Iran is digging 320,000 graves for the invaders!

Discussion in 'International News' started by The Älpha Male, Jun 30, 2008.

  1. The Älpha Male

    The Älpha Male BigSoccer Yellow Card

    May 27, 2006
    Iran 'digging 320,000 graves for invaders'
    Sun, 29 Jun 2008 19:57:34

    A senior Iranian commander says the country is digging some '320,000 graves' in its bordering provinces for future slain invaders.

    Brigadier General Mir-Faisal Baqerzadeh, the Head of the Foundation for the Remembrance of the Holy Defense, said Sunday that the decision had been approved by Iran's Armed Forces Headquarters.

    "We will dig 15,000 to 20,000 graves in each of the border provinces," he said.

    "We do not wish the families of enemy soldiers to experience what Americans had to go through in the aftermath of the Vietnam War," added Brig. Gen. Baqerzadeh, who is also the head of the search committee for missing soldiers.

    The commander said the preemptive measures would decrease the time slain soldiers would be 'missing in action'.

    "The burial of slain soldiers will be carried out decently and in little time," he continued.

    Baqerzadeh added that the decision is in line with the Islamic Republic's commitment to comply with the Geneva Convention and the additional protocol regarding wartime cooperation between Iran and the Red Cross.

    http://www.presstv.com/detail.aspx?i...onid=351020101

    talk about psychological warfare
     
  2. SoccerPro843

    SoccerPro843 Member

    Dec 3, 2004
    Austin, Tx
    Talk about paranoia. Don't they have anything better to be doing?
     
  3. Ismitje

    Ismitje Super Moderator

    Dec 30, 2000
    The Palouse
    Club:
    Real Salt Lake
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I had two immediate thoughts:

    1) Mass graves (marked of course) seem much more practical, and

    2) Very considerate to worry about loved ones at home.

    Actually this is one of the greatest stories I have ever read. So much in it to consider . . .
     
  4. SoccerPro843

    SoccerPro843 Member

    Dec 3, 2004
    Austin, Tx
  5. StrikerCW

    StrikerCW Member

    Jul 10, 2001
    Perth, WA
    Club:
    Manchester United FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Too bad a joint Western attack would hopefully destroy their entire infrastructure and badly damage their country (which would then be split into multiple regionalities) for generations. They will still have these national landmarks to praise their fallen soldiers who died in the sad defeat of the war.
     
  6. yasik19

    yasik19 Moderator
    Staff Member

    Chelsea
    Ukraine
    Oct 21, 2004
    Daly City
    That's very generous of Iran.
     
  7. Borussia

    Borussia Member+

    Jun 5, 2006
    Fürth near Nuremberg
    Club:
    Borussia Mönchengladbach
    Nat'l Team:
    Germany
    It seems that the Iranian leadership badly depends on such things...

    But this funny article surely is worth a laugh. ;)


    PS: Why did you open a new thread when there's already 2 of them concerning Iran?
     
  8. nicephoras

    nicephoras A very stable genius

    Fucklechester Rangers
    Jul 22, 2001
    Eastern Seaboard of Yo! Semite
    Holy Crap! This is the Onion all over again!

    "Stalin Announces Five-Year 'Everybody Dies' Plan." Those not killed will have fine jobs burying the dead.



    In all seriousness, this is the equivalent of a public works project in Iran to combat unemployment. You - no job? Go dig some holes in the ground!
     
  9. ElJefe

    ElJefe Moderator
    Staff Member

    Feb 16, 1999
    Colorful Colorado
    Club:
    FC Dallas
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Great, now the right-wing blogosphere will justify an invasion of Iran on the grounds that they're taking jobs away from hardworking American gravediggers.
     
  10. Matt Clark

    Matt Clark Member

    Dec 19, 1999
    Liverpool
    Club:
    Liverpool FC
    Why 320,000? Why not 330,000? Or 310,000? Is the former considered too ambitious even by Iran's nutjob leadership and the latter too defeatist? Was this the consequence of months of internal wrangling and horsetrading, I wonder? Was there a hardline 330,000 camp, a moderate 310,000 camp and eventually the Ayatollah himself said "Sod it, let's just split the difference and go bang some more ho's.!"
     
  11. white riot

    white riot Member+

    England
    Apr 27, 2005
    Southampton, England
    Club:
    Southampton FC
    Nat'l Team:
    England
    Are they digging them by hand? Just wondered, it's a lot of hard work if they are.
     
  12. Rostam

    Rostam Member

    Dec 11, 2005
    Number `32` and has a special meaning in many different mystic schools of thought.

    I will let you dig into that.

    Hint: think of (22 +10) and (3+2) as a starter.
     
  13. argentine soccer fan

    Staff Member

    Jan 18, 2001
    San Francisco Bay Area
    Club:
    CA Boca Juniors
    Nat'l Team:
    Argentina
    If they need to keep people busy, why don't they dig holes and plant trees instead of going through this bullshit?

    Then they would be helping the planet as well as giving jobs.
     
  14. Matt Clark

    Matt Clark Member

    Dec 19, 1999
    Liverpool
    Club:
    Liverpool FC
    Ah, mysticism. Gotcha.

    God, Iran is so backward.
     
  15. Borussia

    Borussia Member+

    Jun 5, 2006
    Fürth near Nuremberg
    Club:
    Borussia Mönchengladbach
    Nat'l Team:
    Germany
    :D;):)
     
  16. Dyvel

    Dyvel Member+

    Jul 24, 1999
    The dog end of a day gone by
    Club:
    Leeds United AFC
    Nat'l Team:
    Ireland Republic
    Roads to nowhere are also a great way of keeping the unemployed busy. Such roads would also confuse invading armies.
     
  17. Rostam

    Rostam Member

    Dec 11, 2005
    Poor Brit still living in the hoax that you never figured out! :eek:
     
  18. Matt Clark

    Matt Clark Member

    Dec 19, 1999
    Liverpool
    Club:
    Liverpool FC
    Hoax, eh? Never figured out, eh? Poor, eh? I'm intrigued by your views and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
     
  19. The Älpha Male

    The Älpha Male BigSoccer Yellow Card

    May 27, 2006
    You're a Canadian wannabe eh?
     
  20. Matt Clark

    Matt Clark Member

    Dec 19, 1999
    Liverpool
    Club:
    Liverpool FC
    Can one want to be a Canadian?
     
  21. JBigjake

    JBigjake Member+

    Nov 16, 2003
    Iran is digging 320,000 graves

    From the OP:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ostān
    There are 16 border provinces, so 20,000 each would be 320,000. Of course, 15,000 each would be only 240,000. Also, it seems unfair to ask some of the less populous border provinces to dig as many as the more populous. Perhaps some of the interior provinces will be paired with border provinces to provide a more even distribution of labor. There is also bound to be some resentment if some border provinces aren't invaded. I mean, can you imagine the consternation? "Here we are, with 20,000 freshly dug graves and the infidels invade the next province? What are we to do with all these holes, plant more date palm and pistachio trees? We knew this was going to happen! Our roads have never been major invasion in routes throughout history! We told those bunglers in Tehran this, but they just ignored us!"
     
  22. Ismitje

    Ismitje Super Moderator

    Dec 30, 2000
    The Palouse
    Club:
    Real Salt Lake
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Re: Iran is digging 320,000 graves

    I've been watching the USNT too long - when I read "think of 22 + 10" I immediately thought, Alexi Lalas and Claudio Reyna?
     
  23. Rostam

    Rostam Member

    Dec 11, 2005
    Re: Iran is digging 320,000 graves

    Your thinking is quite interesting. Great players to build a team full of life. :)
     
  24. Leedsunited

    Leedsunited Member

    Jun 14, 2007
    Yorkshire
    Club:
    Leeds United AFC
    There's some great replies on this thread. I can just imagine the weeks of intense negotiations over the numbers involved. Of course it could just be a precaution for when their first nuclear weapon test blows up in their faces......... Even if they give it the big man routine, the Iranian government will be shitting themselves. The idea that they could defend anything against the West is ridiculous. Look how easy it was in Iraq for the invasion....
     
  25. Matt Clark

    Matt Clark Member

    Dec 19, 1999
    Liverpool
    Club:
    Liverpool FC
    Oh Christ, you've just set off a whole suite of sensors in a basement in Tehran in which Ken Nasiri, eschewing sleep, food and personal hygiene for days on end, monitors the internet for opportunities to proclaim the glory of Iran and all things Iranian.

    Countdown active, awaiting Ken. Armed with various photographs of missiles, long-barrelled guns and other inescapably and mysteriously phallic material.
     

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