Fire Caleb Porter pt. 2: The Cucho Era

Well, we're waiting.

 

Yep.

Bradley, Vermes, and Arena for sure. Schmetzer had always been a man manager and not a tactician. Put him on Houston and he’s trash. Put him on Seattle and he’s a champ.

 

With hard frosts fast approaching, I spent the day excavating a 10x8 foot area where I'll be installing pavers on which will go a new greenhouse (really nice, but it's 1000 lbs of aluminum and tempered glass that'll take me several days to install). Anyway, I'm ********ing beat. Goddamned roots, rocks and clay soil. The bastards... er craftsmen, who built this house a 100 years ago evidently used the back yard as their ********ing junk pile for any leftover piece of stone or slate. Assholes.

Still, I consider myself a winner because I didn't watch one damned second of this pathetic team today.

Oh and, no, Porter shouldn't be fired. The ********er should resign after betting his house on making the playoffs.

 

This means nothing until he’s fired.

Also, least breaking news alert worthy news ever.

Edit: ALSO, was that typed on a windows 95 computer? Wtf haha.

 

Written in comic sans. Appropriate.

— Philip Storer ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ #crew96 (@DigitalStorer) October 9, 2022

 

Holy shit.

He actually took blame?

 

Should have read this post instead of posting the Tweeter link in the other.

I have nothing else to add other than f#ck Nagbe and double f#ck Hurtado. Maybe they'll go to DC with our fearless leader Berry.

 

This makes F5 Fridays look like child's play.

 

I'm sure you're right about LZ, and Cucho probably deserves a longer look (even though he was bad the last several games). But do you really think Nagbe is untouchable? People keep telling us what a superstar he is, but we watch him and shrug ... A defensive midfielder on a team that set a league record for last-minute collapses is untouchable?

Room, Mensah, Wolfe, Artur, Nagbe ... put them all in the same boat and cast it adrift. Thanks for your service, guys, and that one cup was very much appreciated. But they times, they are a-changin'....

(Ownership won't do it, of course. I fear that within this organization the lack of intestinal fortitude runs deep....)

 

Yes, Porter is a reoccurring nightmare, I agree.

Side note: who could have possibly predicted than playing Miguel Berry as our starter for FOUR MONTHS would lead to disastrous results?

31 games played (21 starts), 2 goals. Didn’t score for DC at all.

What the fvck were Porter and Bez thinking?

 

Nagbe only wants to play in Ohio, so he can be close to family. He forced a trade from Atlanta for literally this very reason (he’s from Cleveland).

Who would trade assets for a guy that doesn’t want to move? This presumes that Nagbe doesn’t have a no trade clause (which I thought DPs usually have, but not sure)

It’s not that I think he should stay, it’s that:

1) he makes a lot of money for very little production

2) he can only play in certain systems

3) he might refuse a trade

4) even if he can’t refuse, who would trade for a guy that would immediately leave in the next offseason?

5) what return do we get for a 30+ year old midfielder on a huge salary, that doesn’t score goals, get assists, or defend? It would have to be a hockey style salary dump where we trade Nabge for a freakin’ fourth round Superdraft pick or something, again this presumes we can even move him.

 

I hope you held on to your 50/50 raffle tickets from the home finale. Some lucky Crew fan is going to collect on Porter's house bet.

Hopefully.

 

Hopefully this is the last year of his contract and if he can’t take 1.6 m instead of 1.8m so we can buy him down . Then he isn’t much of a team player. The only other option is to extend him one year at a lesser amount to make him at 1.6 or less both years , assuming that’s even allowed because it might not be.

 

Wolfe ????

 

Was Porter singing the company line because they seemed not to play Zardes because they were shopping him and lying to us about it . I’m sure Porter & Bez are both to blame for this strategy but the GM is in charge of that last I checked. Also Porter probably agreed because he was a ass towards Zardes. Meanwhile winger was the bigger problem all along. We also had the money to buy Zardes down.

Nagbe is Porters guy and he was a major problem towards the DP spot

fire Porter & Bez

not sure how Bez can get a free pass he can stay in FO somewhere but he needs to not be involved in the decisions making of rosters and acquisitions. He can help crunch numbers and find loopholes but his valuation of a players worth is extremely off mark !

 

Haven't really thought this through...I agree we didn't get DP level value for what we're paying Nagbe. I do wonder how much of that is Porter coaching/system verses him actually aging or regressing. He's always been very smooth with the ball and it seems like we always wish he would get forward more. In the current iteration of the Crew, I think of him as the deep lying connector who serves as the first pass for the defense. (And, at times, perhaps the guy who passes to the defense too much...) We certainly want more out of that DP slot and I wonder if it requires a new DP or a new coach who can get more out of Nagbe.

 

I cant imagine him coming back next season. I mean two straight years of missing the playoffs in this league with the budget he has is unbelievable. It would really tell us what the owners think if they are ok with him leading the team

 

NEWS: The Dispatch has learned that Columbus Crew coach Caleb Porter has been fired. With a loss in Orlando last night, Porter's #Crew96 team missed the playoffs for the second consecutive year. https://t.co/px9MUB29FD

— Bailey Johnson (@BaileyAJohnson_) October 10, 2022

Porter fired /thread

 

Reporting with @samstejskal: Caleb Porter is out as head coach of the Columbus Crew.

Announcement expected later today.

More to come soon on @TheAthleticSCCR ...

— Paul Tenorio (@PaulTenorio) October 10, 2022

National outlets saying the same.

 

anddddddddddddddddd FADE TO BLACK

 

Checkin in on the Akron Apologist Brigade.

 

We’ll give you a few days grace for your victory lap.

 

DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!