The report from US Soccer about the Berhalter-Reyna controversy and the the youth-soccer-like approach of the Reynas to their professional son's playing time made me think about my own mostly successful efforts to stay out of my son's interaction with his coaches. I say mostly -- just this month, in his last year of soccer before college, I quietly approached one of his coaches with a couple of suggestions to get more out of him playing in a new, entirely unfamiliar role that (ulterior motive here) I think might benefit my son beyond this season. I wouldn't have done it if I didn't know the coach pretty well. But I've always suspected some of the parents I've known have regularly tried to lobby for more playing time, different roles, less playing time for rival kids (that one I'm almost certain has happened with at least one parent I've known for years), ... So I'm curious: For anyone willing to own up to it, what's your least proud moment in your soccer parenting, whether that's your interactions with coaches, other parents, on the match-day sidelines, ...?
I was served a BS cease and disist letter from a former club for posting here. The letter had many mispellings and was quite wrong. Everything I posted was in fact 100% true and the club went on to lose the entire team my daughter played on and ALL their top competitive teams in total. At the end the majority of their teams on the girls side were C, D and maybe one B team if I recall correctly. Not necessarily a bad thing from me really... I guess my worst moment was thinking my #2 would be better off at Sockers in Palatine - over playing with the coaches at the Crystal Lake location. I figured she would have quit because she would have had to play with boys exclusively. We actually had a conversation on this just before high school training this year and she agreed - she would have rather stayed with Karl Smith & Co at Sockers CL then Palatine. She would have been a more confident and skilled player (having trained with boys) and been in a more family orientated atmosphere with - on average (IMO) better coaches who were better humans in general. It would have also saved me a ****-ton in gas and money!
Whoa. Can you elaborate? I think that would be a good story. About the cease and desist letter. How did they find you out?? I have nothing bad to say. I sit there and watch. I clap for nice plays either team. I sort of care if my kids team loses, and sort of don't. The way I see it, its on my kids to get hyped for wins or losses. I'm not living out my glory days through my kids.
A parent who lingered here - who had a kid on the 06 team brought it to the attention of the DOC. Funny thing is he left the club shortly thereafter as well. There are a few threads - all of which what I said was true and happened or eventually happened within months of my comments. But the thread below is all you really need to know about leadership - and that's backed up with police reports email from the FVPD and hospital records. Post #15 https://www.bigsoccer.com/threads/w...t-a-youth-soccer-match.2108265/#post-38570728
I'll fully admit to being too involved in club politics my first few years. I spent time and effort talking with other parents about stuff that, in the end, wasn't important. I wish I'd stayed out of it from the beginning, but at least I learned my lesson afte the first travel team fell apart.
Nothing comes to mind... I'm hoping my least proud moment is yet to come and will be quite glorious if coincidence puts me and any of about 3 previous coaches in the same place. They'll get an ear full.... You bet I'm sour grapes!
I'll confess to some of this along the way, begun with good intentions and ending in exasperation. With my son's current (and final) club, aside from the first post here, I've tried to lay low.
Mix of parent/coach least proud moment. During an indoor game, a kid that I really hated (she was great player but was also super dirty) was right in front of me and I yelled to my team "watch left, she can only go left, she has no move to her right." She looked at me like I'd killed her puppy. I learned later from other settings that her dad was one of those obnoxious parents that was always shouting so I started to feel bad about what I did.
I have two and they're really not that bad... I'm "that parent" (every team has at least one) that runs his own clock during the game. I like to know how much time is left (at least approximately). DS was playing at WDW WWoS, and they actually had functioning scoreboards w/clocks. As was my habit, when it got down to <5 minutes left in a half, I'd get DS' attention and signal how many minutes left. So I did that at one of those games. He gave me a funny look and pointed to the scoreboard. The second one was for DD. There was a game when it just looked like she wasn't putting in the effort. I've never really minded too much if my kids get "beat" because they make a bad judgement call, the other player makes a good move or is just better/faster, etc, but not putting in the effort will get my blood boiling quickly. I yelled something to her about trying harder and got the "Shut up Dad" response from her. I have yet to get involved in club/team politics, and don't talk to coaches about playing time.
That's nothing, man. You need to get out there and make some "memories." My wife still talks about years of her dad pacing the sidelines, giving her instructions, all ending with her putting on the brakes and standing like a statue during a game until he stopped.
I have stayed out of the politics 100%. But I have watched many parents go in and complain - only too see their kid eventually get in and take away time from players/parents who kept their heads down.