Hege is a Cyborg

Discussion in 'NWSL' started by David, Aug 9, 2002.

  1. David

    David Member

    Jun 2, 2000
    It's taken me two seasons to figure it out. But I think I understand how Hege does "it".

    Someone implanted a subcutaneous Global Positioning Satellite device that kicks in when she is in the middle third of the field. It automatically and instantly triangulates her position to that of all opponents and sends the information to her brain. Without thinking, she moves to the point of the field that maximizes the distance between her and the opponents, creating the space to receive and turn. Occasionally, the signal is interrupted and she tackles in the middle third, but usually there is no signal interruption and she is moving to space. The device shuts off in the defensive and offensive thirds of the field, allowing her to move at her own will.

    It's the only possible explanation for how she plays. Let me assure you this is not a schizophrenic hallucination, as I got the information beamed to me from the fillings in my teeth. PLEASE, make sure Hege has fresh batteries before the semifinals. I looked in the BigSoccer Store and don't see the devices available to the general public.
  2. Heeligan2

    Heeligan2 Member

    Jan 27, 2001
    Earthaven, NC


    That is the only possible explanation!
  3. Klee

    Klee Member

    Feb 24, 2001
    Chapel Hill, NC

    David's post is hereby nominated for best post on this forum for the season!
  4. Oddball#34

    Oddball#34 New Member

    Mar 6, 2002
    Apex, NC
    i second the motion.


Share This Page