If Premiership clubs were women ...

Discussion in 'Premier League: News and Analysis' started by Matt Clark, Oct 27, 2003.

  1. Matt Clark

    Matt Clark Member

    Dec 19, 1999
    Liverpool FC
    Arsenal - Angelina Jolie - Look good, a bit
    maverick at times and you know they can fuck you like a randy bear if they want to.

    Aston Villa - Dido - One big hit. Fairly
    inoffensive really.

    Birmingham City - Maria Carey - Occasionally
    interesting, frequently annoying. Supporters are

    Blackburn Rovers - Melanie Sykes - Common as muck Lancy, constantly worrying.

    Bolton Wanderers - Natalie Imbruglia - Always
    looks like she might go down but never does!

    Charlton Athletic - Martine McCutcheon -Chirpy
    Cockney with the ability to spring a few

    Chelsea - Maggie Thatcher - Hated by millions,
    supported by idiots!

    Everton - Barbara Windsor - Been laughing at those
    tits so long we forget that once upon a time they
    actually looked quite good!

    Fulham - Andrea Corr - Not bad to look at but not
    much of her. Seems a bit awestruck with fame.

    Leicester City - Patsy Palmer - Generally a bit
    crap and second rate really, but some people like

    Leeds United - Christina Aguilera - Dirrrty.

    Liverpool - Sophie Ellis Bextor - Individually all
    the components look fantastic - just doesn't work
    when put together.

    Man City - Madonna - Have been big at times - now
    lost the plot a bit - ageing stars. Nice new home

    Man United - Jordan - Dominated by tits. Quite
    repulsive really.

    Middlesborough - Tara Palmer Tompkinson - Can look
    quite good at the back - but nothing at all up
    front to speak of.

    Newcastle United - Pamela Anderson - Can look
    good. Various unsavoury elements though.

    Portsmouth - Chrissie Hynde - On the face of it a
    has-been but you're quite interested in what she's
    going to do next.

    Southampton - Kylie Minogue - Sometimes you feel
    sorry for them, They're not huge and you've got a
    bit of a soft spot.

    Tottenham Hotspur - Kim Wilde - Glamerous in the
    80's not so nice to watch now.

    Wolverhampton Wanderers - Lynda Lovelace - Big in
    the 70's guaranteed to go down.
  2. Treetaliano

    Treetaliano Member

    Jun 29, 2002
    San Diego
    Does this mean that Wolves are also literally dead?
  3. blackpool fc mark

    blackpool fc mark New Member

    Oct 1, 2003
    Liverpool - Sophie Ellis Bextor - Individually all
    the components look fantastic - just doesn't work
    when put together

    Liverpool - Barbara Straisand - Ugly to watch, Sticks to the same old routine,
    Surely the lady u paired with Chelsea is more suited to Man Utd

    Cool Thread
  4. Didn't she get f****d by a dog?
    They're more like Jane Couch really, ugly to look at, think their heavy, and think they can punch above their weight but they do have sex with dogs.
  5. Clan

    Clan Member

    Apr 23, 2002
    Originally posted by Matt Clark
    Liverpool - Raquel Welsh-Looked great years ago-would love to fuck somebody, anybody really, today.

    Thats better......
  6. 655321

    655321 New Member

    Jul 21, 2002
    The Mission, SF
  7. Doctor Stamen

    Doctor Stamen New Member

    Nov 14, 2001
    In a bag with a cat.
    Blackburn=Probably Divine Brown, or Gillian Tailforth. Doesn't take a genius to work out why.

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