So the crisis done me in. After all that frustration, I decided to quit my unsatisfying job and start playing soccer for living. After a quick world tour I've rejected offers from Spain, Italy and Germany and signed for Tsydynbal of Mongolian 8th division. Actually I was ready to move to England, but my special talent based appeal, has been rejected. I still think that was an extremely unfair decision as I'm 55 years old and 40 lb overweight but still able to move from side to side of a penalty box, which is definitely a special talent. I know that all of you are eager to hear about my outstanding career with Tsydynbal, so I'm happy to enlighten you. According to the coach I'm playing a central schmuck position. I'm not sure whether it means a CB, CM or a striker so I prefer to stay at the center circle and have my camel parked near by. Talking of a camel. The terms are great: they promise to pay me as soon as they get money. Meanwhile I've been provided with a corner in a yurta, part time camel to milk (on Tuesdays and Saturdays), and a wife on Mondays an Fridays. And by the way, despite that are just Mondays and Fridays, I would never trade my beautiful wife for the one that Bekham got. Eat it British Federation. I know that you all guys are rooting for me and it makes me so proud. And the last note, if someone is able to run for more than 5 minutes, please apply, you might get even better terms then mine!