Dwarves in MLS.

soccertom · Mar 18, 2003

Discuss. Other than ABMOD.

Noah Dahl · Mar 18, 2003

What was his name? Paul Dougherty? Great journeyman dwarf.

And Chris Henderson seems pretty Dopey.

Revolt · Mar 18, 2003

Richie Williams

Dr. Wankler · Mar 18, 2003

Mario Gori.

DoctorD · Mar 18, 2003

Please, please. They're "little people".

FWSCKEEPER · Mar 18, 2003

Cienfuegos ???

Dave Marino-Nachison · Mar 18, 2003

Dwarves make lousy fullbacks. While the dwarven defender gains a +2 bonus to Strength, a +4 bonus to Constitution, a +2 resistance bonus on all saves, and a +4 Dodge bonus to AC, he cannot move from his spot or use skills or abilities that would require movement. What's more, after rounds he is winded and suffers a –2 penalty on Strength for the duration of the encounter. These changes produce the following alterations in the above statistics: hp 96; AC 30 (touch 16, flat-footed 29); Atk +14/+9 melee (1d10+7, +1 dwarven waraxe); SV Fort +15, Ref +5, Will +7; Str 19, Dex 13, Con 22, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 8.

michael greene · Mar 18, 2003

Eliseo Quintanilla.

GoHawks4 · Mar 18, 2003

Originally posted by Dave Marino-Nachison
Dwarves make lousy fullbacks. While the dwarven defender gains a +2 bonus to Strength, a +4 bonus to Constitution, a +2 resistance bonus on all saves, and a +4 Dodge bonus to AC, he cannot move from his spot or use skills or abilities that would require movement. What's more, after rounds he is winded and suffers a –2 penalty on Strength for the duration of the encounter. These changes produce the following alterations in the above statistics: hp 96; AC 30 (touch 16, flat-footed 29); Atk +14/+9 melee (1d10+7, +1 dwarven waraxe); SV Fort +15, Ref +5, Will +7; Str 19, Dex 13, Con 22, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 8.
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This post is fantastic.

soccertom · Mar 18, 2003

Originally posted by Dave Marino-Nachison
Dwarves make lousy fullbacks. While the dwarven defender gains a +2 bonus to Strength, a +4 bonus to Constitution, a +2 resistance bonus on all saves, and a +4 Dodge bonus to AC, he cannot move from his spot or use skills or abilities that would require movement. What's more, after rounds he is winded and suffers a –2 penalty on Strength for the duration of the encounter. These changes produce the following alterations in the above statistics: hp 96; AC 30 (touch 16, flat-footed 29); Atk +14/+9 melee (1d10+7, +1 dwarven waraxe); SV Fort +15, Ref +5, Will +7; Str 19, Dex 13, Con 22, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 8.
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Priceless!

A dwarven defender is tough to nutmeg as the average nutmegable space betwen dwarvean legs is a mere 10 inches give or take an inch leaving just a real tight space for the nutmegger!

soccertom · Mar 18, 2003

Originally posted by Noah Dahl
What was his name? Paul Dougherty?
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Naw!! Doughtery was a Leprechaun!

monster · Mar 18, 2003

Originally posted by Mike Segroves
I was 12 the last time I read something like that
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Did the surgery bring you down to 9?

Jambon · Mar 18, 2003

Paul Broome could be Grumpy

Matt in the Hat · Mar 18, 2003

Originally posted by Dave Marino-Nachison
Dwarves make lousy fullbacks. While the dwarven defender gains a +2 bonus to Strength, a +4 bonus to Constitution, a +2 resistance bonus on all saves, and a +4 Dodge bonus to AC, he cannot move from his spot or use skills or abilities that would require movement. What's more, after rounds he is winded and suffers a –2 penalty on Strength for the duration of the encounter. These changes produce the following alterations in the above statistics: hp 96; AC 30 (touch 16, flat-footed 29); Atk +14/+9 melee (1d10+7, +1 dwarven waraxe); SV Fort +15, Ref +5, Will +7; Str 19, Dex 13, Con 22, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 8.
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Now do I roll the 12 sided die?

Beech · Mar 18, 2003

Now someone sockpuppet the DungeonMaster screen name and lets see what we can up with for other players?

Or Coaches?
What would Sigi's mobility/dexterity be? Less than that of a dwarven fullbacks?

Would he weild the Giants Warsandwich or the Arena Staff of Pompousness?

snowfx2 · Mar 18, 2003

I think The Dwarves would be a great band to have play at halftime of the all star game this year. Nothing like nakedness on stage and having songs called "Teach Children to Worship Satan" "I Want You to Die" or lyrics such as "I don't wanna be your preacher, I wanna be your pimp" and a guitar player who goes by Hewhocannotbenamed.

Serie Zed · Mar 18, 2003

Originally posted by Dave Marino-Nachison
Dwarves make lousy fullbacks. While the dwarven defender gains a +2 bonus to Strength, a +4 bonus to Constitution, a +2 resistance bonus on all saves, and a +4 Dodge bonus to AC, he cannot move from his spot or use skills or abilities that would require movement. What's more, after rounds he is winded and suffers a –2 penalty on Strength for the duration of the encounter. These changes produce the following alterations in the above statistics: hp 96; AC 30 (touch 16, flat-footed 29); Atk +14/+9 melee (1d10+7, +1 dwarven waraxe); SV Fort +15, Ref +5, Will +7; Str 19, Dex 13, Con 22, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 8.
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If I laugh hysterically am I outed as a closet geek?

The Cadaver · Mar 18, 2003

Originally posted by Serie Zed
If I laugh hysterically am I outed as a closet geek?
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Too late

guamster · Mar 18, 2003

Originally posted by Serie Zed
If I laugh hysterically am I outed as a closet geek?
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And if I don't laugh because I have no idea what you are talking about, does that mean I am part of the cool crowd?

cl_hanley · Mar 18, 2003

Most of the current crop of successful CEO's that run the companies that make the world go around started out on Dungeons & Dragons.

There is a direct corollary between stock options and hit points.

Bluecat82 · Mar 18, 2003

Originally posted by cl_hanley
Most of the current crop of successful CEO's that run the companies that make the world go around started out on Dungeons & Dragons.

There is a direct corollary between stock options and hit points.
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It's called Resource Management, I believe...

Hmm...that necklace that Cobi wears must be an Amulet of Foul Me Excessively (all Mexicans suffer a -4 penalty to resist)

Beech · Mar 19, 2003

I hear the Ruiz Molester Mustache can give you a +10 Dead Beat Dad rating, +5 Dive Skill (+7 during any movement within a Penalty Area), -2 on Marketability, and a +500,000 in Fantasy Salary.

TTweLLMan · Mar 23, 2003

.....
you guys are screwed up

+20 coolness points for me!!!

Crewbasher · Mar 23, 2003

Originally posted by Beech
I hear the Ruiz Molester Mustache can give you a +10 Dead Beat Dad rating, +5 Dive Skill (+7 during any movement within a Penalty Area), -2 on Marketability, and a +500,000 in Fantasy Salary.
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Quality. I'm impressed that you managed to take the originally funny D&D post and make it better. Well done.

PS - A Barbarian Orc would make a kick-ass fullback. Big guy, +5 strength, and when he goes into rage mode, it's like Joey Franchino on speed. Beautiful stuff.