This guy is either a genius or out of his mind I can't decide which: Maybe we should pitch in and send Eggy and zak. They both could do with a nice vacation. The bride's best mate works in a chippy in Colchester, and they always used to go boozing in Stoke with her aunt who I seem to remember had a penchant for DKNY tracksuits, Pineapple Bacardi Breezers and cafe creme. Now, on the basis there's a 100% certainty that at least one of them is a bridesmaid, there's not a lot of optimisim I can inject, is there? That and the fact that I've heard that 2 of the ushers are now trying to sell their tickets on loot having had the tip off about her mother.
There's a large market for 2nd hand wedding invites in England, specifically when the bride is deemed to be a "dog". Madness!
Apparently the deal's off. This "dog" was, I guess, his ex and now he's going to the wedding to break it off. It's like an English soap opera on eBay. What fun. "Most of you have hit the nail on the head, you know. I still love the old dog, despite what she did to me. And, thanks to the Colchester Massiv’s “Honk if you’re Twinklydog’s Dog” campaign, she got in touch this morning and we’ve had a good chat. It’s a bit of a gamble, but I’m going to pull the auction, go to Aberdeen and see whether she’ll put a stop to this sham of a wedding and marry me instead. Hope you understand. The cab’s outside, I’ve got to go."