Just for fun: EPL/MLS In an alternate universe

Discussion in 'MLS: Expansion' started by FireFanInPackerLand, Aug 25, 2006.

  1. FireFanInPackerLand

    Dec 8, 2004
    Chicago, IL
    Chicago Fire
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    With expansion and rebranding pushing MLS names more in the direction of traditional European names, it got me thinking, "What if the EPL adopted the US nomenclature of City- Plural nickname?"

    This year's American-style EPL
    London Blues
    London Gunners
    London Cottagers
    London Addicks
    London Hammers
    London Spurs
    Birmingham Lions
    Blackburn Rovers
    Trafford Red Devils
    Manchester Citizens
    Liverpool Reds
    Liverpool Toffees
    Sheffield Blades
    Bolton Wanderers
    Middlesbrough Boro
    Newcastle Magpies
    Portsmouth Sailors
    Reading Royals
    Watford Hornets
    Wigan Lactics

    Just for fun, puts a different spin on the ideas of names and prestige. Newcastle Magpies and Newcastle United evoke two different reactions, as would DC United and Washington Spies.
  2. Prenn

    Prenn Member

    Apr 14, 2000
    Bolton Wanderers FC
    Nat'l Team:
    Bolton Trotters :eek:
  3. ossieend

    ossieend New Member

    Apr 3, 2005
    derby u.k.
    We recently had a budweiser ad over here where the basic idea was that Americans had taken over the running of the game in England. They came up with the name of Portsmouth Pirates which has a certain ring to it. Birmingham Lions on the list also sounds quite plausible.
  4. ossieend

    ossieend New Member

    Apr 3, 2005
    derby u.k.
    Actually, let me have a go at a few more.
    Aston Lions
    Arsenal 'sounds O.K. as it is'
    Chelsea Kings
    Liverpool Red Heat
    Everton Energy
    Fulham Pharoahs
    West Ham Iron
    Middlesbrough Steel
  5. amancalledmikey

    Oct 27, 2003
    I have a bindle at this point...
    West Ham United FC
    Nat'l Team:
    As they're an AFC, Middlesbrough would surely be the Athletics?

    Middlesbrough A's.
  6. ossieend

    ossieend New Member

    Apr 3, 2005
    derby u.k.
    In most cases and I'd be surprised if Boro were an exception, the A stands for association.
  7. sidis

    sidis Member

    Jun 2, 2006
    Itaguaí-RJ - Brazil
    Brazilian teams in this universe:

    Vasco - Rio de janeiro Cods
    Flamengo - Rio de janeiro Vultures
    Botafogo - Rio de janeiro Guard Dogs / Glorious
    Fluminense - Rio de janeiro Flowers
    Corinthians - São Paulo Opossums
    Palmeiras - São Paulo Pigs
    São Paulo - São Paulo Bambis
    Santos - Santos Fishes/whales
    Cruzeiro - Belo Horizonte Foxes
    Atlético Mineiro - Belo Horizonte Roosters
    Internacional - Porto Alegre Sacis
    Atlético Paranaense - Curitiba hurricanes
    Coritiba - Curitiba Withethighs
    Sport Recife - Recife Lions
    Fortaleza - Fortaleza Lions
    Criciuma - Criciuma Tigers
    São caetano - São caetano BigBlues

    HSEUPASSION New Member

    Apr 16, 2005
    Duck, NC
    Chelsea already have a nickname, they're called the Rent Boys.
  9. ATL_Iron

    ATL_Iron New Member

    Jun 19, 2006
    West Ham United FC
    Nat'l Team:
    To join in this light hearted fun :D

    Chelsea Dollars
    Arsenal Goons
    West Ham Irons
    Tottenham Whiners
    Birmingham Relegators
    Manchester USA
    Manchester Citizens
    Liverpool Terrys
    Everton Scoucers
    Bolton Borers
    Middlesbrough Boo Boys
    Newcastle Geordies
  10. Dills

    Dills Moderator
    Staff Member

    Philadelphia Union
    United States
    Jun 6, 2006
    Philadelphia Union
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    how about ...
    • Arsenal - North London Cannons
    • Aston Villa - West Midlands Lions
    • Blackburn Rovers - Lancashire Laborers
    • Bolton Wanderers - Bolton 'boks
    • Charlton Athletic - Southeast London Valleymen
    • Chelsea - Southwest London Pensioners
    • Everton - Liverpool Rooks
    • Fulham - Fulham Monochromes
    • Liverpool - Liverpool Beatles
    • Manchester City - Manchester Golden Eagles
    • Manchester Utd - Manchester Crimson Demons
    • Middlesbrough - Middlesbrough Lions
    • Newcastle Utd - Newcastle Seahorses
    • Portsmouth - Portsmouth Seamen
    • Reading - Reading Royals
    • Sheffield Utd - South Yorkshire Sabers
    • Tottenham Hotspur - North London Cockerels
    • Watford - Watford Moose
    • West Ham United - London Eastenders
    • Wigan Athletic - Wigan Unitarians
  11. Lothar is 1

    Lothar is 1 Member+

    Oct 21, 1999
    I dunno man... that Washington Spies sounds pretty damn cool... if I'm ever starting a franchise down there, I might have to steal that one off you...

    However, I think what you are getting at is that you favor MLS adopting the names of these old-time European Athletics Clubs... and I certainly cannot agree with that in anyway. FC Dallas is bad enough, but to have been given Real Salt Lake, and Houston 1836 or Houston Dynamo is just too lame...

    You want to talk about changing the names of these existing clubs to something than what you have heard all your life, then obviously it sounds different. However, no one in Engerland says "GO ARSENAL FOOTBALL CLUB" at games... they say "COME ON Y' GUNNERS"... and fans of Real Madrid, dont chant for the "Reals"... they chant for the "Galacticos"... so they themselves with these old-time organization names have adopted the same style nicknames to root for.

    However, the situation with MLS is entirely different anyway. MLS is not an old-time traditional league, and does not have roots back to the 1800s... so if you are gonna make an accurate comparison between MLS and Europe you would have to take an organization which similarly was starting up recently in a sport not traditionaly supported in the area... which was picking up after a few failed predecessor leagues which failed to fully take root besides a few organizations, just like MLS has done here.

    I know of such an organization which is taking root in Europe with a new sport for the continent, and is picking up after a somewhat unsuccessful predecessor, NFL Europe!

    Well let's see... how did the NFL Europe Franchises do it?

    Scottish Claymores... instead of Celtic American Football Club
    Barcelona Dragons... instead of Barcelona American Style Football Club
    Berlin Thunder... instead of BvB Berlin, or Fortuna Berlin...
    Frankfurt Galaxy... instead of Vfl Frankfurt
    Rhein Fire... instead of TSV 1995 Rhein
    Amsterdam Admirals... as oposed to Ajax Amsterdam American Football Club
    Hamburg Sea Devils... instead of Hamburger Spvgg
    Cologne Centurians... instead of 1. AFC Cologne, or the Cologne Kickers...

    (notice 2 of them are even identical to MLS franchise names)

    MLS has some of the best professional sports franchise names in the entire world... The New England - Revolution, the Chicago - Fire, the SJ (Bay Area) - Earthquakes, the Columbus - Crew...

    These names not only sound cool, but also provide some clear historic significance which can be instantly adopted by the local populations. Many of them also take a conceptual basis instead of a physical object. The Revolution, the Fire, the Crew... theyre hard to grasp items, which are in constant motion... giving a sense of action...

    and the predecessor leagues have several kickazz names like the TB - Rowdies, Tulsa - Roughnecks, Dallas - Tornados, Pennsylvania - Stoners, Chicago - Sting, etc.

    Those would be much better than adopting European copycat names.

    The other thing people don't get, is names like 'Real', 'United', 'Vfl', etc. aren't just names, but they actually have a purpose, one which is not shared by MLS clubs. 'Real' in spanish is a term which means 'organization' to determine it as a business, which is essentially the same thing as calling a team Phoenix Co. Inc., or Corporation Cincinatti. 'United' is as it sounds, the name refered to when a number of clubs, different parties involved with other clubs 'unite' together to form a new club. 'Vfl', 'BvB', 'Spvgg', etc. in Germany are the same thing as the Co. Inc. situation with 'Real'.

    Since obviously none of those apply to the MLS Clubs, and Dallas Burn did not all of a sudden pick of "Football'... none of these names make sense when applied to the league.

    MLS is also never going to play in Europe. Thus MLS should not target European sounding names. The idea behind doing so would be to get those into European soccer in the the league. The trouble with that is, most people who follow soccer at all in the country are either into the league already, or not going to get into the league just because of a name change since they rate soccer higher elsewhere in the world and would rather watch that. It is the American fans who know nothing about soccer that the league needs to with its franchise names. The more they make the names sound like other professional sports leagues in this country, the more the average American who knows nothing about soccer will get into the league and respect it as if it were a professional league. Each time an MLS franchise takes on a foreign sounding name they chase away any potential fans from Americas xenophobic population which is taught to hate europe and soccer. These are the fans we are going to need to go after and convert to the sport. Thus these are the fans we should no be alienating. Real soccer fans are not gonna be into a club or not into a club based on its name... they are just gonna be into any soccer played here.

    Clearly it makes more sense to use the American Style names with these MLS franchises.
  12. RichardL

    RichardL BigSoccer Supporter

    May 2, 2001
    Reading FC
    Nat'l Team:
    Real means Royal. It has nothing to do with being a business.

    the name United has nothing to do with clubs "uniting". It was just copied as clubs with rather more flamboyant names than those of today renamed to sound more professional.

    other than that, carry on.
  13. ossieend

    ossieend New Member

    Apr 3, 2005
    derby u.k.
    Lotharis, you're too intense, the rest of us are having a light hearted play. Chill out man or you'll give yourself indigestion.
  14. MPoole

    MPoole Member

    Aug 1, 2006
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    come on now guys, I can't believe that no one said this sooner. With those kits, Newcastle would definately be the Jailbirds.
  15. ossieend

    ossieend New Member

    Apr 3, 2005
    derby u.k.
    Or maybe the NFL refs. Does NFL have refs or are they called umpires?:eek:
  16. FireFanInPackerLand

    Dec 8, 2004
    Chicago, IL
    Chicago Fire
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Actually the proper term for an NFL official is "You ********ing blind bastard!!!!!!!!"
  17. KCWiz

    KCWiz New Member

    May 8, 2003
    Manhattan, Kansas
    A lot of great suggestions here...just reaffirms my notion of Americanized teams! Woo.
  18. Dills

    Dills Moderator
    Staff Member

    Philadelphia Union
    United States
    Jun 6, 2006
    Philadelphia Union
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    they're refs (umps are in baseball), and they're sporting new unis this season ...

  19. chiladd

    chiladd Member+

    Mar 21, 1999
    Chicago Fire
    an NFL officiating crew consists of a Referee , an umpire, a head linesman,a line judge ,a field judge , a side judge and a back judge.

    The umpire is the official who linesup behind the defense and watches the line of scrimmage.
  20. ossieend

    ossieend New Member

    Apr 3, 2005
    derby u.k.
    So much for stripes making you look slim.
  21. edwardgr

    edwardgr Moderator
    Staff Member

    Mar 6, 2006
    Seattle Sounders
    Nat'l Team:
    United States

    United Uniteds

    Rotherham United from Rotherham Town and Rotherham County
    Newcastle United from Newcastle East and Newcastle West
    Carlisle United from Shaddongate United and Carlisle Red Rose

    Non United United

    Manchester United from Newton Heath
    Sheffield United from Sheffield United Cricket Club
    West Ham United descended from Thames Ironworks FC

    There are others for both categories but I don't feel like looking up any more.

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