In stunning news, the Republic of Ejo 9 ( ALL HAIL GENERAL PARI! ) announced today that they had joined the nuclear fraternity. " With this staggering achievement, Ejo now ranks among the world's powers. Our next goal, to qualify for the World Cup and by 2018 win that ugly trophy" said General Pari in a statement to the lone memeber of the Ejo press. "What's even better is that France called with terms of their surrender. Not sure what we are going to do with it but I figure selling cell phone companies space on that tower thing should bring in a lot of cash" Pari stated. No word has been heard from the deposed former founder of Ejo, Mel Brennan, also known by his rebel name of "Cut and Paste".
Hell of an assumption there. I could be an alien... (in fact I am! According to my green card). So what's Ejo's immigration policy? I'm going away for this weekend but look forward to finding out more about how you treat aliens when I come back next week to read this.
Newsflash : General Nanbawan calls for an uncompromising résistance to the rule of dictator Pari. The general reading his statement from his stronghold in the now Free Republic of Brittany. "I call out to all lovers of Freedom and Justice on this Earth to join us in this battle."
Still photo taken from the conclusion of Morris Smeltz' (aka "General Pari") interrupted final broadcast from his mother's basement. Said a neighbor: "Yeah, Morris is usually a harmless megalomaniac and up to now the farthest he's gone is to 'liberate' my propane grill to cook some plastic figurines. That was bad enough, but the esperanto bumper stickers on your windshield in the mornings and constant singing through the bullhorn was more than we were willing to put up with."