguardless of the outcome or score. Humility in the sense of understanding our good fortune and allowing the ego to soar on a promise kept in every match we do. The kids sense the discontent of the surrounding adults often far more aptly then they consider if the referee is a good guy or a bad guy in how the game is progressing by their standards. I know there has been the trial silent sunday approach. Truthfully I suspect we all enjoy the noise if it is positive and fun, brimimng with love and excitement in the passion of those who watch. Sprinkled with some dissagreement if they see effort, compassion and a true enjoyment by the referee even with a background, neutral, stay low key referee performance it gives confidence that you care almost as much as they think they do about their kids. My opinion such as it is, "Sieze the day! when those moments arise that fill you with the wonder as to why can not it always be like this. Make it so as often as possible.
I had this same situation in a U11 girls final this weekend. This was the first time I had worked anything under U16 boys. For girls the youngest I had worked this spring was U17. So I was a bit worried about "adjusting" my game to their level. It started right off with some pretty physical challenges and the players played right through them without a complaint. Also, not a peep from either coach. I thought right then, cool, I'll let them play. As Jim mentioned, the parents were quite frequently going nuts -- but the players never picked up on that sentiment and even though it wound up 3-0 the losing team battled hard right to the end. It was a lot of fun.