...and the Fiver's take on it: MAKING EMILE OUT OF IT One of the most common arguments for depriving footballers of all their wages and sending them to the bottom of the sea is that if you give them any cash, they'll only go and do stupid things with it. It is not unheard of to find Premiership stars building statues of themselves out of Belgian chocolate, for example, nor even for Nationwide workhorses to blow thousands on a conservatory for their car. However wild you might consider those indulgences, however, Emile Heskey took things to a new level of lunacy today by offering a six-figure sum to Leicester City. Not surprisingly, the world of football closed ranks today and defended the actions of the Liverpool loon. Some even suggested that Heskey had done an honourable thing. (Next they'll be saying he contributes something to football matches!) "I think it is fair to say we are very pleased and encouraged with Emile's move," said acting Foxy chairman Martin George. "Like [St] Gary [Lugfest], Emile Heskey has not forgotten the club that set him on the way to the top. He was not approached and contacted us off his own bat. That shows the depth of his willingness to help the cause." The extent of his problem, more like. Far more sensible is the behaviour of John Alford look-unlike Dennis Wise. Rather than giving Leicester money, the sensationally effective Millwall midfielder is suing to get cash from them, claiming his sacking deprived him of well-deserved earnings. But St Gary Lugalot hasn't even bought the club before he's telling Den off. "It is quite extraordinary that Wise is trying to sue the club, especially at a time like this," said the po-faced so-and-so. "My message to Dennis Wise is to drop your case - you are employed now by Millwall so get on with your life." And why not buy yourself a golden taxi while you're at it?
Have to admit, I haven’t heard of the Fiver. Then again, I hadn’t heard of FHM before this week. Just lucky, I guess . . . A bit more benevolent article from lfc.tv: Boss praises generous Heskey 25 October 2002 : by Paul Eaton Gerard Houllier has praised the "generous nature" of Emile Heskey after the Liverpool striker donated a six-figure sum towards Leicester's quest to fight their way out of administration. The former Leicester star has dug deep into his pockets to follow Gary Lineker's lead and play his part in helping the first division club survive their current financial crisis. Houllier said: "It doesn't surprise me what Emile has done because he a very generous guy. "He told me what he was going to do and told me why he wanted to do it. He hasn't forgotten what Leicester did for his career and he wanted to help them out of their troubles. "That's Emile Heskey. A really nice guy with a very generous nature." http://www.liverpoolfc.tv/news/drilldown/N137274021025-1618.htm -----
The Fiver is the Guardian's daily e-mail newsletter. A major pisstake on the football news of the day. Every noon like clockwork my co-workers hear me laughing out loud at it.