Barthez - Much improved maligned keeper. Less prone to go walk about and behave like a clown. Could have done better against boro, but was on form against the blues. Neville (G) - Playing more like the Neville of old and less prone to mistakes. Most unlikely to Score a goal in any game that he plays in. Related to Phil, much improved player. Brown - Has stopped handing in a sicknote to the headmaster. Has hand a string of good games without scoring an own goal! Has pace and can tackle. Has a good future at OT. Blanc - (see dictionary reference for snail). Great defender past his prime can read the game and make important interceptions. However cannot deal with pace, and is frequently passed by pensioners. Has a future at OT but not in first team (see recent defensive improvement coinciding with Blanc not playing). Ferdinand - Cost a lot of money and had great world cup. Prone to defensive lapses, but has pace to make up for them. Needs to find his true form. Recently had a sicknote. Headmaster expects more from him. Also has blue Ferrari, should surely be RED! O'Shea - Young Irish player great pose on the ball. Can play as a fullback - either side or as centre back. Could become an OT great. Silvestre - Much improved full back and occasional centre back over recent seasons. Central spot may after all be his best spot. Is French, but will not hold it against him. Has answered recent questions about loyalty by signing new contract with headmaster. Is becoming a great player, always going forward supporting Giggs (see sometimes under achieving winger capable of brilliant play, although not as good as George Best (see Miss World, number of, Heavy drinker. Recommend vids of his play to all United fans or any footy fans). Midfield report to come.