Funniest Football Chants and/or Moments

From halftime when Houllier went to the hospital with his heart problem "We've got Dom Matteo, You've got Pinochio" Liverpool - Leeds.



"You've only got 3 arms" Boro - Leeds


a new favourite of mine.....
Sunderland (to Leeds support) "Going down, going down, going down..."
Leeds reply: "So are we, so are we, so are we...."


Funny moment was when both physios were running across the pitch in the Leeds - Brum match. They were neck and neck and both sets of supporters were really cheering loudly for their team's physio to make it to the scene first. It really was hilarious.

 

"Are you Manchester City in Disguise"

to the tune of "If you're happy clap your hands"

 

Isn't that what the city supporters were singing to Gary Neville?


(I know it wasn't, but it was close!)

 

They can sing their momentary (notice that term MOMENTARY) glory songs all they want, in the end you know what the response is gonna be.

Where's your Silver at City?

They've won nothing yet, and they'll win nothing again this year except for their little hiccup in our season.

 

Did you really? LOL!!

Talk about coolness under pressure....

 

Are you sunderland in disguise - boro v man u

Who let the monkey out (when peter reid was in charge) boro v sunderland

 

"Sit down Pinocchio" is tired. It's sung every damn week. The Arsenal supporters had a better one. "Get your nostrils off the pitch!!" or, I can't remember who did this one, sung to the tune of Blue Moon. "Big Nose (big nose, big nose) you've got a fiicking big nose, (big nose, big nose) 10 Scousers fit in your nose (big nose, big nose) you've got a fiicking big nose."

"Can we play you every week?" Bolton supporters enjoy a win at Sold Trafford. A popular chant, but I found it hilarious this time.

"We've got Dom Matteo, you've got our stereos" Leeds support sing to the Scousers

Bayer Leverkusen supporters away singing You'll Never Walk Alone - in English, late in a Champions League Semi-final win at Old Trafford. And the 60,000 Mancs nearly choke on their prawns.

"Who's the Scouser in the Black?" United fans sing at the Referee at Anfield. Several calls had gone against them. The Kop answers "Johnny Barnes, Johnny Barnes."

Years ago, when Liverpool and United's rivalry was getting worse and worse, the two teams decided to do something about it. At a match at Anfield, they decided that after the two sides run out of the tunnel, they would then go to opposite ends of the pitch to greet the supporters. United run up the the Kop end, and encounter a wall of whistles. The Liverpool players went to the Anfield Road end - the the travelling Mancs. Both teams kicked a dozen or so footballs into the crowd as a good gesture. At the Kop end, the Scousers caught the footballs kicked by the United players, and proceeded the throw the lot right back at them.

Or years ago, when Peter Shilton's affair with Mary Brown was in the papers, the Kop sang to him, to the tune of Knees Up Mother Brown, "Who's Up Mary Brown?"

"Gary Neville is a Blue" was a good one a few weeks back.

 

It was also funny when spurs were singing "There's only one Keano" to us after we sold them Keane. They were trying to get under our skin, but i guess they didn't realize that it was us who were singing the very same song during the match....

We replied with "You've only got one song"

I know they are both really common, but it just fit nicely.




Another thing that was funny happened when we beat Man U at Elland Road. When Kewell scored his goal it looked like Rio wanted to go and celebrate with everyone. But then he realized two things...
1.)He's in a red shirt.
2.)He's a judas twat.

 

not sure about the funniest but the most terrifiying has to be the occassional burst of 'we want Gregory back' eminating from the Holte End at VP!
the horror, the horror

 

The year Man City got relegated to Div. 2.

Last game of the year at home vs. Stoke City.

Stoke's supporters chanted "See you next year."

 

When Giuseppe Signori used to play in Rome, before WC '94 (Italy would have won in '94 were he used more )

in italian

Did you see who scored the goal, his name is Giuseppe Signori.*

*When the U.S. beat Argentina in a friendly on a goal by Joe Max-Moore in the 88th minute, two friends and I (all equally real drunk) ran around the parking lot of RFK taunting any and every Argentinian fan with the same song. They wondered who Giuseppe Signori was so we started saying Joe Max-Moore instead.

 

During the play-off semi of 2001 we were having one of our stands re-built and some of the builders were sitting watching the game from the half finished stand. The Brummie Road End started singing

'Where's your famous,
Where's your famous,
Where's your famous builders ar$e?'

Just before half time at the villa games a few months back the announcer gave news that there would be no alcohol for sale in the smethwick end, the (no smoking) east stand immeadiately began singing 'You're not drinking anymore' to which their smethwick end counterparts replied with 'You're not smoking anymore'

3-0 up against Bradford on saturday and I was amused by the chants of
'Your $hit and you beat the Wolves' along with 'Your only here for the money'


Our best song of the season is (to the tune of Oh My Darling Clementine)

Where's your lipstick?
Where's your lipstick?
Where's your lipstick Rodney Marsh?
You're a one eyed cockney ba$tard
And you're talking out your ar$e

 

At West Ham
"Shall we buy a stand for you" - After paying £18m for Rio (used the cash to buy a stand)


The 250 stong travelling support for Ireland - USA in a friendly (when it has been pissing down rain all day)
"We only came for the weather"


away at Chelsea after Terry had his run in with the police...
"Terrys going down, he's going down. Terry Terrys going down"
The funny thing about this is we've had it sung to us by EVERY club, except it was about Lee Bowyer. It was funny being able to say it to someone else

 

Great thread! I watch every prem game broadcast here in the US on FoxSportsWorld and can almost never make out the chants from the audio.

 

Kevin Kilbane shortless on the halfway line this season definately qualifies as a moment. Not sure if "funny" is the best word for it though!

 

One of my proudest moments - starting that one. Great night out!

Some of my other fav's...

QPR to Grimsby - "You're sh1t and you stink of fish"

Grimsby to QPR - "We're sh1t and we stink of fish"

QPR to Ben Olsen - "Where's your caravan?"

Millwall to the ref - "You'll never reach your spaceship"

Celtic to Rangers - "Who let the Huns out?"

Chelsea to Liverpool - "Feed the Scousers, do they know its Christmas time"

 

After Scottish keeper Andy Goram was diagnosed with mild schizophrenia the opposing fans started singing (behind his goal),
'There's only two Andy Gorams'

I nearly wet myself.

Then there is;

'My old man said be an arsenal fan,
I said 'fLick off, bollox, you're a (unt.'

And when rumours of Spurs signing Dean Richards from Southampton were circulating and we played them, the songs were;

'yiddo!' When he touched the ball and;

'You're Spurs and you know you are!'

He signed the next week.

Or (to the tune of 'Que Sera Sera')

'Sol Campbell, Campbell,
He joined the Arsenal scum,
He takes it up the bum,
Sol Campbell, Campbell.'

Or the classic (to the tune of 'Walking in a winter wonderland')

'Arsene, Arsene Wenger,
Arsene, Arsene Wenger,
With a packet of sweets and a cute little smile,
Wenger is a fu(king paedophile.'

Which he most certainly is NOT! Ahem.

 

Can only be properly sung to Graham Rix.

 

Legally.

 

the "Two Andy Goram's" is one of my favorites.

A great one I read about is "Welcome to Italy", chanted by Juventus fans to Napoli or clubs from Sicily.

 

I loved when Ireland had to play in Turkey's qualifying group a few years back. The Turks held up a sign saying "Welcome to Hell" when the Irish played in Istanbul. The Irish fans replied in the return fixture in Dublin with a sign that read "Welcome to Heaven"

 

when portland played vancouver this summer...
we were behind vancouvers crap keeper...
his last name was larkin and we were all chanting larkin wears a thong!!! larkin wears a thong....

it was only amusing because he kept looking back

 

This is a have to be there chant to really appreciate it.

The famous totenham hotspur went to see the pope..clap,clap
The famous totenham hotspur went to see the pope..clap,clap
The famous totenham hotspur went to see the pope.....and this is what he said...(this part sung by about 2 or 3 hundred)

Fuck off...(this part said by a few thousand)