Fan's Advice for Eric Soler

Discussion in 'New York Red Bulls' started by j1mbr0wn, Dec 2, 2009.

  1. j1mbr0wn

    j1mbr0wn Member

    Jun 3, 2005
    Newark, NJ
    Club:
    New York Red Bulls
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Hi Eric. We here at BS are full of it (advice that is.) After all, I'm sure you are looking to keep this job as long as possible. This thread will enable us to collect and share this advice with you as you ponder hiring a new coach, drafting and signing players, the nuances of the MLS rules (changing as they may be), and what to put in your Red Bull to celebrate or comisserate the season as it unfolds.

    I'll start off with one for each of the categories I listed above:

    1. When hiring a new coach, look no further than Richie Williams. If you must go foreign, then I'd suggest you find someone that knows only one English phrase: "It's my fault."

    2. We have the second overall draft this year. Listen closely to what Jeff Agoos tells you, and write it down using these letters: "Dilly Duka". It's an acronym for the pick Agoos wants you to make. Don't worry, the MLS will understand.

    3. If you have a few DP slots open, and need to sign a few players, don't listen to whatever Wandering Soccerdog writes in the thread below. His advice is to pull guys out of their rocking chairs, put bandaids on their bruised foreheads. Instead, go ahead and sign Henry. But put a manditory handball goal bonus clause in his contract for every DC and Chicago game.

    4. MLS rules suck ass, but Red Bulls have lots of cash. Make sure to just pre-pay any violation penalties to the MLS comish, and we won't have any problems. AEG and LA have been doing this for years.

    5. Finally, many people put Vodka in their Red Bull to put up with last season's performance. Unfortunately, I think most of them were on the starting roster and consoled themselves before each game. Seemed like it anyway. My advice is to try mixing in Enzyte to make what I call the CluBB special (Clueless, with Big Balls.) It won't help with the season, but seems to be good enough for enhancing the Front Office decision making at Red Bull New York.

    Cheers,
    127, 7, 1-5.
     
  2. Metrosuccess

    Metrosuccess Member

    Jan 6, 2000
    NJ
    Club:
    New York Red Bulls
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Do not listen Agass under any circumstances.
     
  3. NYCfan

    NYCfan New Member

    Aug 25, 2006
    NYC, New York
    Club:
    New York Red Bulls
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Except for the Dilly Duka part.

    Feel free to bash him upside the head with a baseball bat the rest of the time.

    P.M. me I'll explain what a baseball bat is.
     
  4. Onionsack

    Onionsack BigSoccer Yellow Card

    Jul 21, 2003
    New York City
    Club:
    FC Girondins de Bordeaux
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Eric,

    Spend hours with your staff going over players in the draft and identifying players in MLS already that could help you and that are attainable via trade. Once you are convinced on signing a player or drafting one...call Agoos from down the hall and without telling him who you picked ask him who he thinks we should draft and/or sign......if he says he likes the guy you just chose.....scrap that plan and sign the next guy on your list.
     
  5. j1mbr0wn

    j1mbr0wn Member

    Jun 3, 2005
    Newark, NJ
    Club:
    New York Red Bulls
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Exactly. The best way to use Agoos' is to do exactly oposite of what he would do.
     
  6. phillips10

    phillips10 New Member

    Oct 15, 2001
    Cranford
    Club:
    New York Red Bulls
    or one better, please realized the Jeff Agoos is a strong connection to failure. He is someone that must be sacrificed in order to have the fan base take you seriously. Either can him or assign a community relations role (and let the fans know this.)

    from there please hire one MLS-rules savvy staffer to be your assistant GM. If you do go foreign on the coach, look into hiring someone with MLS or college soccer ties and local roots for assistant coaches.
     
  7. bukie2k

    bukie2k Member

    Mar 28, 2002
    New Jersey
    Quit now and spare yourself, and us, the misery.

    BTW, happy holidays!
     
  8. CFCkm7

    CFCkm7 New Member

    Sep 26, 2005
    New Jersey
    Club:
    New York Red Bulls
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Bring in Danny Califf
     
  9. Carbonero

    Carbonero Red Card

    May 10, 2008
    Dear Eric,


    Jeff Agoos likes cute short guys with accents , tacky shirts , and saltnpepper beards


    all the best,

    Carbonero
     
  10. cleansheetbsc

    cleansheetbsc Member+

    Mar 17, 2004
    Club:
    --other--
    We already have Mike Petke. We don't need another.
     
  11. wandering soccerdog

    Mar 29, 2003
    You think about me more than I do.

    Is this some type of man-crush?

    Here's my advice for Mr. Soler on moving to New York and taking a job with the Red Bulls....

    Rent, don't own.
     
  12. j1mbr0wn

    j1mbr0wn Member

    Jun 3, 2005
    Newark, NJ
    Club:
    New York Red Bulls
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Just some friendly ribbing about your favorite playmaker. :D

    And yes, renting is advisable with this job.
     
  13. Prazan

    Prazan New Member

    Aug 28, 2006
    Prague
    I don't think you can improve on this. Keep Agoos on the staff, ask his opinion frequently, and then do the exact opposite. Our new coach should employ Osorio as an assistant for the same reason. Hell, while we're at it let's get Stover to hire Charlie Stillitano to do the same in the front office.
     
  14. bukie2k

    bukie2k Member

    Mar 28, 2002
    New Jersey
    You're assuming he is still here next season.
     
  15. j1mbr0wn

    j1mbr0wn Member

    Jun 3, 2005
    Newark, NJ
    Club:
    New York Red Bulls
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Oh, and wait to sign the lease until AFTER they announce you officially. Because it may well be that Jeff Agoos is on his knees right now working hard to impress the bosses with his skills.
     

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