On screen stood Kerry, looking his haughty best. "For no particular reason," he said, "I would like to mention that Dick Cheney's daughter is a lesbian. A LES-BEE-AN! Also, I think Bush's daughters are lesbians too." "That's only half true!" Bush yelled angrily. The camera panned to Bush's daughters in the audience. "I'm not a lesbian!" Barbara shouted indignantly. "Yeah, Barbara isn't a lesbian!" Jenna agreed. "Now you can see Bush getting angry," Hume pointed out, "Then thinking better of it... and then getting angry again. Let's listen to his response." "There are a lot of problems in America that need to be dealt with," Bush said, "Such as obesity, as seen with John Edwards’s fat cow wife. And there is the problem of mental illness, such as with Kerry's own wacked-out crazy wife. And we must stop those who may take advantage of the insane by marrying them for their billions." "Through his Botox paralyzed face, you can start to see Kerry get angry," Hume observed. "Finally, there is the problem of promiscuity," Bush continued, "as displayed by Kerry's own slut daughter - you know, the one you saw wearing that see-through dress to a film festival. She offered sex acts to me after the last debate, but I refused - though the asking price was surprisingly low." "Do you know who I am?!" Kerry screamed and charged Bush. "Of course, we all know how this ended," Hume said as they cut away from the debate clip, "with Bush pinning Kerry to the ground and then forcing Kerry to face the camera and admit that he's a little girl. How do think this will affect people’s opinions?" http://www.imao.us/archives/002108.html