Gazza Update

He's applying to manage Exeter City. Obviously the door is not as wide open as his agent would lead you to believe.

http://sports.yahoo.com/m/world/news/reuters/20021008/reu-gascoigne20021008.html

 

I can't wait until he fines himself for coming to practice hungover.

 

Here's the Fiver's take on the situation. Good for a laugh.

Imagine, if you dare, life as a professional footballer under Paul Gascoigne, Exeter City manager. Gone! The morning shuttle runs - replaced by an afternoon amble through the city centre (40HH comedy breasts obligatory) and impromptu burping contest outside the cathedral. Gone! The modern emphasis on diet - replaced by an English breakfast three-times-a-day and the subsequent who-can-rip-the-biggest-zinger contest. And gone, surely, Exeter's chances (they are currently fourth bottom of the Third Division) of staying in the Football League.

Well, that's what the Fiver thinks. However, Exeter vice-chairman Mike Lewis disagrees. Not for him pithy concerns that Gascoigne, who has applied for the vacant manager's job at the club, has no coaching experience. "I've been 28 years in the game and I've taken managers to clubs where they have been very successful without actually having managed a Sunday morning team," he told Sky Sports, with an apparent straight face. "The next move would be to get Paul here to talk to us so we can look him in the eye and see if he is totally serious about this - we think he is."

God help them down Devon way. And the chances that Gazza will soon be lubing Exeter players' jockstraps with Deep Heat increased further when Uri Geller, master spoonbender and joint chairman of Exeter, told Independent Radio News. "I am a great admirer of Paul. He clearly is very talented, he has the skill, he is a great entertainer, a fantastic name and I will accept him with open arms." More waffle about positive auras followed before Geller added: "If Paul takes himself very seriously and gets into shape, he is still a great football player." Take himself seriously? Get in shape? Not even Uri could manipulate that.