I have a child who's play level is hampered by is inability to relax in games.I used to give him pointers when he would be off the field ,but i want him to make decisions for himself so i completely stopped doing that.Sometimes he does O.K. against lower level teams ,but against teams he knows his team doesn't have a chance against he just looses focus.It just looks like he uses all his energy running all over the field trying to help out.He has great stamina,a lot of ability and a hell of a lot of knowledge about the game for an 11 yr old. Is a shrink to early for him ? This has been a huge problem since he's gotten a lot better skill wise.He never had this problem when he was just playing recreational,so i am considering taking him out of competetive Soccer.
I think you are overreacting here. Every situation is different, but it seems to me that there are always some common threads. --Does your son enjoy playing at the competitive level, on balance? Even at a young age, no kid likes to lose, but overall, is it fun for him? --Does he like his teammates and coaches? Is there generally good cameraderie? --When he plays well, does he look like he "fits" with this group, technically and athletically -- not that he is the best kid, necessarily, but that he belongs? --You've said he is improving -- which suggests the program is a good one. And remember, at this age it's all about enhancing technical skills; tactical understanding comes later. Is he aware that he is improving? Does he feel himself getting better, and does he feel positive about that? --Does your kid want to be good? Does he want to be challenged? Is he ready to get pushed a little out of his comfort zone? He may display sub-optimal behavior on the field at times now, but if he wants to get better, and he's got the athletic and mental ability, he will. Then, this sort of crazy running-around-with-the-head-cut-off stuff will pass. Soccer, especially as you enter the higher levels of play, becomes a high stress game. Some kids thrive right away in that environment, some never do, some slowly but inevitably learn to love it. Remember, every kid -- and I mean EVERY kid, unless he's a prodigy like Donovan or Adu -- has an erratic development arc: --Some improve, and then stop improving, --Some regress at first, then improve dramatically. --Some get better fast, then regress, then continue to improve. --Some slowly but continually and methodically improve. I've seen kids who were first choice ODP get supplanted by kids who two years earlier were weaker players. I've seen kids who've been barnburners at 11 become ordinary at 14. I've seen kids who were stars at 12 fail to blossom solely because they wouldn't work at it. And I've seen stars at 11 who worked really really hard and are stars today at 15 and 16. So, I'd say if he like his team, is getting better, is generally having fun, and wants to be good, keep him where he's at. If he hates it, doesn't want to be good (remember it's HIM who wants to want it, not you), and is not enjoying it, then maybe it's time for him to go back to rec. Oh, and one other thing. Even at 11, it has to be HIS decision. You can give him the tradeoffs objectively, but HE has to decide.
1.yes. he hates loosing but understands it's part of the learning process. 2.Well that's a tricky one,because he's on a team of kids he who don't kow each other.It's basically mix upof kids from different teams.His regular team is another story,i think part of the problem lies there as he's been treated pretty poorly over his first season.Basically he's a quiet kid that doesn't really say too much,and i think for that reason he doesn't really fit in.Is that his fault?He just loves to play Soccer,so i don't see the problem there. He seemed to get on o.k. when he first started,as he was adjusting to the level of play.But when he got uused to the speed he satrted playing really well,which didn't really sit too well with some of the other kids.I guess that's life though. 3.when he plays well that's when the problems start.He had his best games near the end of last fall,i mean he just looked really really good.The next practice he shows up and not one kid spoke to him,during scrimmage not one kid passed him the ball.I found it completely shocking,but we both learned a lot from it.He's a totally team player sometimes to a fault. 4.Yes.the other day he had a good scrimmage and he commented that he didn't even realise he was doing some of the things he was doing. 5.that is a very good question.I really am having my doubts about him really wanting it.We went to a big tournament a few months back his first one to be exact.There we saw some of the most beautiful players ever,it was an absolute eye opener.He just loved seeing kids his age doing things in games that he's see's in the EPL.He was very motivated after that,his team lost every game but he thoroughly enjoyed the experience.Over this winter though he seems less motivated.It may be the very tough winter we are having in the NYC area and no father and son sessions.But i starte thinking about pulling him out of travel Soccer for a year just to see if he misses it.After all there is no rush,he's young and if he's going to be good it his choice. For the most part i think he and i were kind of put off by the culture of youth Soccer that we encountered straight away.It might be bad luck ,but the first two teams he's been on have been plagued with jealousy,fear and dishonesty.Call it being Naive or whatever but,it was quite strange to me.